Looking back on the past, my life is full of memories of gradual shame.
Ye Zang, I like this name. Like a cowardly little caterpillar, as long as there is a leaf, it can cover his whole world.
Obedience, this is my last courtship to mankind
I have to admit that human character is born. Ye Zang was in a good family background, well-groomed, and good-minded, but he just didn't fit into this world.
Ye Zang discovered people's hypocrisy when he was young. And it is this hypocrisy that allows adults to enjoy themselves in the social field. So Ye Zang put on himself a foolish mask, wronged himself, and pleased others.
Early-sighted people have the most insight into people's hearts, so they have nowhere to settle themselves.
Think of me as a dispensable existence. I really can't avoid it, I am willing to make funny moves, make you smile, make you ignore me, and then despise me. This is my compromise with mankind and my final courtship of mankind.
Asked what I wanted, but suddenly I didn't want anything. Anyway, nothing in this world can make me happy.
Self-enclosed children only want to be with books, but their father thinks that people at this age should like lion toys. The choking Ye Zang couldn't say a word "Don't you want it?"
Father looks disappointed!
What a great failure,He actually annoyed his father. In order to make up for the mistake and make his father happy, Ye Zang made plans in the middle of the night, and finally wrote the words "lion dance" on his father's notebook.
A risky action against one's will and great success. Father said that he couldn't help laughing in the toy store.
is not a person who is born to like to pretend, but the world forces them to hide their nature.
It is impossible for people to clenched their fists and smile at the same time. Only monkeys can do that.
What should I say? The sickly Ye Zang often asks for leave and does not go to class for several months, but the exam is better than anyone in the school.
Because of his personality, his intelligence did not bring her luck.
Ye Zang didn't work hard during school. He draws cartoons and writes comic novels in class, and looks at others contentedly because he laughs. He observed that the teacher reprimanded him on the surface for not doing his job properly, but secretly opened Ye Zangxin's composition like a fan, trembling with joy.
The men and women in the family violated Ye Zang at will, because he was sure he would not report. Indeed, Ye Zang does not believe in human beings. He knows the results of the whistleblowing. listens to the clever and eloquent words of those who are well versed in the way of dealing with the world. So he chose to swallow his hatred instead of wasting his tongue.
Fool Danzhu’s two prophecies against Ye Zang, one is "being fascinated by women" and the other is "becoming a great painter". For this reason, Ye Zang went to Tokyo desperately.
If you can avoid fierce joy, there will be no grief.
"Could you lend me five dollars?"
only has a close relationship with Ye Zang,Masao Horiki, who had never had a half-word conversation, opened up the new life of Yazang's sensual dog with these words.
Soon, Ye Zang understood that tobacco, alcohol, and prostitutes were excellent means to divert and expel the fear of the world. All three of them need money, don't be sincere, let you enjoy peace without burden.
If you can avoid fierce likes, there will be no grief.
Ye Zang, who was in high school, was very handsome and very gentle. He provoked many women from good families to secretly give up and entangled. He always endured slight nausea and tried his best to send them away. Happiness is untouchable, he is afraid of being hurt.
I met the hotel attendant Hengzi, the wife of the fraudster, and made Ye Zang happy. They pity each other with the same illness, and both have a lonely temperament. They communicate with each other, and their love together is a happy night to liberate themselves physically and mentally.
" Money is in favor, and money is fate. " Ye Zang, shy in his pocket, escaped his love. Maybe he never wanted to love that woman in the past, so he could only take back his sincerity in a hurry.
One month later, Yehiding, who couldn't afford the wine, was instigated by Horiki and found Hengzi again. After a drunken drunkenness, they met to commit suicide the next day.
Two people throw into the river together. Hengzi is dead, but Ye Zang is still alive. But since then he was ruined!
Father no longer cares about him.
The fallen Ye Zang went to find Horiki. This realistic man seemed extremely impatient even if Ye Zang sat for a while. At this time, reporter Jingzi rescued Ye Zang and took him home.
I can’t talk about love or not, Ye Zang, who is addicted to game life,Just need a safe haven. Here, he is still superficially docile and amiable to everyone, especially Shizuko's daughter Shigeko.
In fact, he is so old-fashioned and addicted to alcohol. When there is no money, he will take Jingzi's clothes to pawn. It was time when he came back drunk one day and saw the happy scene of mother and daughter talking next to each other under the gentle light. Ye Zang suddenly felt a sense of guilt of "I'm sorry, how disturbed I was", and fled again.
How to say Ye Zang will make women hooked. In this situation, there is a young girl named Yuzi who trusts him and follows him recklessly.
After the two got married, they still lived the life of drinking and drinking. Yuzi is the representative of purity and beauty in Ye Zang's heart. Suddenly one night, Ye Zang and Horiki witnessed a good show: What are the two animals doing?
He watched, without disturbing Yuko and the short businessman, rushing to the roof like an escape.
The fear of distrust of humans struck again, and Ye Zang began to turn his head in his youth that night.
Only one night away, my heart is like two people!
Drinking, coughing up blood, and injecting morphine, he was sent to a lunatic asylum. At this moment, Ye Zang felt that he was completely useless and had lost his qualifications to be a human being.
I went to see " Disqualification " by Dazai Osamu Dazai . It started with an introduction to the boring country life, and the people who watched it wanted to sleep. It feels so boring, and I'm still at a loss after barely reading it. This is not the same as the famous articles I have seen.
" Rashomon " by Ryunosuke Kawasuke,Those who can see have a numb scalp and chill from the bottom of their hearts. Bi Feiyu 's "Corn, Maijia 's "The Sea of Life", people who watch sad, angry, desolate, and regretful, there are always strong emotions intertwined, surging in their chests. Unlike this, search for comments immediately after reading to see what others say.
This book uses very mournful words to describe a person's boring and helpless life.
Duckweed is like a stream of water, so why bother to worry about the willow on the edge of the river.
Concluding remarks: Disqualification in the world, loss of the qualifications to be a human, just a manifestation of no love in the heart.
Ye Zang's life is like a lesson from the past, which makes people think a lot! How can we avoid depression and live this short life splendidly.
Ye Zang's inherent gloomy temperament made him fear human beings. Don't dare to talk to others, afraid of being ruthlessly disappointed in the sincerity of giving.
He was moved by the three women, and then hid their hearts. Escape is his way to protect himself.
A person has to open his heart, learn to love and accept, in order to clear the haze and become clear.
.I am not happy or unhappy today. It's just that everything will pass.
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