Lao Pan is the "Foreign Affairs" minister of our university dormitory. He is very good at socializing, and the young guys are standard-looking, but the fly in the ointment is that he has not been able to make a girlfriend. why? Because he is very mysterious in everyone's eyes, and it is harder than others to see him through. I talked to a few girls with whom he had contact. At the beginning, I thought he was a cheerful and sunny boy. After a long time in the relationship, I realized that he was actually a very closed boy.
It turns out that Old Pan has always kept secrets about his private life and never talked about himself with others. Whenever others asked, he would change the topic. No wonder his classmates found her mysterious.
People who study communicative psychology have pointed out that when people see their shortcomings or weaknesses, they will feel that you are true and trustworthy, and you will not be false, thus creating a sense of intimacy; on the contrary, you will completely hide yourself "Get up" will make people feel pretentious, hypocritical, and stressful.
Some people in life are quite closed, and when they say something to them, they always find a topic to get around. But Such people are not necessarily all introverts. Although some people talk a lot, they never talk about their private life or their inner feelings. Knowing each other is the most important thing: knowing each other, It’s about being intimate. If you want to be a close friend with others, you must show your true feelings and thoughts to the other person, speak your heart with him (her), confess yourself frankly, state yourself, and sell yourself. This is self-exposure.
When you don’t know anything about the other party, but the other party knows you well, you will not feel comfortable. You express your emotions, but the other party keeps secrets. If you don’t have a heart with you, you will definitely not get closer to him. One step. When a person confesses his inner feelings to you, you can feel that the other person trusts you and wants to communicate with you emotionally, which will suddenly bring you closer.
in life Among them, some people have more close friends, although he (she) does not seem to be very good at socializing. If you look closely, you will find that this kind of person generally has the same point.It means being sincere and eager for emotional communication. Although they didn't say much, they were all sincere. When they are in trouble, there will always be someone to help them, and they are very generous. And some people, although they are very good at socializing, and even deal with it easily in social situations, it is difficult for them to find friends. Because they are accustomed to talking on the scene and doing superficial skills.
You must know that there is always something in common between people emotionally. If you are willing to confide in the other person, you will find the common ground and establish a certain emotional connection with the other person. If you want to make close friends, you may wish to open your heart to them first!
Of course, exposure must be moderate, and don't be afraid to talk about it.
is also a roommate in a dormitory. Our sixth child is just such a person. The sixth child has a girlfriend. Every time he goes back to the dormitory, he tells us what happened between them. Even the condoms of any brand and color shook out. Later when everyone saw him talking about this, they found a reason to go out.
In the process of interpersonal communication, there must be a certain degree of self-exposure. Excessive self-exposure can be annoying. Therefore, in our interpersonal communication, self-exposure should pay attention to several issues:
1. Self-exposure should follow the principle of reciprocity.
2. Self-exposure should be gradual.
Real intimacy is established very slowly, and its establishment depends on trust and constant experience of getting along with others. Take the principle of gradual deepening. In this way you will be liked and make close friends.
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