Recently, there is a word "pua" on the Internet that is very popular. What is "pua"? This term seems to be excessive and demonized. It seems that only cheating for money and sex, or even threatening life, is the kind of mental control called "pua".
Many people think that this is too far away from me. In fact, "pua" is not just those, violations of the law!
also includes the unpleasant things you encounter in your daily emotional life, which you think are normal, but they also belong to the category of "pua".
Those who are "pua", he can't seem to tell where the other party is wrong? But there is a situation where it has been suppressed, monitored, and controlled for a long time. It put a lot of pressure on the victim's spirit!
may lead to depression, Stockholm, severe cases will be obedient. I wanted to escape but couldn't escape. So, what are the basic performances of "pua"?
First: Does he severely suppress you?
In real life, you are obviously very beautiful, excellent, and have a good performance in work and school.
In the eyes of outsiders, you are very good, but from the perspective of your contacts, you often receive some negative comments, and where he denies you, it is precisely where you have a high degree of self-recognition .
For example, you are beautiful, but your object will find your shortcomings. He said: Although you are beautiful, it would be better if you were taller.
listen sharply, there is no problem, after careful aftertaste, I found that these two sentences have two meanings:
1, he denied your height;
2, you are taller Even better, it will make you feel that he likes taller girls, which makes you feel crisis.
This example shows that the purpose of his suppression is to make you self-doubt, become unconfident, and he is more likely to take the initiative.
Second: See if he monitors your actions?
For example, before you go out, he will ask you: "Where are you going? Who are you looking for?" It is normal to find one. But what will "pua" your people do?
He will ask you to explain and ask you to make a guarantee. When you go out, you should always report your itinerary to him and tell him your situation at the moment.
At the same time, he will also call you and send video calls to check posts to see what you are doing?
Many girls will mistakenly think that this is because boys care about their specific performance very much.
However, if this happens, it will only make the other party even worse. Serious "pua" will also worry that you will be seduced by others in the company, so you are not allowed to go to work.
Third: Does the other party make undivided demands in the name of "love"?
For example, he requires you to tell him your mobile phone number, otherwise, you have a secret to hide him! He will say to you: "between lovers, there should be no secrets!" At the same time, he will also ask you to delete some boys' phone calls or WeChat.
If you do not delete, there will be a problem between you. His behavior, invisible, will isolate you from your friends.
makes you isolated, and every time he proposes such a non-discriminatory behavior, his reason is: "I love you!" Or threaten you directly, if you don't do this, you just don't love me!
encountered this situation,What should I do if I want to get rid of it?
1. Learn to adjust yourself!
You have to learn to put the feelings of yourself first, not the feelings of the other person.
I know that many children with well-educated families will habitually take the feelings of others and their evaluations of themselves as important when they grow up.
When you did this when you were a child, teachers and parents would especially like you. If you grow up and put this "feeling" on your emotions, then you are a silly girl.
You will be easily exploited by the other party, so you have to put your own feelings first!
makes you uncomfortable, your first reaction, don't find the reason from yourself, learn to respect your feelings. Listen to your own inner feelings, not to please and blame yourself.
2: Learn to say "no" bravely!
As long as you make yourself uncomfortable, it seems that something is wrong, and you can’t explain it, this situation is mostly problematic. At this time, you have to be brave and say "no" at the first time!
Because only you say "no" when facing threats and suppression for the first time, that is the most useful, because the other party will feel that you are not a "soft persimmon".
Next, he will not have any other actions. Sometimes, forbearance is a breeding ground for "pua".
3: Learn to use external forces!
When you want to leave him and he restricts your personal freedom, you have to notify your family members and call the police in time! If you don't do this, you can't stop his aggressive behavior.
facing "pua",You have to use the most cruel means to face him, not to escape, nor to expect that the other party will take the initiative to get better, and do not explain to the other party that he just loves me.
No matter how good your lover and relationship are, they can’t take over you. This is just a failed relationship, and it’s not your fault!
Your self-deception and patience and kindness will only make things more difficult to end. Learn to remember these "channels", friends, family and society. You have to know that no matter what, you are It is worth having a better life.
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