[Ne Lao Speaking Tutor] Gambling, alcohol addiction, laziness, etc., addictive personality is hopeless?

The concept of addictive personality is still controversial in psychology.

In my life, I accept this concept, and I personally think that some people’s personality is indeed an addictive personality.

The so-called addictive personality refers to a small number of people who are strongly dependent on bad habits such as gambling, playing mobile phones, alcohol and drugs, and have no self-control. According to some scholars, people with addictive personality lack self-confidence, strong dependence and prone to birth. Sullen, empty, violent, etc.

Not long ago, a friend sent me a text message and asked me for advice. The text message is as follows:

to the teacher! My husband is more addicted than others in gambling, playing games, playing Douyin, and drinking. I want to ask if he is addictive personality? He is 32 years old this year. When he was a child, his mother often used rough methods to educate him. After marriage, I was very miserable. He slowly fell into gambling again for more than six years. You said, is there any way to make him change?

My answer is as follows: The concept of

addictive personality has not been unanimously approved by psychologists. However, I can say with certainty: behaviors like your husband’s are in line with the so-called addictive personality characteristics and have an addictive price. It is very difficult for people with addictive personality characteristics to change some of their addictive hobbies. Moreover, people with addictive personality tend to be disgusted with other people's persuasion and may have a rebellious attitude. Especially when the gambling mentality and behavior are produced, it is very bad. Such people can no longer work hard to get rich, but are extremely hypocritical and lazy, hoping to get rich overnight or make money by gambling. Most of these people are a prodigal. Curable. The

consultant asked disappointedly: Is

still saved? Can you help me?

My answer is:

I can’t help you. I deal with people like this a lot. No one has changed because of my help. I admit that I am a failure! However, it is not impossible to change. First, if this person still has human nature, he has found in his conscience that he is willing to change himself, and he is cruel to stay away from fox friends, away from gambling places, refrain from spending more time with his family at home, willing to work hard, it is not good to go ahead, take it slowly, it is complete Can be changed; second, if a psychologist is willing to intervene and patiently help him with treatment, it can also be changed. Of course, the inner strength derived from his ego comes first.

Well, in reality, there are many young people with addictive personality! Who made these people develop their addictive personality?

Parents are everyone responsible. Many parents have no sense of rules, do not pay attention to the cultivation of habit, and do not pay attention to the children’s learning. When they find their children’s problems, they open their eyes and close their eyes. They even take care of the children’s mistakes and protect them. The child has developed an addictive personality, and the parents are the culprit!

is flooded with electronic products, and children play with mobile phones prematurely and too freely; parents are busy with work and neglected to manage; inter-generational education is indulgence, allowing their children to be self-willed; a minority of parents’ ideological deviations or parents’ ignorance are irresponsible; Disharmony between husband and wife in some families, domestic violence; left-behind children lack of discipline; children from single-parent families lack love and security, etc., are the soil for addictive personality. Therefore, every person with addictive personality is a scourge. , Is also a victim, it is very sad!

In order to help people with addictive personality, it is recommended that psychosocial consulting agencies pay more attention to this group of people, actively explore the correction methods of addictive personality, and help people with addictive personality get rid of "addiction" as soon as possible.

As an individual with addictive personality characteristics, whether it is a male or a female, self-help is always the most important. You must use your conscience, think about your family, children, and your future, and be determined to change yourself. Use super self-control to get yourself out of hypocrisy, out of gambling, out of the circle of fox and dog friends, out of laziness, and live like a human Create a new self!

As young moms and dads, if your children already have some addictive characteristics, such as addicted to games, addicted to vibrato, addicted to inconsistent friends, addicted to gambling, etc., you must be vigilant and high.Pay attention, be willing to spend time, work hard, accompany children, have patience and perseverance, help children develop healthy hobbies, and stay away from bad habits. Moreover, this process is painful and long. It cannot be done overnight. Parents and friends should do a good job in the long term. The mental preparation for fighting, if you wait until the child is 18 years old, and then work hard, it is basically impossible, the child’s life will be ruined, and the parents’ old age life will be full of disappointment and pain. Such children may grow up and rebuild. A painful family, this painful family, if there is no man or woman who is strong and tolerant enough, it is destined to cultivate an addictive next generation, a vicious circle, when will it be the head?