And the child does fulfill his mission, but it’s okay if he doesn’t speak, but it’s a thunderous death as soon as he speaks. A friend said: I took my child to the wedding during the holidays. During this period, I met a friend who I hadn't contacted for a long time. My friend dre

C Mom CC Parents

During the growth process of children, we always teach children to be honest and encourage them to tell the truth.

And the child does fulfill his mission, but it’s okay if he doesn’t speak, but it’s a thunderous degree as soon as he speaks.

A friend said: I took my child to the wedding during the holidays. During this period, I met a friend who I hadn't contacted for a long time. My friend dressed very beautifully and fashionablely. I said to the child, "Baby, call me aunt, look how beautiful the aunt is dressed today." My friend was also very enthusiastic when he saw the child, and squatted down and greeted the child, "Hello, kid." As a result, guess what, the child covered his mouth and said, "Mom, aunt's mouth smells so smelly." It made everyone embarrassed. At that time, I could only bite the bullet and apologize to my friend, and then pretended to be angry and said to the child, "What's the smell? You said early in the morning that I have something to eat, and everyone will definitely taste after breakfast."

After listening to it, everyone also felt bitter.

Tong Yan Wuji's lethality is really too great.

After all, my mother is already very big, how old is it? It's almost thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty. How old are

still cute! ?

Only those who have breasts can call you aunt, you don’t have breasts yet, so I call you sister...

Really, our parents have been petrified.

We encourage truth because real language is the most powerful.

But real words can also bring embarrassment and dilemma. What should we do when facing the "truth" of children?

1. Never do these two things!

1. Force your child to apologize

Many times, the words of children are really embarrassing, and they will offend others unintentionally. At this time, I believe that no one wants to be regarded as "bear parents".

So, many people's first reaction is to quickly pull the child to apologize.

"Sorry, the child can't speak, apologize to uncle\auntie"

Or in order to calm the other party's anger, accuse the child:

"It's rude for you to speak like this."

Before, I met a child pointing at a middle-aged man in a shirt opposite and asked: "The person in front of the mother has such a big belly. Does he have a baby in his belly?" The other party immediately became impatient after hearing this. Seeing this, the mother immediately scolded the child sternly: "Don't talk nonsense, how can a boy have a baby?" But the child was also very aggrieved when he was scolded suddenly, "Then why is his belly so big? It's bigger than Yuanyuan's mother's belly, but Yuanyuan's mother's belly is bigger because she has a baby." mother became more and more embarrassed, and her eyes were full of them. Don't say anything, there is no reason, can I say it's because I'm too fat? "Why are you so rude? Apologize quickly, otherwise I will be angry." Finally, the child apologized under pressure from adults.

There are also many conflicts between adults caused by one or two words of "children's words" in society.

• Hot children are "irrespectful" and say the wrong words, and the parents don't care.
• Some people shouldn't be petty with such a young child.

But on the other hand, most of the children are frightened and confused, not knowing what they have done wrong.

In that case, pulling the child out to apologize or scolding is the easiest and most effective way to deal with it.

Therefore, many times, adults deny, criticize, and even force children to apologize for their own face.

It is not right or wrong that the children are not wrong. They just told the truth, although some truths are not accepted by adults.

So, I won’t force my child to apologize, but I will apologize for the child.

"Sorry, the child has no malicious intentions, sorry"

2. Sit and watch and don't care

Although we don't force the child to apologize, we don't care.

If you let it go, the child might say something amazing.

Once, I participated in a group event and a child who looked like he was in his 10s still spoke rudely.

The first thing he said when he met someone was "You are so worn so badly, can your family be so poor that you can't afford a pair of pants?"

When teaming up for a team, there was a fat girl who disliked him and said, "Mom, she is too fat, the fat man will lower our team's performance."

His mother quickly smoothed out the situation and said "childish words are not scrupulous". Children like

usually have a bad attitude towards speaking to adults. When someone sits in his seat, he will say unceremoniously, "You get up, this is mine."

If you say that 3 or 4-year-old children will tell the truth, everyone will think they are cute. But if you are 8 or 9 years old and don’t tell the truth, it means you are a naughty child who speaks without restraint and speaks without proper restraint.

And Child Yan Wuji is definitely not a child’s gold medal for disclaimer.

We always say that children are saplings, and if their parents don’t prune them, they will inevitably grow crooked.

Children will not grow up overnight, be sensible overnight, and go from being rude to being polite and kind overnight.

Therefore, we need to teach children the art of speaking.

The degree of a child’s speech is exactly the embodiment of his tutoring.

