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Alzheimer's Disease is the most familiar and common dementia among the people, also known as the "eraser of memory". According to statistics in 2017, Alzheimer's disease and other dementia are the fifth leading cause of death in our country. At present, the prevalence rate of Alzheimer's disease in my country's population aged 60 and above is as high as 5.7%, with nearly 10 million patients, ranking first in the world. The International Alzheimer's Disease Association (ADI) has determined that September is "World Alzheimer's Disease Month" every year, and September 21 is " World Alzheimer's Disease Day ".
What is Alzheimer's disease?
It is a brain degenerative disease with slow onset and progressive development , the most common form of dementia, accounting for more than 80% of all dementia. Alzheimer's disease is mainly manifested in the deterioration of acquired cognitive abilities (including memory, observation, imagination, calculation ability, etc.), which damages daily life ability and leads to the inability to live, study, and work independently. Among them, memory loss is the earliest and most important manifestation of cognitive impairment in Alzheimer's disease. Therefore, it is particularly vividly called, with an eraser in the back of the mind, gradually erasing memory.
"I don't know you anymore, but I still love you"
movie "Mom" tells the story of an elderly 85-year-old mother taking care of her 65-year-old daughter who suffers from Alzheimer's disease alone. In the movie, my daughter interprets to everyone what symptoms and dilemmas will appear if she suffers from Alzheimer's disease: cognitive decline, behavioral decline, and mental capriciousness. As a result, she will also have symptoms such as hyperactivity, delusion, hallucination, depression, anxiety, and irritability. She is even unable to walk and is in danger of life.
Care for Alzheimer's patients has become a heavy topic! The skill requirements for nursing staff are very high and even require 24 hours of uninterrupted care. This is definitely not an easy task for ordinary family members.
Be a mother for mom
What kind of test will it be if an elderly person in the family suffers from Alzheimer's disease?
"Being a Mom for Mom" records the entire companionship process of the author Lu Xiaoya from the beginning of her mother's cognitive symptoms to her death.
From the time her mother was diagnosed with cognitive disease in the summer of 2007 to her mother's death in the winter of 2019, her life was disrupted by 55-year-old Lu Xiaoya who was planning her retirement arrangements at the time. She spent 12 years saying "the longest farewell" to her mother. In the day-to-day care, Lu Xiaoya, who believed that she had "had never felt much maternal love" since childhood, established an intimate relationship with her mother that she had never had before.
As the author said: "Many things in life come uninvited, and you cannot think about how to deal with them in advance. Only when it happens will you understand that in the days ahead, your life will no longer move forward as you expect."
Alzheimer's disease around me: My son takes care of his mother
Around me, there is a Alzheimer's disease patient. It is different from the story of the movie "Mom" and Teacher Lu Xiaoya. This old mother, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease , is carefully taken care of by her son.
The son has always felt guilty and became aware of it when his mother’s memory is not good. He took his mother to the hospital for examination as soon as possible, which may delay the speed of memory decline.
has been taking care of her mother full-time since 2019, and this year is the fourth year. The old mother is now 82 years old. My son, who is nearly 50 years old, has given his mother full patience and love!
Memory decline. The elderly will not remember what they said just now, nor will they remember the meal just now, and it is very likely that they still remember their son’s name in the last second, but after a while, they will not remember it.
Son sharing: I have learned to communicate dynamically in the past few years after taking care of my mother.
He used "learning" to describe it. Not interacting with your mother based on your own thoughts or state. Instead, live according to her state.
When you wake up in the morning, your mother will have a long struggle. I originally agreed to go out for breakfast together, but 40 minutes passed and my son was hungry, but he wouldn't be angry either. One day I found out that my mother refused to get out of bed, but she turned out to be folding towels, and she would be happy in an instant. I am happy that my mother still remembers to fold towels neatly.
One day, I found that my mother was tearing a tissue, and my son would be very happy. For patients with Alzheimer's disease, they will tear tissues or orchestrate tissues, or hide tissues or small pieces of cloth in the wardrobe. In the past two years, my mother degenerated very quickly, and the behavior of tearing tissues disappeared after a while. A year later, I saw my mother tearing up tissues and singing. In the son's opinion, the mother's condition has a "reversal", so she will be particularly pleased and happy.
I once asked him, Mom needs your help in taking a shower?
He admitted that at the beginning, it was a process that required mutual adaptation for him or his mother. Although my mother suffers from Alzheimer's disease, it is natural self-protection that she does not want to be touched by her body. As a man, it really takes time and psychology to break through the "concept" to wipe the mother's body. "When I was a child, my mother helped me take a bath, and now I will help her take a bath." At this moment, in my son's heart, my mother is an "old child who needs care."
When I was in the car, my mother held my son's hand tightly
In order to better take care of my mother, he set up a small bed in his mother's room. He could find out in time what special circumstances would happen to my mother at night. The son said that the mother tried shock and saw that her whole body was cold and her face turned pale, she was really scared. After really experiencing shock, he reminded himself to take care of him more carefully.
Although she doesn’t remember who I am, as long as she is there, I will be the child of a mother!
Before my mother gets sick, she doesn’t think that mother is important. Instead, I feel that your life is the most important thing. Work, get married, have children, be a father, and be busy with your little family. You spend less than 7 days a year with your mother and less than 10 times a year. The year my father passed away, his marriage also failed, and his mother's "memory" became more and more serious.
went to the hospital for examination. The doctor told me that my mother had Alzheimer's disease , and also told me to be mentally prepared for 24 hours of care. Since you cannot take care of your children, you should fulfill your father's responsibilities (after divorce, your son and ex-wife), then fulfill your son's responsibilities and take care of your mother.
took care of my mother for the past 4 years and lived almost "inseparable" with her mother. I remember that before the age of 3, she was also attached to her parents like this. In this way, he couldn't help but remember the memory of his mother taking care of herself when she was a child. My childhood memories are like fragments, and they are spoken from my mother from time to time, just like a password, reminding me of my naughty appearance when I was a child and my mother's beautiful appearance. Although she doesn't remember who I am, as long as she is there, I will be the child of a mother!
mother wears her own pearl headdress
Whether it is the movie "Mom", or Lu Xiaoya's personal experience and record of "Be a Mom for Mom", or the above-mentioned experience of his son accompanying his mother, or in our lives, there are many family members accompanying him Alzheimer's disease , all tell us the same fact: disease is very serious, but not scary! As long as we have enough patience, as long as we are willing to stop, face the changes with an accepting attitude, and face them with love, no matter what state of life is, it will leave warmth because of love. Even awaken love in life. It turns out that every life has been loved!
Just like Teacher Lu Xiaoya shared, although her mother passed away, she still has the ability to love! Who said that she was not the feeling of taking care of her mother’s experience, understanding of life, and perception of love? Mom told her in this way: the essence of love!
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