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Text: Shili
Illustration: From the Internet
Xiao Chen is a very well-behaved girl, whether in front of her girlfriends or other classmates, Xiao Chen can always give someone a kind Feeling quiet. Yes, Xiao Chen is the kind of dream girl we often say. Many boys said that when they first met Xiao Chen, they always had an unnatural urge to protect her! However, such a well-behaved and pleasant Xiao Chen is always hurt in love. No matter who he talks with, she will always be abandoned, and she will always be hurt.
So why is this? In fact, in real life, there are a lot of girls like Xiao Chen. Although they are very kind and cute, as long as it involves love, it is easy to get them all over.
1. Why do you always get hurt, in fact, it’s just because you care too much about how others treat you
Do you remember "Humble Dan"? Yes, Zhu Dan was ridiculed by Li Dan as "the humble Dan" after revealing the mode of getting along with her husband in a variety show. Zhu Dan was also ridiculed by many netizens for such a thing. But what people did not expect was that Zhu Dan's life and career were not greatly affected by this, so I have to say that Zhu Dan is very lucky.
Obviously, Zhu Dan is lucky, not only because of the kindness of netizens, but also because her husband Zhou Yiwei is not a scumbag, but just a slightly arrogant man, so Zhu Dan's emotions are pretty good.
At the same time, there is another reason for Zhu Dan’s luck, that is, Zhu Dan is a very strong hearted person. Therefore, even though Zhou Yiwei was not caring enough when she was with her, she would not make trouble without reason, let alone It will lead to intense quarrels and conflicts with each other.
I believe that after this, you can already understand that "Humble Dan" is not really humble.On the contrary, Zhu Dan is still a very self-conscious person, so even in front of the arrogant Yi Wei, she can find her own happiness. why? The reason is that she never cared about other people's opinions, otherwise she would not tell her how to get along with Monday in a variety show, and her attitude was so relaxed.
And for those women who are very easy to get hurt in love, what are the reasons why they always get themselves into various misfortunes? It must be that they care too much about other people's opinions, so that it is easy to fall into various negative emotions because of the way and attitude of others towards themselves.
To give a very simple example, for example, you are like Zhu Dan. During your pregnancy, you find that your husband did not take care of you in all possible ways, and even cooked you only once during your entire pregnancy. So how will you treat your husband later? Obviously, many women think that such a man is not worthy of love, that they are too unworthy to marry such a man, and even fall into excessive sadness and pain.
However, Zhu Dan's approach is contrary to most women, because she did not feel wronged at all, but was moved by the only meal her husband had ever cooked for herself.
Of course, this is not what Zhou Yiwei did is correct. In fact, as a responsible man, he should really treat his wife better. However, for Zhu Dan, her approach is even more commendable, because she never cared about the ways and attitudes of others towards herself, and was always able to decide her own mood independently and was always able to take responsibility for her own emotions.
So, if you in real life can be like Zhu Dan, then there is no doubt that you will become happier and love life more and more in the future.
2. How to become a woman who is not hurt by love
There is a story like this in Buddhism. The master has a very precious orchid and he takes care of it every day.One day the master is going to go away. Before leaving, he told the little novice to take care of the orchid carefully. The little novice nodded vigorously and said that he would take care of the orchid according to the master's instructions.
However, in the end, the little novice monk still did not complete the task assigned by the master. Instead, he broke the flower plate of the orchid and the whole orchid withered. Reluctantly, the little novice monk had to kneel in front of the master to express repentance after the master came back.
However, what the little novice monk did not expect was that the master did not punish him, but rather lightly told the little novice to be careful in doing things in the future.
Faced with this result, the little novice monk was very puzzled, so he asked the master: "Master, don't you love your orchid? Why are you not angry at all?". The master replied: "I don't plant flowers to be angry."
I don't know what you think after reading this story? I believe that in such a story, you can definitely see Zhu Dan. Zhu Dan loves Yiweiwei very much, and it is not to be angry to be with Yiweiwei, so even though she only ate the rice cooked by Yiweiwei once during Zhu Dan's pregnancy, she was very happy.
If you agree with such a statement, then you will definitely find that we are not qualified to use the three words "humble pill" to describe Zhu Dan. Instead, we should learn from her refined temperament.
Why? In Zhu Dan's eyes, Zhou Yiwei is the "orchid" in the hands of the master. This is where Zhu Dan's powerful secret lies!
So, if you really want to become stronger today, you must also learn from Zhu Dan. That is to say, the reason why you love others is definitely not to be angry. Therefore, although the person you love does not love you as you think, even if the other party does not hold you in the palm of your hand, as long as the other party’s heart With you, willing to be with you, and not taking the initiative to bring you harm, then what reason do you have to be angry?
In fact, it is not very difficult to do this.
The famous psychologist Adler once put forward a very famous theory,That is the subject theory. The general idea is that we must separate ourselves from others. That is to say, we only need to be responsible for ourselves and we only need to do our own things; how others treat us is other people’s things, we Just need to be a complete self.
How do you understand it? Take love as an example. If you love someone, you can use any way to be good to the other person. If the other person can positively give back to you and be able to treat you as good as you are to them, this is naturally a very happy and sweet thing. Things. But if the other party doesn't actively give back to you, or even ignores your contribution, it doesn't matter, it's another person's business, and it has nothing to do with you.
Obviously, this is what Zhu Dan did. If you can do it, then there is no doubt that from now on, you have touched the threshold of happiness, and you will definitely live more calmly and happily from now on .
3. People only live once, you have to live for yourself
If there is really such a person in this world, it is completely in line with your image of your future lover, are you willing to do it for him? To give everything?
If your answer is yes, then I'm sorry, the happiness you want may never come.
Why? Because there will never be such a person in this world, just like the master’s orchid, we can take care of such an orchid, and at the same time, such an orchid is under our careful care, if it really can Blooming will indeed be very beautiful. But the world is unpredictable. No matter how you care for such an orchid, it may die halfway, so how can you be in the mood to wait for the ultimate happiness?
So, love is the same, although you may really meet the person who is truly worthy of love, you can use your way to pay, but there is absolutely no need to pay for each other, and even if you finally Did not pay off,That's a normal thing, there is no need to be sad about it.
So, as a woman, please remember that there is only one life that belongs to you. You only need to live for yourself. There is no one in this world worthy of your sadness for them, because they are just the one you cultivate The pot is just an "orchid", you can plant another pot if it is withered.
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Today’s topic: "Do you think it is right"?
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