Text/Fortunately, online special author Feiye
Some people have been rumoring that the Ali case will be reversed before, but it is Wang Mouwen's wife who never expected to reverse the trend of public opinion.
On August 22, a person who claimed to be "Wang Mouwen's wife" posted a long article on Weibo to "justify" Wang Mouwen.
raised a lot of questions, there are 3 contrasting points:
is not sober, so blockquote
Zhang is the aggressor. She didn’t mention a single sentence, so she may have inside information;
Although Wang made a mistake, it was because he did not resist Zhou’s passionate seduction, so There is no such thing as infringement.
All in all, Wang Mouwen did have a relationship with Zhou Mou, and his personal morals were at a loss, but he would not commit a crime.
Her statement and Zhou's statement are still quite different in detail. As she wanted to prove, one is a crime, the other is just pure passion derailment.
The current police investigation results show that:
Zhang has been arrested on suspicion of forcing wexie;
Wang, Wen is suspectedIt is still under further investigation and has not yet been characterized.
Strictly speaking, the police verdict must be based on irrefutable evidence, so at present we can only think that both Zhang and Wang have weixie behavior. As for whether it is Zhou seduce or QJ, there is no conclusion. Therefore, before the further investigation report of the police is released, do not make too many comments. After all, there are indeed many doubts.
Regardless of right and wrong, they dare to make things so big, they must have their own reasons for having no alternative. Otherwise, who wants to make this kind of unglamorous housework known to the world?
01
Why do men make mistakes,
It is always women who clean up the mess?
Compared with Zhou, Wang's wife has taken this step even more embarrassing. Regardless of whether Wang took the initiative or was forced (the police are still investigating, so the conclusion cannot be made), his derailment is a fact. As a wife who has been with him for 15 years, she has always been loving, and it is hard to accept this fact so quickly.
met Zhang Yuqi like that, they must have been divorced at the moment.
However, it is obvious that she is more generous, not only chose to forgive, but also took the initiative to stand up to maintain his innocence. I have to say that Wang Mouwen should be grateful for his wife who is "reasonable and never abandoning".
However, many netizens are not worth it for her. Think she is stupid, she is cheap, she just can't bear this "money tree".
From the standpoint of "zero tolerance for derailment", it is normal to think so. But in reality, after a man cheated, more than half of the women chose to forgive, and the outcome might not be bad. Whether it is forgiveness or divorce, it doesn't matter whether it is right or wrong. The marriage relationship is complicated. Right or wrong is also difficult to measure with a single standard. Happiness or unhappiness is like a person who drinks water and knows whether he is warm or cold.
Wang's wife's reaction can not help but remind people of Dong Huahua.
The husband is also from Ali, and they all cheated. After the accident, the man kept silent, and it was the derailed self who rushed to the front line to guard the family.
Last year, Dong Huahua hammered a third party into a street mouse that everyone shouted and beaten with just one sentence. Jiang Fan returned to the family, and she was still a good wife and mother and enjoyed the peaceful days of the years.
sounds like a good ending.
But most of the time, the wife's forbearance is not such a happy ending (not to mention, we don't know the follow-up of Dong Huahua), but another long civil war.
Once the derailed Pandora's box is opened, it is difficult to guarantee that her husband will not be tempted to wander on the edge of derailment time and time again. Related research shows that cheating is very addictive, not so easy to quit. One can imagine how disturbing such a marriage is.
What's worse is that cheating men can remain silent. Many men will simply tear their faces after being caught. The original partner was angry, and the husband was guarding the news of the third party, and he really searched a lot. Those who are a little more civilized will choose to divorce immediately because they are unwilling to deal with such a chaotic scene.
In either case,The response of men is really not responsible enough. Even so, the first reaction of many women after being cheated is to bravely rush to the front line to protect their marriage. In contrast, after being cheated, almost all men can divorce without hesitation, and most of them will choose to retaliate severely.
This was the case for the greenfield incident that caused a lot of noise last year. After the man was cheated, he calmly talked about the woman's words, and then exposed all of them to the Internet, and beat her by surprise.
Why are women not as decisive as men in the face of derailment, and even stand up to justify men?
From a realistic perspective, there are roughly several reasons:
1. Worry about not being able to live alone: relying on men to live without the ability to survive independently. For her, feelings are not the primary consideration, and it is important to keep the marriage.
2. Not reconciled: I’m used to it, I’m not reconciled just like this. He even acquiesced in his heart that it is normal for a man to be bothered, as long as he goes home.
3. Because of the child: I am worried that a single-parent family is not conducive to the physical and mental development of the child, and hope to maintain the integrity of the family for the child.
4. Fear of loneliness: I am worried that it will be difficult to find a suitable one after the divorce.
In comparison, men are not trapped by these reasons. Why?
