When Romeo met Zhu Yingtai-Analyze these two tragic stories from the perspective of psychology and sociology

Romeo and Zhu Yingtai stills

From this point of view, the death of love is commendable in both Eastern and Western cultures, but if we expand the association: These two people were before their death Met and learned about the stories that happened to each other, what will happen?

There are too many imaginable spaces, but there are only three possibilities:

1. They still choose to die;
2. They no longer choose the way of dying;
3. One still chose to die, while the other gave up.

how would they choose,This is not the point.

What we are going to focus on today is:
When a person encounters a shock that is enough to make him choose to self-destruct, what can be saved?

Regarding suicide data, there is a lot of information available online.
The suicide rate in our country is actually relatively low, and it has been declining compared to the past. This is because the process of urbanization has caused the suicide rate in rural areas, especially the suicide rate of rural women, to drop significantly. However, because the population base is too large, the absolute number of suicides The proportion in the world is still quite high.

There are special studies on suicide in the West. Emile Durkheim is the originator of this, and he is listed as the three founders of sociology alongside Karl Marx and Max Weber. He is the author of Suicide Theory. It has a profound impact on future generations.

"Suicide Theory" divides the reasons for suicide into four categories:

egoistic suicide
altruistic suicide
anomie suicide
fatalistic suicide blocke_blocke_p10ppanquot For the specific explanation, you can check it yourself. In fact, it is very easy to understand, so I won’t go into details here.

We attribute all the reasons for suicide, including other reasons not among the four reasons, to one reason, that is: is eager to leave the current reality.

All other reasons will eventually lead to this reason, and then they can stimulate action.

That is to say, no matter what other reasons, as long as we can cut off the last cause before it occurs, then there will be no results we don't want to see.

One of the best ways to cut is to intervene with the identity of the same or similar experience, or at least to intervene with the identity of the recognized counterparty.

Identity

At the beginning of the communication, both parties can only confirm the identity of the other party to determine their next actions.

For example, everyone who watches a movie or TV series when they are young will want to confirm their positive role as soon as possible And the villain? Only in this way can you determine which side you support.

Children’s attention is limited. They will want to confirm their identities as quickly as possible to clarify the objects they support, and of course their own side will win, of course, the middle process can be interspersed with adventures, but Good people cannot die, or they can be resurrected if they die, otherwise the story will not continue.

When two people with similar identities meet, whether accidentally or deliberately, they will quickly narrow the distance between each other and establish a sense of affinity. Only on this basis can communication develop towards acceptance of each other.

At the same time Romeo and Zhu Yingtai re-established themselves when listening to each other's statements, that is, the self in the eyes of others, which is also a strengthening of self-identity.

This argument belongs to the category of psychology: People live in a gregarious society.Therefore, people's self-awareness is more dependent on other people's responses to themselves.

In other words, what kind of person you are, or what kind of person you think you are, is actually more derived from the perspective of others looking at you, but the point is that someone should look at you. As for how to look at you, then Is secondary.

This is why in so many suicide TV dramas, all psychologists or negotiators will first let the person concerned recall his family, relatives and friends, because all these people may still be looking at the thought. People who want to leave this world.

Conversely, in this world, who else can you visit? Who else do you care about? It also determines the meaning of your own existence.

When you start paying attention, your self is strengthened, and this self-awareness can be further strengthened by the other person’s attention to yourself.

An important reason for the death of love is that the person who looks at him and what he can see is gone.

When the loved one passes away, the identity of being loved and able to be loved also disappears at the same time. Just like the death of a parent, the identity of "child" will automatically disappear.

The disappearance of identity is close to the experience of death, because all identities are attached to the "self", which is actually the deepest damage to the self.

When a parent beats and scolds a child, the child's inner identity is not weakened, he just feels that his parents do not understand him. But if parents don’t care about their children at all, or even ignore their existence, the children’s sense of identity will be greatly injured, so "indifference" is the most harmful behavior in all native families.

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Actions and beliefs

Back to the story, if Romeo and Zhu Yingtai met before they died, and they learned that each other had similar situations and pains similar to them, then them Has the pain increased or decreased?

The answer is obviously the latter. When a person understands that the situation of others is similar to himself, he will no longer feel that he is a unique misery in this world, and his heart may arise from this. A trace of pity, even a smirk.

"compared" sometimes increases pain, and often increases pain, but sometimes it reduces or even eliminates pain.

In this virtual story, three things happened between Romeo and Zhu Yingtai:
1. They communicated with each other;
2. They learned about each other's close situation through communication;
3. They compared each other consciously or unconsciously.

Communication can relieve heart knots, understand and be considerate of each other, and can put people on the ground, so they will be able to expand their options more, because through the above three things, they will no longer be closed at least temporarily The individual’s past painful experience.

