1. Talking about the death of the old monk Jinghui
In June 2013, I got the news that the old monk Jinghui passed away on April 20. I felt very sudden at that time, because in my impression, he was in good health and had good energy. Why did you leave early? Yes, the word "advance" was in my subconscious mind at that time.
The old monk Jinghui is one of the teachers I really deserve to miss since I was a child. We didn't meet often, but once in a while, I had the opportunity to listen to the teachings alone. The last time we met was in 2007 at the Sizu Temple in Hubei Province, and we had no direct contact for six years. During this period, I missed him constantly and thought about going to see him almost every year, but in the end it never happened. The reason for this is that I have always had the idea that there will be many opportunities in the future. Now this opportunity is like a dream, gone forever.
This is fine! It shows that I don’t understand him on this issue and I can’t communicate with him. Well, I still need to grow in this area.
After a period of recollection, precipitation, and experience, I feel that he freely chose that time to pass away. He walked with wisdom and dignity.
Some disciples felt sad for his passing. If it's for him, I don't think it's necessary. We should believe him. He thinks that he has completed his mission in this world and has gone to the "Elysium" first. We should be happy. He set an example in the face of death.
I have read some articles commemorating him, expressing feelings of "fate is unpredictable", "sad", etc., but my feelings are different. My feeling is that I have communicated with Mingyao and a few other seniors, and they also feel the same. Whenever we have negative emotions, these are our own.
Most people's attitude towards death is to prolong time as much as possible at all costs. When the time comes, they will give slings and infusions... I don't think it is necessary. ——Behind this attitude is the fear of death. If there was no fear of death, there would be no need to do this.
Traditional Chinese culture emphasizes "a good death". very good! A "good death" is the last great blessing in life.
"Good death" is a summary of our entire life. As for whether it is a new beginning, let's wait until the end.
How should we have a good death?
At least you have the right to make your own decisions, right? Just like one of the revelations given to us by the old monk Jinghui: Just leave, just be free and easy.
So, what can we rely on?
2. The revelation of Jerome Frank
It is very enlightening to read Irving and Aaron ’s ideological biography "Meeting People in the Deepest Heart of Life" written by Jucelin. There is this paragraph at the end of the book:
In 2005, Irving and I went to see Jerome Frank, Irving's mentor and friend, who lived in a nursing home not far from my home in Baltimore. Over the years we visited him individually and together. As he grew older, his body gradually weakened. Even as his body and mind continued to deteriorate, Jerry, as Jerome was nicknamed, always wore a suit and tie and maintained his professorial demeanor. “Tell me what you do now,” Jerry often asked Owen when we visited. They would then have a fascinating conversation about Owen's work and the books Jerry was reading during that time (my character would usually just sit there, smile, and enjoy the warm camaraderie between the two of them. Of course , I don’t know Jerry as well as Irving, nor have I known him for as long as Irving). Jerry is not wearing a suit during this visit, and, after a few moments, we begin to realize that his mental decline has progressed considerably. In fact, we soon discovered that he had no idea who we were.I felt embarrassed and didn't know what to do, so I let Owen take on the challenge of having this conversation. He tried several topics to talk to Jerry and found that Jerry could also remember some people from the distant past, and they had some conversations about these people. But then Irving's genius began to shine through in this difficult conversation when he asked kindly and affectionately: "Jerry, for you to sit here and talk to someone you're not sure who it is, what's the point? How does it feel?" He is always able to focus on the current experience! Jerry understood what he was saying and responded to the concern expressed in his question: "I like the company," he said. "You know, it's not that bad. I wake up every day and see I went to the green trees and flowers outside the window, and I was happy to see them. The situation was not that bad." (Irving Yalom, " Meeting People in the Deepest Heart of Life," translated by Wang Xuefu et al., p. 146)
In Discovering Hierro After Jerome Frank had lost his memory and could not even recognize himself, the question asked by Owen Yalom was very real and appropriate, and Jerome Frank's answer was also very wonderful. At that moment, they Not only are the minds connected, but the inspiration is shining, which fully demonstrates the meaning of life:
"For you, what would it be like to sit here and talk to people you are not sure who they are?"
"I like it. This companionship, you know, it's not that bad. I wake up every day and see the green trees and flowers outside my window and I'm happy to see them. It's not that bad."
