In the long river of life, being betrayed by the loved ones is one of the most painful experiences.
Teacher Mu: Hello, Mr.
, I’m very presumptuous to leave you a message. At this moment, I was following the river running through the city, looking at the gorgeous urban night view, crying alone, and the urge to commit suicide even flashed through my mind.
My husband cheated on him and filed for divorce. I chose the custody of the child at the cost of giving up most of the property that should be divided.
I only have the smallest house in my house to live in, and I have some savings in my hand. But the reality is: I want to raise my children independently and face life independently.
Originally, I also had a bachelor's degree, and my original family was considered a middle-aged family. I married my husband as an older single woman at the age of 32. The child is only 5 years old this year.
The people around me can only give me painless comfort. Even if my parents can at most comfort me a few words, they will sigh more.
Although in this marriage, I am the party that is absolutely hurt, and I am really hurt too deeply.
I think you can give me some guidance, or give me some guidance for my future.
Reply:
When you love your partner deeply, you expose your weakness and warmth without any hesitation, but what you get is that the other party’s cold dagger pierces into your heart viciously.
can not hurt?
I believe you are not the only one who suffers this kind of pain, so I will share it with you.
01. You should be glad, not despair,
I hope that you will not be betrayed this time and fall into despair of life, fear and pessimism about marriage.
To a certain extent, you should be glad, even thanks to the unfaithful person, thank him: he exposed his true face early, before completely ruining your life.
If this happens when you are fifty, it will be really dangerous. Basically, your life is really ruined at that time.
people will never avoid being trapped in their lives. Just like when we were in our twenties, we were stabbed in the back when we were not in the world. If we recall it, it is actually no big deal.
Although you are not a young and beautiful little girl now, a thirty-seven-year-old woman should still have the most mature and charming years.
Never label yourself, be deeply involved in the nonsense of what others say, "single mother", "older women have no market", and "this life is over".
Let me be relieved, just treat it as a painful life lesson. Take this opportunity to think about human nature and make yourself smarter and more mature.
In one sentence: You are not bad when you stick to it!
02. Regarding children, and ex-husband
I have always believed that in the matter of divorce, women are relatively more hurt.
Because you are women, the strength of motherhood and the weakness of women are undoubtedly revealed in this accident.
This is also one of the reasons why many unfaithful and unwilling men are fearless and act recklessly.
However, children are just hope, so your future life should be free from storms. . There is a flesh falling from your body around you. On a lonely night, it is warmer than any body!
I also have divorced people around me, but generally speaking, men will give the greatest financial contribution. After all, this is also my own child. What your ex-husband does is one of the men I hate and despise the most.
But now that's it, please remember:
You must let your ex-husband bear the corresponding responsibility, no matter what the method is!
I cheated on myself, filed for divorce, and the division of property was uneven, so how could it be so cheap?
You must use law, public opinion and other methods to make him pay the price.
tell you without hesitation: Even if you have to pay 10,000 yuan more, do you know how important this money is to you?
03. About the future
I think one of your anxiety sources is that you have no confidence in the future, that is, you are worried about how to support yourself and your children in the future. There is no need to worry like
.
I understand your anxiety about your career, but your situation is far from that bad.
A 37-year-old woman with a bachelor's degree lives in a first-tier city. It is not difficult for you to find a job that can maintain food and clothing.
But at this time you need to pay attention to : Never listen to the advice of some "kind" people who are "kind" with a successful attitude, and do stupid things like starting a business or direct sales, otherwise you will be miserable in the end.
Because of your current emotions, I really hope to get the covetousness of this gentle trap. You yearn for a sense of belonging and warmth, but these things are all deceptions.
, don’t be too ambitious, you have to go to a big company and become a leader or supervisor. I’m sorry, I’m not underestimating you.
Because a mother who has been busy with her family for a long time and has been out of business for many years, she cannot bear the competition in the mall.
Find a stable and regular work job. If you have enough wisdom to deal with it, you won’t put a lot of pressure on yourself.
04. Regarding second marriage
It is not easy for single mothers. Remember to love yourself, leave more time to take care of your children and work, exercise moderately, have a hobby, maintain your figure, and be healthy first. This is the premise of all development strategies .
In fact, marriage is part of social attributes. If you can meet a good marriage again, you must grasp it.
In my opinion, second-married women are more stable, intellectual, and knowledgeable than unmarried women of the same age, which will also make men who don’t mind the high-level cognition of the past more in love.
This is inseparable from your self-discipline in life, hard work and enterprising and pioneering.
You don’t have to close your heart after being hurt.
In my opinion, you can moderately increase the frequency of social interaction, and your mature mind already has common sense of communication skills.
I will even encourage you to broaden the "recipes" a little while on the premise of safe and normal social interaction, and it is not impossible to taste more male colors.
In this era, women should not be wronged, but you know this degree, taste and taste colors, and you can grasp it yourself.
If you encounter economic conditions and people with good character, the second spring of life is not a dream of nothingness.
05. Bloodline family, your backing
In this world, the only thing that cannot be left is the ties of bloodline.
You are like this to your children.
So at this time, your parents are definitely not as simple as what you said, "at most a few words of comfort".
Parents’ love for their adult children in their old age is deep. They all hope that you will live a better life. They are the only people in the world who care whether you are tired of flying.
At this time, your mother's home is your last moat. Communicate with your parents more to reassure them, and also give yourself a safe haven or castle.
Mu Yu firmly believes that life is full of scenery. As long as you do the above points well, divorce is just a relatively big "accident" in your life and cannot determine your life.
On the contrary, it is better to get rid of a bad fate, give you freedom, or meet someone who can be entrusted to create your life. What's wrong with it?
Life, besides life and death, are all scratches.
sincere blessings, the future is promising.
----Madison
