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Text: Guxi
Illustration: from the Internet
Xiao Zhang recently broke up with his girlfriend. The breakup is not the meaning of two people, but the meaning of his parents, because the parents feel that the gap between the two people is really too big. Xiao Zhang and his girlfriend met in college. Although the two belong to different colleges, they both work in the student union, so they have been in contact with each other for more time and frequency.
The four years of college life made the relationship between the two get better and better. Just when the two were planning their life after graduation, Xiao Zhang's parents strongly interfered in the relationship between the two, and through various means , let Xiao Zhang break up with his girlfriend. At the beginning of
, Xiao Zhang was very resistant to the interference of his parents. He believed that as long as two people had a good relationship, they would definitely be happy. But his parents said that the gap between the two is too great, and the biggest one is that the family gap between the two is very large.
Xiao Zhang's family is very wealthy. There is a family business in the family. The girlfriend of Xiao Zhang's family is very poor. It is for this reason that Xiao Zhang's parents are firmly opposed to Xiao Zhang and his girlfriend being together, thinking that the gap in family conditions between the two is too great. After marriage, various problems may arise. At first, Xiao Zhang did not understand the statement of his parents at all.
Seeing that it was impossible to persuade their son, Xiao Zhang's parents directly found Xiao Zhang's girlfriend, and after explaining the reason to Xiao Zhang's girlfriend, they persuaded her to break up with Xiao Zhang.In the end, Xiao Zhang and his girlfriend, who could not withstand the pressure of the family, chose to break up.
Many people may think that if the relationship between two people is particularly good, are these so-called material conditions really that important? Love and compatibility with each other, which of the two aspects is more important?
What conditions do two people need to get married in order to be considered suitable for each other? In fact, the so-called appropriate mainly refers to three aspects of the appropriate.
First of all, the first aspect of the suitability is the suitability of the hardware conditions. For example, the material conditions that everyone knows, as well as some other conditions, the material conditions are simply boiled down to house, money, good jobs, etc., while some other conditions, such as education, age, etc., all belong to hardware category of conditions.
For example, if a 17 or 18-year-old girl insists on marrying an uncle in her 30s or 40s, I believe most families are reluctant, because they feel that the hardware conditions between the two are too far apart. . Of course, this phenomenon also exists in society, but after all, it is a minority.
These so-called hardware conditions considered by many families are mainly based on whether two people have a common topic after they get married, whether they have the same living environment, etc., which are more important for the happiness of the young couple in the future. Many people may think that as long as the relationship between two people is good, these conditions do not matter.
In fact, there are conditions like this, but most parents are still unwilling to take the risk that their children are too far apart from each other, which will leave an uncertain factor in the marriage, and this uncertain factor may be When will it explode.
Therefore, when many parents choose objects for their children, first and foremost, they must pay attention to some hardware conditions of the other party. Whether it is in terms of work, education, age, or other aspects, they all need to communicate with themselves. Pay attention to being in the right position to be happy.
The second condition is the condition after two people are combined into a husband and wife. If the first condition is a precondition for marriage, then this condition is a postcondition after marriage.
For example, after marriage, where do the two choose to live, how many children they will have, or what kind of plans they have for future family development, etc. These are things that need to be discussed after marriage. The content, if the two people have huge differences in this regard, it will also make the two people unable to get together in the end.
For example, there are many long-distance relationships in the society today, and it can be said that long-distance relationships can finally come together. It is so big that if the two finally get together, it will be nothing more than one party giving up his own career. Such a matter of giving up the interests of one party to protect the interests of the other party will inevitably lead to some contradictions.
The question of whether or not to have children after marriage is also a very real issue. There are many young men and women who may be thinking of their own careers. Some people may have children after a few years, and some people It is possible to have children immediately after getting married. In fact, there are many other conditions like this and many other conditions mentioned here, just to name a few examples.
Among these conditions, what is more important is whether the husband and wife have better development plans for the future after they get married. These various development plans are also the most important factors affecting the sustainability of the marriage and family.
The two conditions mentioned above are external conditions. The third condition is also the most important one, that is, whether the personalities between the two parties are suitable.
About whether the character is suitable, in fact, the most important thing is to fully understand whether you need the other half of the character before marriage. Because during love and marriage, the way two people get along will be very different. During love, more emphasis is placed on impromptu feelings, while after marriage, long-term feelings are required, which is somewhat similar to warm water. Like cooking frogs, it is necessary to slowly in the process of marriage, whether two people feel suitable for each other, especially in terms of personality, is the most important factor affecting their happy marriage.
Some people may say that since the relationship between the two people is good before marriage, is it the right personality? In fact, this is only one aspect of it. The so-called suitable personality not only requires a good relationship between two people, but also requires two people to form complementary personalities in the process of work and life. Only complementary personalities can be a perfect marriage. Base.
The most basic conditions of these three aspects are actually the most important conditions for a happy family. Of course, in addition to these most basic conditions, the relationship between husband and wife should also be particularly good, if the conditions are suitable for each other. , After getting along slowly, the relationship will become better and better.
But if you simply rely on feelings, and the above conditions are not suitable for each other, then the feelings will gradually be worn down in the married life, and the families that do not eventually lose emotional support will also become fragmented.
Maybe we shouldn't be so realistic about marriage, but the lessons that reality has brought us require us to think more about marriage. This is why Xiao Zhang's parents tried their best to prevent Xiao Zhang from marrying his girlfriend, because his parents have experienced a lot of things. Although they cannot fully represent the results of all couples, many people still choose In case.
Therefore, when facing the major issue of marriage, we should consider more issues. Of course, it is impossible to meet all the conditions, but we should try to meet as many conditions as possible. Because only in this way can a family have greater security and become happy, and these conditions are also the most important foundation for a couple to go on happily and happily for a long time.
Of course, we cannot instill more material conditions into marriage, but we should also think more about some realistic things about marriage, because only in this way can the husband and wife become more To feel the beauty of life for a long time is a variety of conditions that most happy families have. Therefore, in the face of marriage, love and fit are equally important.
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Topic of the day: "Do you think it's right"?
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