How to break out of the ambiguous addiction and have a true love?

Ambiguous makes the heart beat, love makes the heart beat.

-Qingjiu sentiment

I like my job very much, because sometimes people need me, just a person to talk to. Human nature is so diverse. From other people's stories, I can see the whole process of a relationship from happening to disappearing.

Xiaoyue is a girl who often appears in my private messages recently. Chatting with her is more like listening to her telling stories by herself.

In her story, there is a boy who is as good as the sun.

She always describes him like this, "I like to see him smiling. I feel very happy when I see him smiling."

The him in her mouth is always surrounded by a group of friends. No matter what she talks about, she can talk freely, and she is very caring and gentle with her, remembering all her little hobbies.

She said, "How does he know so much? Compared to him, I don't seem to know anything."

I can read that Xiao Yue likes him and is even a little infatuated.

I chatted with her a lot, and occasionally, I would tease her like a friend, calling him her boyfriend.

and her replies always appear hasty, shy but with a hint of sweetness, "Oh, we are not boyfriend and girlfriend yet."

is not yet, and I can understand the difference between it and not.

I once asked her, "Why don't you give it a try? "

She replied, "If he really likes me, he will definitely confess to me. Moreover, being together like this now is no different from boy and girl friends.

Xiao Yue enjoys such a relationship when she is happy, so I can only carefully suggest her and confirm the importance of the relationship.

This warm and sweet relationship is just like her addiction. Let her immerse her in it. But I don’t know if the other person is also in such addiction.

The difference between heartbeat and heartbeat

In love, the feeling of heartbeat is something that everyone has experienced. The cause of the heartbeat is too common, sometimes it only requires a simple look back, or the smell of cologne that occasionally drifts over the tip of the nose.

The heartbeat is because the person poked the soft spot in your heart. As for this point, it is caused. Whether the ripple effect can continue is unknown.

Helen Fisher, an anthropologist and biologist at Rutgers University, USA, after years of research, The process of human love is divided into three stages, the desire stage, the attraction stage, and the attachment stage.

The cause of the desire stage,It is just the combined effect of various hormones, which is the most primitive biological instinct.

And the heartbeat is even just the beginning of the whole phase of desire.

As for the heartbeat, it is far from simple. It is in the middle of the transition from the desire stage to the attraction stage. Based on the basic goodwill, we began to yearn for each other's closeness, hoping that the close relationship between each other would continue for a long time, until we entered the attachment stage.

Therefore, people often regard the heartbeat as the true beginning of love, not the heartbeat.

The imaginary relationship

Although ambiguous is like an addiction, I don’t think ambiguous should not exist. It creates an opportunity for love to happen, like planting a seed. As for whether this seed can germinate and grow up, we cannot rely solely on the seed itself, it always requires some external conditions.

For single men and women, don’t refuse ambiguity. What should really be rejected is hopeless ambiguity.

Since ambiguousness is a biological reaction, it can be basically confirmed that the generation of ambiguous relationships is based on the basic goodwill between the opposite sex.

So since the other person is on your favorite list, don't deny it, you hope to have a two-way stable love relationship with him.

All we need to do is how to make this seed germinate and grow faster.

One, stay rational. This is the most important one. Be rational even if you have a strong affection for the other party. After all, ambiguity is just a biological reaction based on basic good feelings. If the other party has no further ideas, then all efforts will have no premise.

2. Keep a sense of distance. Yishu said: "Women must have the subtlety of women. Women must have an ambiguous attitude, knowing that men lie and will not reveal them, and men also know that she knows that men are lying, such a feeling of suspicion and suspicion. , Is the greatest strength of women. "So, regardless of men and women, they like this kind of just right sense of distance. With a sense of distance, there will be an urge to explore.

Three, proper hint. Faced with ambiguity, you can go straight ahead, and naturally you can also be careful. May wish to choose an unusual time, seemingly unintentionally tell Ta that you are actually different to Ta, and then leave a little suspense for the other party to guess. In the ambiguous period, throwing a question and properly drawing the test site is far better than sending the answer directly with both hands.

four, Keep it novel. Everyone is multi-faceted, so don't show all of yourself to the other person. You have many advantages, which should be shown bit by bit. In the process of this display, not only can you further create a good image in the other's heart, but you can also slowly explore the other's preferences.

I hope that after each period of ambiguity, love will go both ways.

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