Any action or inaction of a person will transmit information inward and outward. Therefore, in a broad sense, the action itself is communication, and communication is the transmission of information.

Animal communication is most of the time through body movements. Of course, making sounds or emitting smells can also be understood as communication through actions.

even stands still,It is also a kind of action. Some animals can stay still for a long time when hunting other animals. This is because they are releasing safe messages to the surroundings to trap those passing delicacies.

When two people meet, their actions or inactions are actually releasing information to the other party and themselves, and the other party's response is also releasing information to themselves and the other party themselves.

All this information can form demand-based value in people's hearts. The demand hierarchy of Maslow provides us with a framework for us to understand the five basic needs of people.

It can be said that all activities of human society are, in the final analysis, an interaction between satisfying the needs of oneself and satisfying the needs of others.

In this interaction, value is generated. The value of
is mainly reflected in two aspects, one is the value of self-satisfying needs, and the other is the value of satisfying the needs of others.

Due to the complexity of human society, value will also become an abstract concept, that is, from the individual to the collective development, such as the realization of the value of the team, the value of the family, and even the value of the country, and based on the stability of the collective, There will be more abstract values, such as the pursuit of justice, fairness, and democracy.

When Romeo and Zhu Yingtai had a friendly and pleasant exchange, they will reshape their value in their hearts.

It is very likely that Romeo and Zhu Yingtai will begin to understand that dying love is no longer the only valuable thing. If you live well, it may be that the lost lover is more willing to see.

The value will be implemented in the meaning, and the valuable things will have meaning.Pursuing value and meaning means establishing goals.
So when someone says: life has no meaning, life has no goal, and life has no value, they are actually expressing a meaning.

Values, meanings, and goals, summed up, will form people's inner beliefs, believing in what results are valuable, believing in what behavior is meaningful, and believing in what goals are achievable.

All these are not static words in people's hearts. These will change as people grow up and experience and their status changes.

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Misunderstanding

In the appendix to this article, there is a summary of the above two stories, from which we can find that the reasons for the two tragic stories are due to "misunderstanding".

Liang Shanbo misunderstood the letter Zhu Yingtai wrote to him and got the time wrong;
Romeo mistakenly believed that Juliet was dead, but in fact she just drank a medicine that looked like she was dead.

The great thing about Shakespeare is that the misunderstanding he described is a misunderstanding based on external events. It is a misunderstanding that normal people can have. In other words, it is a misunderstanding that Romeo cannot recover by reason.

But Liang Shanbo’s misunderstanding was caused by himself, and his problem was due to himself.

This probably also coincides with the differences between Eastern and Western cultures. Although the root of the pain is misunderstanding, the misunderstanding in the West is caused by others, and the East can only blame itself.

Of course, this is a case, not all of them, but one problem is the same, that is, tragedy stems from misunderstanding, and is more embarrassing than conspiracy.

This can’t help but make people reflect,To what extent is the suffering in this world due to "misunderstanding"?

In fact, most of the pain is due to misunderstanding.

The greatest pain is also out of misunderstanding, such as "Dou E's injustice".

Eliminating misunderstandings is the ability of people to settle down. Any organization, from a family to a large country, who has the ability to eliminate misunderstandings, is the mainstay.

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Attached:
"Romeo and Juliet Story Summary"
Capulet and Montagu are two families that are enemies of the city. The Montague family has a son named Romeo. He is 17 years old and has a dignified character. He is a young man whom everyone likes very much. But he fell in love with Rosalan, a girl who didn't like him. When he heard that Rosalan would go to the Capulet’s banquet, he decided to sneak into the banquet hall. So Romeo did it for Rosalan, and his friend gave up Rosalan in order to let Romeo find a new girl. He and his friend put on masks for their own purposes, and went into the banquet hall.

So, at this banquet, he was deeply attracted by the Capulet’s only daughter, Juliet. That night, Juliet was the protagonist of the banquet, and she was beautiful at the age of 13. Romeo stepped forward to express his love to Juliet, and Juliet also had a good impression of Romeo. However, neither side knew the identity of the other side at the time. After the truth was revealed, Romeo still couldn't get rid of his admiration for Juliet. He stepped over the wall and entered Capulet's orchard, just in time to hear Juliet's uncontrollable voice calling Romeo at the window. Obviously, it was love at first sight.

the next day,Romeo goes to see the priest in the nearby monastery, please help. The priest agreed to Romeo's request, thinking it was a way to resolve the contradiction between the two families. Romeo invited Juliet to the monastery through Juliet's nanny, and married under the auspices of the priest. At noon that day, Romeo met Juliet's cousin Tibalt on the street. Tibalt wants to fight Romeo. Romeo is unwilling to fight, but his friend (the pacifist) feels Romeo has no face, so his friend fights with Tibalt, but Tibalt takes the opportunity to kill him. Romeo was furious and drew his sword to avenge his friend, so Tibalt was killed by Romeo.