If a child speaks without being polite or even rude, it is better to reflect on whether there is no guidance in this regard?

2. How to guide children to speak?

1. Teach children to think from the perspective of others

Many times, children's words are not malicious, they just don't know that some "truth" will make others uncomfortable.

Take the example of a colleague at the beginning of the article. The child said that his friend's mouth was stinky. How to deal with this situation in

?

First of all, does not need to ask children to apologize for children under 5 or 6 years old.

Adults can apologize to their friends as soon as possible. Children are indeed more sensitive to the taste and often say that our mouths are smelly.

Secondly, educate your children in private and cannot say everything when facing others, especially those who are not very familiar with them.

There are some words that we need to think about in our hearts. If I were TA, would I be happy to hear these words?

• For example, when you were in kindergarten, did you once stop pulling your trousers in your pocket?
• If someone tells you, "You smell so smelly, are you pulling your pants pocket?" Are you also very unhappy, feeling shy and angry?
• For example, when you visit someone else's house, you think the dinner is not delicious, and you just say "it's so bad". Although it expresses your own point of view, it ignores the sincerity of others in the process of preparing food for you seriously.
• For example, when you encounter someone with defects or scars, you think "he is so strange and scary", you express your own feelings, but others don't want this, and your words will hurt him.

The food that has been hard-working is despised and said to be "uneasy".

is born with disability and cannot play like others. He is also said to be "scary and strange". Is it true that I feel sad when I think about it?

So, If you don’t like it yourself, others won’t like it.

We must let children know that language has weight and can even hurt people.

When children try to understand other people's feelings, they can better understand the weight of language.

Let the child say something to him, keep a little awe, and slowly he will learn to "be careful in his words".

2. Teach children the ability to distinguish occasions

In addition to learning to think from the perspective of others, we also need to teach children to distinguish different groups or occasions.

① Regarding people who are unfamiliar with their appearance, dress, physical condition, etc., they do not comment on these things casually

, especially other people's privacy, do not say it casually, and do not express their own opinions casually.

Because height, fat and thin, appearance, skin color, etc. are not something that individuals can choose, so try not to evaluate other people's appearance characteristics. Even if you think you are very pertinent, others may not like it.

For example, there is a big brother in the community who always calls you "Little Black Girl". You are unhappy. Although that brother thinks that you are indeed not as innocent as him, he doesn't like it either.

②Faced with special groups, such as disabled people, or a little "special" people

Before, there was a classmate in CC kindergarten with a birthmark on his face. Some naughty children in the class would call her "ugly".

For this reason, the teacher also sent us parents a WeChat message, asking their children not to make fun of her, nor to stare at her curiously.

At that time, I took that opportunity to have a serious conversation with CC.

What should I do if I encounter some "special" people on the road?

Don’t whisper or look too much. Even if you are curious, you should put away our gaze.

Because, for them, too much attention is also a kind of harm.

③Some special occasions

For example, weddings, birthday parties, or visiting other people's homes, etc., we must also pay attention to our own language.

Although it is human freedom, there are many occasions in China, and many people are taboo about some words.

For example, when you get married, you have to ask for a lottery, say good things, etc.

These do not need to be achieved overnight, but we parents need to teach our children slowly in life, take them to experience and learn respect.

Because of different occasions, changes in language, posture, intonation, etc. for parents during their speech are rich learning materials for their children.

Especially when I go to special new occasions, I will spend two minutes talking to my children about the rules. Because these occasions are familiar to us adults, but are unfamiliar to children. .

We cannot ask children to behave appropriately out of thin air, so we must inform you in advance.

In the long run, you may spend a little more time communicating, but you will definitely have a child who behaves well.

C Mom said: Everyone always says that the current network environment is in chaos. If you accidentally say a wrong sentence, you may be chased and scolded. Of course, I have also experienced it deeply in the years I have been working in self-media. I still remember that the 18-year-old B station blogger Yinai, who was raped by the internet and committed suicide by jumping off a building and quitting himself by being raped online, initially just wanted to demand friendship and comfort on the Internet, but he didn't want to commit suicide because of a random ID he changed, "I can't enter the first 3" (a certain game) was raped for three consecutive months. Many strange netizens kept yelling, cursing and slandering her until they completely destroyed this girl who should have a wonderful life. If everyone can realize the weight of language since childhood, a casual word can not only warm others, but also hurt or even destroy others, think twice before saying something hurtful. I think this society will have much less harm.So, let’s start with us, teaches children to be respectful of language and be a good person to speak. There are many things you can disagree with, dislike, or even reject, but you must learn to respect.