The day before yesterday, one of my childhood friends came and I gathered a few friends from my hometown to welcome him. My childhood friend is very capable. He worked hard from the countryside to Beijing. He is now the business manager of a listed company. He often goes to other places on planes and under high-speed trains. He either negotiates business or goes to study meetings, which is like a white-collar worker and a business elite in the city.
We haven't met in many years. Although there is a hometown group, he is busy with work and doesn't often go in to chat. During this meeting, although we were cheering and drinking at the dinner table, chatting about all kinds of interesting things when we were young, and even laughing loudly, I always felt that we were a little bit different. This kind of differentiation was manifested as we were talking, but we couldn't find a common topic and we always had to remain silent for a while. Fortunately, there are many people, and the small party ends without you knowing it.
After dinner, we sent him to the hotel to rest, and he insisted on letting us sit for a while before leaving. With the help of alcohol, we sat in his room for a long time, chatting around and around. When we parted, Lao Zhao, who had drunk a little too much, patted his hand and said: Although we brothers have not met for so long, we are gentlemen.
I heard this and was stunned for a moment: Are we really gentlemen?
"The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water" comes from "Zhuangzi". It describes the friendship between gentlemen, which is as indifferent as clear water, does not make fame and fortune, understands each other, does not demand, does not force, or is not jealous, and is as light as white water. Although they do not communicate frequently, they are also intimate with each other.
I don’t think so. I think although this sentence makes some sense, there must be very few people who can achieve gentlemen’s friendship.
In real life, most of the people who say this are just self-comfort.
Friendship is actually close and alienating. If the gap between the rich and the poor is too big, the degree of busyness and leisure is different, the environment in which they live is also very different. Even if they were once friendly, they will gradually become alienated. After all, the so-called old friends are those who are often together but are equal to each other.
I think a poor person can never be good friends with the rich. Because of the pain and helplessness of the poor, the rich will never understand it. Similarly, the poor can never guess or understand the thoughts and moods of rich people. Poverty limits people's imagination, and wealth can limit people's imagination. If you are not on the same channel, you cannot send the same radio wave .
A person who is often idle can never become good friends with someone who is always busy. Because of the leisurely and boredom of idle people, although busy people can associate and experience it, they are often so busy that they don’t have the opportunity to chat with him, don’t have the time to ask about his situation, and don’t have the opportunity to comfort him, busy people always have more important things waiting for them to solve, busy people are always unable to clone their bodies and hate that they cannot grow three heads and six arms. They hope that a day is not 24 hours, but 42 hours.
And idle people can't understand why busy people have so many things to do, and why are they always so busy?
Therefore, the friends of the poor are poor, and the friends of the rich are rich. Friends of idle people are idle people, and friends of busy people must be busy people too.
If one day one of them is poor and becomes poor, and the poor become rich, and the poor become rich; or idle people become busy, and busy people suddenly become idle, their ideas and practices will be completely different.
changes like this, they will add a few new friends, but they will inevitably lose their old friends.
We used to be good friends, but with the changes in the environment, our cognition is also changing. There is a big gap between us. This gap is the gap that affects our continued to become good friends in the future, so I think we are not gentlemen at all now.