After many negotiations, the ruler of the city decided to expel Romeo and ordered him to be executed if he dared to return. Juliet is very sad, she loves Romeo very much. Romeo didn't want to leave, he agreed to leave temporarily after the priest's persuasion. That night, he sneaked into Juliet's bedroom and spent the wedding night. At dawn the next day, Romeo had to start his exile. As soon as Romeo left, the noble Count Paris came to propose again. Capulet was very satisfied and ordered Juliet to get married next Thursday.

Juliet went to the priest to find a way. The priest gave her a medicine. After taking it, it looked like she was dead, but she would wake up after 42 hours. The priest promised her to send someone to Romeo, who would soon dig the tomb and let her and Romeo fly far away.

Juliet acted according to plan and took the medicine the night before the wedding. The next day the wedding naturally became a funeral. The priest immediately sent someone to inform Romeo. However, Romeo knew the wrong news before the priest's messenger arrived. He came to Juliet's tomb in the middle of the night, killed Earl Paris who had blocked him, and dug the tomb. After kissing Juliet, he took out the poison he brought with him and drank it, and fell beside Juliet. Die. Romeo and Paris were dead when the priest arrived.

At this time, Juliet also woke up. There were more and more people, and the priest fled before Juliet could be taken care of. Juliet sees Romeo who is dead, but she doesn’t want to live alone.She did not find the poison, so she drew out Romeo's sword and stab at herself, fell on Romeo and died. Both parents came, and the priest told them the story of Romeo and Juliet.

After losing their children, the parents of the two families woke up, but it was too late. Since then, the two families have eliminated their grievances and cast a golden statue for Romeo and Juliet in the city.

"Summary of the Story of Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai"
Yuezhou (now Shaoxing) Shangyu County There was a woman who liked to read poems and wanted to study abroad. The woman in, can't show her face outside, so she and the girl Yinxin disguised as men and went to study in Yuezhou City. In the middle of the journey, the two met Liang Shanbo and Shijiu, a scholar in Yin County (now Ningbo), who were also going to study in Yuezhou. Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai hit it off, so they went together and went to Yuezhou.

During the three years in Yuezhou, Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai were inseparable. They read together during the day and sleep in the same bed at night. Zhu Yingtai secretly admired Liang Shanbo, but Liang Shanbo had a straightforward personality and never knew Zhu Ying. Tai is a woman, and she doesn't even know what she wants. Once during the Ching Ming Festival, when the two of them went to Jinghu to play, Zhu Yingtai had repeatedly hinted to Liang Shanbo by borrowing the scenery, but Liang Shanbo could not understand at all, and even made fun of Zhu Yingtai comparing herself to a woman. In the end, Zhu Yingtai had to be straightforward. The ground said to Liang Shanbo that Liang Shanbo suddenly realized. But this incident was all peeked by Ma Wencai learned that Ma Wencai also knew that Zhu Yingtai was a woman.

Later, his family wrote to urging Zhu Yingtai to go home. Before leaving, Zhu Yingtai left a letter telling Liang Shanbo "Twenty-eight, three-seven, four-six-span", which meant that Liang Shanbo was going to wish in ten days. The family proposes marriage, but Liang Shanbo thought it would be three ten days together, so he went to propose marriage a month later. When Liang Shanbo happily arrived at Zhu’s house,Knowing that Ma Wencai had already taken the first step to propose a marriage, and gave the bride price, Liang Shanbo had to leave heartbroken, and Zhu Yingtai sent him off along the road, and it was hard to separate.

After Liang Shanbo returned home, Acacia was seriously ill. He wrote to Zhu Yingtai asking for some prescriptions that he could not find and could not get, saying that his condition was desperate. At the same time, he hoped that Zhu Yingtai could come to visit. Yingtai replied to tell Liang Shanbo that he had no chance in this life, and only hoped that the two could be buried together in Nanshan after their deaths. Later Liang Shanbo died of illness. Zhu Yingtai pretended to agree to the marriage of the Ma family, but requested that the welcoming team must pass through Nanshan and let her go down to worship Liang Shanbo.

When Zhu Yingtai got off the sedan chair to worship the tomb, the wind and rain were violent and the wind was miserable. Liang Shanbo's tomb broke open. Upon seeing the situation, Zhu Yingtai jumped in desperately, and the tomb was closed again soon. Then a pair of butterflies flew out from the grave.

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