When my daughter was in elementary school, the parents of four of our students (two boys and two girls) were members of the family committee, and the children had a very good time.
We live close to each other, so is separated by , our four families will meet for dinner or play together, mothers become good girlfriends, and fathers become good friends.
We have never made clear regulations, but everyone naturally and tacitly takes turns to treat guests. When going out to play and eat, no one cares about the quality of the meal, and how much you pay is to do what you can, just to be happy.
In a blink of an eye, the children graduated from elementary school and entered junior high school, their studies became tighter, so our party time was relatively reduced.
Inadvertently, the four children all graduated from junior high school. To celebrate the children's entrance into their ideal high school, we had another party before the beginning of school in September (that is, last night). Another girl had something to do and didn’t come last night. .
After dinner, the parents stayed in the private room to chat, and the daughter and two other boys went to the mall to play by themselves.
After nine o'clock, when the children came back, we would break the meeting and take our children home.
As soon as I got into the taxi with my daughter, I asked her what items did she go out to play today, and who paid for it?
The daughter said that they went to the video game city to play for a long time, and it was paid by male student A, which was about 200 yuan.
I saw my daughter holding Starbucks coffee in her hand, and I asked her who paid for the coffee? The daughter said it was male classmate B.
I said, did you spend any money?
My daughter said, I didn't spend any money.
Before I had time to speak, the taxi driver laughed. He praised my daughter: "Little girl, you are still smart! Know that boys pay the bill!"
I immediately said, "This is not right!"
I asked my daughter, did you bring money?
She said to bring it (before going out today,I specially gave her cash, and she also brought her own pocket money).
Did I say that my mother said that when you go out to play with friends, you have to take turns to pay, and you can't always let others pay?
The daughter returned to me, she said.
I continue to ask, why didn’t you pay?
My daughter explained, it’s not that I don’t pay, but we only consume these two items. Both of them are rushing to pay. Next time I will remember to pay first.
These two boys are also well educated by their parents. They always encourage their sons to take the initiative to pay. Although they are young, they are already polite gentlemen.
Naturally, I also hope that my daughter will be polite and courteous, instead of being a selfish ghost who only covets small bargains.
I said yes, then you have to remember that next time you must pay the bill first, and the friendship that pays in turn can last.
The taxi driver smiled embarrassedly after hearing what I said, "So you teach your children this way?"
Perhaps in his consciousness, he wants to "take advantage of the advantage, and take advantage of the opportunity." .
Because of this, he can only be an ordinary taxi driver.
I’m not saying that taxi drivers are not good. Our relatives also work as taxi drivers. They make money from their own labor, which is pretty good.
It's just that there are some people in this society who always live with the mentality of taking advantage of everything.
After getting off the bus, my daughter asked me why I must let her and others pay the bill in turn?
I said, look at our four parents, why can we be good friends after being together for nine years?
Because we don't care about each other and understand the rules of interpersonal communication, we get along harmoniously.
asked her to take turns to pay with her friends mainly because of the following three reasons:
1. Fairness
The classmates are also friends with deep friendship. Fairness can also make friendships last longer.
Regardless of boys and girls, everyone is a student at this stage, using their parents' money. If one person pays for a long time, it will inevitably increase the financial pressure on his parents.
After graduation, everyone makes money on their own, and it is normal labor, and they will not say who is inferior or superior, so everyone takes turns to pay, which reflects a kind of fairness in interpersonal communication.
2. Don't owe favors
Take turns to pay the bills. Basically, everyone pays off the favors quickly and does not owe favors. They are psychologically balanced and get along more peacefully and naturally.
Otherwise, if you invite me today, I may often remember, when will I pay back the favor?
Or one or two people always pay for the bill, and other people do not pay, but instead form a party of people who do not pay.
So if you pay once, I will pay once. Everyone takes turns. If you don’t owe favors, there will be no psychological burden in the relationship.
III. Reflecting friendship
Every time friends get together and take turns paying, you do not take advantage of me, nor do I take advantage of you. There is no conflict of interest between each other, it is pure friendship reflect.
Everyone is still willing to come out and get together, indicating that they all recognize each other as human beings and value this friendship.
This kind of relatively fair communication and exchange can better reflect true friendship.
takes turns to pay, and those who do not value friendship so much or who simply want to eat white food will automatically withdraw.
In interpersonal communication, spending money for others is the most basic sincerity. If you violate this rule, you will be sentenced sooner or later!
So, never teach children to take advantage of others!
I am teacher Lei, the coach of Xueba, and I have been in the education industry for many years.The first-hand family education theory and the second-hand study method to help children improve their academic performance and help parents solve educational problems.
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