For Jerome Frank, he There is still clear awareness, and he still has inner beauty and vitality. His life still makes sense, including telling us these feelings and inspiring us.
Jack Kornfield, the famous Buddhist psychology master, wrote in "The Wisdom of Mind" that one of his friends, Harrison Hoblitzell, suffered from Alzheimer's disease when he was 60 years old. He was determined to use his illness as a "ground of practice" and "even if his memory and identity were lost, he still had a kind heart to offer to the world. ... But one night, he found himself standing in a retreat group In front of him, he forgot who he was and why he was standing there. So he simply began to confess his experience out loud and attentively: 'Blank mind, nervousness, fear, body tension, embarrassment, calmness, curiosity, tension, calmness, relaxation, Empty mind, lovely feeling, warmer, less trembling, still uncertain.' After speaking this for several minutes, it was all he could do. He paused, rested quietly, and bowed to the audience. The audience stood up and applauded Praising the apprentice for his courage on the occasion. As many have said 'This is one of the best teachings I have ever heard'. At one point Hoblitzel even transformed Alzheimer's state into freedom." (Jack Kornfield, "The Wisdom of Mind", page 157)
Hobrizell suffered from Alzheimer's disease. After losing his memory and identity, he was still able to "provide a kind heart to the world." It is precious information. Contains rich inspiration. What exactly is this "mind" "providing"? What allowed him to express his feelings after forgetting who he was? All this shows that there is another "I" behind him. ——Whenever there is clear awareness, it means that the aware "I" still exists. This aware "I" is our "observer self", "true self", and "big self". Let it be decided when we leave. Of course, not everyone has a clear "I".
This "I", if it is clear to a certain extent, should be the "soul".
Only when the "soul" is intact can it decide independently whether and when to leave.
3. Thinking of Teacher Pan He
It was at the beginning of 2013 that I met Teacher Pan He again in Guangzhou. Pan He is a famous Chinese sculptor.
In Guangzhou Academy of Fine Arts , I walked into the dormitory where Teacher Pan lived. There were some changes, but not much. During 1993 and 1994, we were here many times and talked late into the night. He talked about the legendary stories of his life and some of the things that were most close to his heart, including his unforgettable love. I was very touched at that time and wrote and published several articles. Later, we kept in touch occasionally.
In 2013, he was nearly 90 years old. During that meeting, I felt that his body and reactions were still fine, but his memory was failing. He looked at me and I said, "I'm Xu Jinsheng." He looked at me and said, "I can't remember." I told some of my situation and our time together, but he still didn't remember my name. But he knew that I was someone he once knew. He talks a lot, and if you ask a question, he will talk without stopping.
Due to the topic, he read to me a poem he wrote when he was 80 years old (in 2005).
I asked him to write it down. He found a piece of paper, then wrote the poem on it and gave it to me. Poetry cloud:
"Eighty years have passed in the blink of an eye,
The world has become more and more prosperous,
Only when you are old can you realize the sadness and anger of disciples,
If you can be crazy, you can live a day."
After watching Irving Yaron's interview, I began to reflect on that. Why didn't I think of asking Pan He this question:
"For you, how do you feel now that you often talk with people you are not sure who they are, including me?"
I remembered a conversation with him before. This was already after I published my interview with him.
At that time, I told another friend about his critical views. Unexpectedly, his reaction was very big, which surprised me.
It should be said that the relationship between me and teacher Pan He at that time had not reached the level of Irving and his teacher Frank, and the atmosphere was enough to ask such questions.
I have always liked Teacher Pan He’s sculpture "Self-Improvement". But "self-improvement" is not yet the ultimate destination for people living in the world. There is no fixed ultimate destination for people living in the world. The only best state is to constantly transcend themselves and live out their true self. The so-called "big self" is the self that can constantly update its understanding of "Tao" and "ultimate truth".
