This article was originally created by Tuanzi Mom Parenting. Personal comments and sharing are welcome.
The child has heard the voice of his mother since he was in his mother’s belly. After he was born, he listened to his parents talking and grew up. Every word of the parents’ words is printed on In his mind.
Therefore, how parents speak is also an education, do not underestimate the power of language.
How hurt is the mantra of parents?
once saw such a question, have you ever been hurt by what your parents said unintentionally? The people who commented below are actually not a few children, they are all adults and , even over 30 or 40 years old.
Even if they grow up, get married and have their own children, they still have a deep impression of what they said to their parents when they were young.
For example, parents say: "You are a counselor "! Since then he has never been better.
Dad said: I can’t have any prospects in this life, I still don’t believe that my has advantages.
One of the words that impressed me the most is that my parents have been brainwashing me over the years, making me believe that my is really a puddle of mud and , and I can never get on the wall.
Parents have the responsibility to educate their children, yes, but there are some things they can’t say when facing their children. The
research shows that family factors are one of the causes of depression in children and adolescents, and parents’ emotional changes are an important factor.
Parents want to motivate their children with harsh words, or like to suppress education. The original purpose is to want their children to be better, but the harm it brings to their children is hard to compensate.
The results of parents who don’t speak well
It is mentioned in the book "Poisoned Parents" that children will not distinguish between facts and jokes. He will believe the words of their parents about themselves, and turn these words into themselves Concept.
We keep saying that we love our children, but we talk to him the most unpleasant things, showing indifferent, hideous, and ugly faces. Children's experiences like this from an early age will inevitably be negatively affected.
1) Children with extreme personality
Children who are often suppressed, humiliated, and disdainful by their parents, or become particularly sensitive to inferiority, , cowardly and timid, , afraid of contact with others, or strong resistance with their parents, becomes special Rebellious.
Children with extreme personalities are difficult to educate, which hinders their own growth in the future, leaving a psychological shadow of being yelled at by their parents.
2) As parents "want"
Parents often criticize their children's shortcomings, the purpose is to make him correct, but parents always do like to talk irony, hopes that he will become strong, blurted out " useless ", want to let the child Study hard, but you are stupid to tell .
But when parents say these things, the child feels humiliated the first time. Z4z has no merit. Z5z does not have the motivation to correct and improve. The so-called education will be counterproductive.
leads to a phenomenon in which children develop more and more like the parents criticized, and they really become what the parents say.
3) Alienation and breakdown of parent-child relationship
No matter how many outsiders affirm themselves, it is not as good as a parent's approval. The affirmation and support that children get from their parents will give him a strong inner motivation.
When a child feels that he is not recognized by his parents, or even rejected by his parents, he will begin to alienate his parents . If the parents speak fiercely, the parent-child relationship may be broken.
Parents’ educational concepts have a profound impact on their children.
language contains tremendous energy and can help solve emotional expression problems. ——Jacobsson
When children listen to their parents when they are young, they feel that people should communicate like this before, and parents should educate their children in this way, even if they don’t like being treated like this.
When he becomes a parent, he will teach in the same wayIn the process of raising children, also suffers from , but it is difficult to find ways to improve, because he has never seen better education methods.
Tuanzi mother said in her heart:
parents always suppress bad emotions in front of outsiders, relax completely after returning home, blurt out words that hurt their children, or vent their emotions to their children , and children are not allowed to talk back.
Children with strong self-esteem will also have emotions, and parents need to communicate patiently and tenderly. When parents criticize their children, they should speak these words to themselves first, and see if they can accept them, then they will not be so impulsive.
