Sometimes, when we get along with others, we will easily lose a sense of proportion, and then our relationship will go beyond the boundaries.
If you stay in the state of being single, if friends of the opposite sex "cross the line", then the relationship between each other will develop in a good direction, because some people are moved but embarrassed Say it out, just wait for the other party to break through this layer of window paper, so "crossing the boundary" can break this layer of confinement.
But if one or both parties have a destination, then if you do not pay attention to the control of a sense of distance at this time, it will easily cause the relationship between friends to be unbalanced and then hurt innocent people.
Adults should think more rationally, so they should know more about what to do and what not to do, rather than letting their moods go as they please.
In a gender relationship, the standard for measuring friendship outside of marriage is to see whether the two people have a sense of boundaries.
Friendship that loses the sense of boundaries means "crossing the boundaries"
in the TV series " thirty only " Xu Huanshan and Lin Youyou were also friends at the beginning. They met when Xu Huanshan went on a business trip to Beijing. At that time, Xu Huanshan felt that Lin Youyou's ambiguousness and ignorance that had just entered society made him interested, and the atmosphere of chatting with each other was also good, so he began to feel good about it after a while.
Later, Lin Youyou resigned from Beijing and came to Xu Huanshan’s workplace. The communication between the two became more and more frequent, and Xu Huanshan’s wife was relatively strong, so he could not feel the presence in this marriage. It is urgently necessary to vent one's value needs, and Lin Youyou is a good place to rely on.
So, Xu Huanshan forgot that he already had a family and that he had a cute child, and he began a relationship that he shouldn't have.
Friendship is different from love. Friendship is when two people can help each other, or when they have unhappy things, they can talk to each other. However, they always keep a sense of distance between each other, and love is different. Love is the world of two people, it is two. Personal matter is that each other will bring you closer to another person.
The feelings between the opposite sex are based on goodwill. If you are not careful, you will develop in a different direction. If you lose your sense of boundaries at this time, then friendship will evolve into feelings that you shouldn't have.
The feelings outside of marriage are nothing more than "self-satisfied" companionship
Just like Xu Huanshan, he felt that he had no sense of existence in marriage because of the strength of Gu Jia , so he was a Lin with lower abilities than himself. When Youyou appeared by his side, he began this relationship that he shouldn't have almost without hesitation.
Logically speaking, if a friend of the opposite sex crosses the line, it means changing his mind in marriage, and changing his mind means not loving him. So if you don’t love him anymore, you can leave, but Xu Huanshan does not.
He never said anything to Lin Youyou about "I divorce and marry you", nor did he say anything like divorce to Gu Jia. Even when the story was revealed, Xu Huanshan immediately deleted Lin You Some contact information and repeatedly told Gu Jia that he would never contact Lin Youyou again in the future, begging Gu Jia for forgiveness.
From this we can see that all the feelings outside of marriage are just short-term freshness. The two have lived together for a long time, and the original passion has long disappeared, so, When a different relationship is about, it will surely awaken our long-closed hearts.
However, in the emotional world of adults, weighing the pros and cons, seeking benefits and avoiding harm is the most common operation. People know in their hearts what they have can minimize their losses, and what they lose will make them the greatest losses.
Host Dou Wentao When talking about marriage in " Roundtable ", he once said this: "The most terrifying thing about marriage is not the income gap between the two, but the distance is clearly living together but the distance is Becoming farther and farther away.”
In marriage, what makes it fall apart is not the sudden disasters, but the trivial matters in daily life, and then accumulate again and again until it is terminally ill and has no cure.
Good marriages often stay in the details
John ·Getman wrote in his book "Happy Marriage " and said this: "The secret to success in marriage is not to resolve conflicts, but to the daily relationship and devilish details. ”
In fact, no matter how happy a marriage is, it will enter a burnout period. The marriage originally looked like a car. It will definitely be damaged during the driving process. What we need to do is to constantly maintain it , make it tough, instead of thinking about changing it when something goes wrong.
Therefore, we should automatically keep a distance from those feelings that are free from marriage and look at the person who has always been by our side. Go and manage the beauty of two people together.