Because these considerations are necessary, but if a person believes that he is worthy of respect and love, he will not be entangled. Men's decisiveness stems from the fact that they care more about their own feelings, and the cost of divorce is lower. When the cost of a person's self-satisfaction is low, his behavior is more casual.
is the same,Wang Mouwen could not control himself because he subconsciously felt that the cost of this matter would not be too high. His courage was given by the unspoken rule of indulging men's "weixie", and it was also given by his wife.
In comparison, his wife has more worries. She wants to maintain the man she has chosen by herself and the home she has worked so hard to manage. There was no problem at all from the starting point, but she had forgotten a basic fact: it was her husband who was responsible for this matter. Otherwise, one will be driven away, and there will be the next one, which can keep people, but can't keep the heart.
It’s just that when a person is worried too much, he will easily lose his rational position and become very emotional.
02
Why are all the noises muted after the man cheated?
In the classic marriage movie " a day on the beach ", there is such a scene.
The man cheated, but he was reluctant to be a gentle and virtuous wife at home, nor could he let go of his vigorous and smart female colleagues outside. Under entanglement, he wrote to them while he was on a business trip abroad, and deliberately accidentally put the letters of the two people upside down.
Unfortunately, although the wife is very sad, but she is gentle to the bone, and she did not go crazy to tear the third party. On the contrary, the third party came to the door calmly and said, "You already know our business, right? I can tell you for sure that I don't want to continue to develop with him. I am a person who is afraid of trouble. The matter has caused me a lot of trouble. I guess he did it on purpose and just doesn't want to make a choice."
After she said these things, she did not forget to warn her wife: "You should do something for yourself earlier. Decisions and some arrangements."
When the wife asked her: "Do you still love him?" "
She smiled slightly: "Maybe you grew up in a comfortable and romantic environment, which makes you feel that there is still love in this world. The environment where I grew up told me that there is no love in this world, maybe there is a short impulse, that's all. "
These two women were too calm and restrained, and there was no conflict at all.
The man suddenly saw his wife and became desperate to play. For his own problems, let him pretend to be dead, and decisively turned and left the beach, leaving behind a bewildered policeman.
Since then, she will spend more time on pleasing herself and developing her career. Life is more and more stretched, and there is no more sorrow before.
This film about women's independence and awakening was filmed in 1983. After more than 30 years, it is still worth thinking about.
it It reveals a simple but always overlooked fact: cheating is a man's habitual tactic to avoid marital problems, so after being exposed, if he is not given a suitable step, he will generally choose to continue to avoid it.
Unless, during this derailment crisis, he can take the initiative to stand up and solve the problem. Otherwise, he will never learn to be responsible for the marriage.
Imagine if his wife behaves angry or his lover comes to the door If you want to say something, he knows how to choose.
Unfortunately, whether it is a gentle wife or a pungent third party, he can clearly see the weakness and unreliability of men. Think about it carefully, in the face of conflict, They will always choose the more labor-saving and easier way naturally.
If a woman does not give him a chance to avoid problems, he naturally has to learn to take responsibility. If a woman takes the initiative to stand up and finish it off for him, he is naturally happy to hide behind and sit back.
This kind of mentality is like a child who made a mischief. If his parents scolded loudly, he would feel at ease. After all, I have already been punished.
In the same way, after many men cheat, if their wife becomes particularly emotional, he will not feel the anger and sadness of his wife more easily because of this, but will feel that she has scolded me, so I will That's right.
People have the instinct to protect themselves, and self-rationalization after making mistakes is one of them. The same is true for women. This is human nature.
What's more, when he wants to give up an extramarital affair, he will deliberately let his wife know and let her clean up the mess.
The Sea King in "Thirty Only" played this trick.
Every time I want to break up, I just play and disappear, and then let the woman who is most tolerant of him come forward and end it.
This is like a child who has made a mistake outside, and he does not apologize, but instead waits for his mother to stand up and make compensation for him.
As you can imagine, can such a child grow up? Will it reflect? No, he still can't help but walks on the edge of making mistakes again and again. This kind of stimulation is addictive, and he doesn't know to be responsible for himself until he has suffered a big loss.
Unfortunately, if someone keeps finishing for him, he will never have such a chance.
Think about it, Wang Mouwen’s wife stood up to speak for her husband,Isn't it a typical "protecting the calf" behavior?
In this triangulation of two women and one man, people who should have jumped out to calm the dispute have become bystanders. It is obviously a marriage of two people, but it has become a battle of one person. This shows one thing. In modern marriages, some men are still "emperors".
This kind of people never feel that there is nothing wrong with half-heartedness. If you have to say it wrong, the fault is that you haven't done a good job of confidentiality measures.
What's even more incredible is that even if a man is suspected of committing a crime, his wife can still open one eye and close another. This kind of blind love and tolerance has long surpassed the definition of "protecting the calf", but it is really dangerous.
Finally, I still hope that this status quo can be changed, and I hope that women can stay awake at all times.
.-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-