The sculpture "Self-Improvement" turns out to be a woman. I met Pan He in 1991 and visited his studio. I liked it as soon as I saw it. I stood behind the sculpture and took a photo. Later, this photo was included in my book "Living Your Best". Once when I attended Hellinger's workshop, I gave this book to a Hong Kong friend in the audience. Unexpectedly, Mrs. Hellinger happened to be nearby. She took this book from a friend in Hong Kong and looked through it. She happened to find this photo. She liked it very much, so she pointed at the photo and asked: Is that you behind the sculpture? I nodded and said yes. Seeing her state, she seemed to be interested in the content of the book, but the book was in Chinese. Remembering that I happened to have the English version of "My Mysterious Experience", I gave her this article. Unexpectedly, when she read this article, she became even more excited, her eyes brightened, and asked: Would you like to show Hellinger this article? I took this article with me because I was actually looking for an opportunity to give it to Hellinger. It’s so wonderful! I said that not only did I want to show it to Mr. Hellinger, but I also wanted to interview him. Thus, my first interview with Mr. Hellinger came about effortlessly. Mrs. Hellinger was present during the first interview.
Beautiful works of art can always inspire re-creation and inspiration. This work of Pan He's encounter with a master of psychology made me fortunate to have face-to-face communication with the master of psychology...
4. The hell I saw On May 20 this year, I was in Changzhou Host macaroni workshops.In the morning, in order to let the students understand their subconscious mind, I played the orchestral "Don't Dream" by teacher Gao Weijie . This is a very powerful work. When you first listen to it, you will usually feel very uncomfortable, and it will evoke all kinds of negative emotions and produce various horrific or distorted images. Sometimes when this orchestral music is played, I listen carefully. This time I listened carefully again. I found myself walking into a hell-like place. This hell, at first glance, looks a bit like visiting the Seven Star Rocks in Guilin many years ago. There are various little ghosts, ghosts and snake gods inside, either dancing or making various strange expressions, or remaining silent. And when I walked to a place, I saw Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva sitting on a rock and resting. He seemed calm but a little tired. Then, the scene changed again. Why was I sitting there? 5. Are you afraid of death? What does the above image mean to me? Hell is not that scary. Waiting for Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva to save you. Or, you are Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva. What is fear of death? The fear of death is, in a large sense, the fear of hell. If you are not afraid of hell, why should you be afraid of death? Whether you are afraid of death or not is not the same thing as whether you die well. To be able to die well is to at least be able to accept death. Those who die well will definitely not be afraid of death when they die. But if you are not afraid of death, you may not be able to die well. A good death is more difficult than not fearing death. Not afraid of death, he often bites his teeth and his blood surges, which seems to do it. But a good death requires practice, especially spiritual practice. Leave some room for discussion and do not rule out other situations. 6. How to do spiritual practice? The "soul" is immortal. What is cultivation? What is spiritual practice? There are various understandings of spirituality. Here, I understand it this way: spiritual practice is to communicate with the "Tao" and "ultimate". I understand that the first step in spiritual practice is to have this understanding subject. And this subject has been lost by many people due to various reasons. The first step is to retrieve it. I mentioned earlier that "soul" can be understood as the aware "I", "I as the observer", "true self", "big self", etc. I have been organizing "Holistic Psychology and Spiritual Growth Workshops" for a long time. Many people come to participate because of various worries. A common problem among them is that their souls have not been recovered. A prominent manifestation is: having no independent opinion in doing things, looking forward and backward, worrying about gains and losses, being confused, or on the contrary: being reckless and arbitrary, having uncontrollable impulses, and being irritable... Take the first step to make a case, make it real, and gradually regain your soul. Once you regain your soul, you will gradually form an independent personality and become more and more able to communicate with others. Including facing the ultimate problem: facing death. Let this "true self" and "bigger self" decide when we leave. Of course, if there is not yet this clear "I". Although it has always existed, it has been lost, lost, or in other words, it has been blinded, obscured... Retrieve it, consolidate it, develop it! If we don’t act now, when will we wait? How to do spiritual practice? To sum up, it is a simple two steps: . The first step is to realize what the soul is. That is, be in touch with yourself. This is also a process of practicing awareness and increasing awareness. The second step is to establish a relationship with the Tao and the ultimate. That is, communicating with the Tao and the ultimate. Before the soul is found, this kind of communication is difficult to carry out. Fortunately, holistic psychology has its own clear methods and techniques for achieving these two steps.
If spiritual practice becomes popular, not only will everyone stop resisting and isolating death, but they will also eliminate the fear of death. Then, when everyone faces death, it’s not like they don’t accept it. Even human customs and habits will change. When someone leaves, everyone holds a farewell party together. The music played will not express sorrow...
(To be continued)
