When taking your baby out to play, you are often asked these questions:
"Is this your eldest or second?"
"Are you planning to give birth to another one?"
"There is only one? If you want to give birth, you should give birth to it quickly. Let's take care of it while it's not big."
I am actually quite conflicted in the face of these words from my aunt and neighbors. You said you have a second child. Nowadays, raising children is not as good as before. They are all nude.
This delicate thing is not necessary to spend money? Snacks, clothes, and toys are all small money, and then spent on interests and education. Which one is not a big expense?
Moreover, two children cannot favor one and the other, everything must be doubled. If parents don’t work harder, they will not be able to keep up with their children’s speed of “swalking gold”.
But if only one is born, some problems can almost be foreseen in the future.
30 years later, the following differences will occur between "second child" and "only child" families, which is realistic and direct.
1: For children, the feelings will be different
family belongs to only children and has siblings from the family. In terms of feelings, they are really different.
①The love you get is different
I have asked many only children around me: "Do you want a younger brother or sister?" Most of their answers are: "Don't want it."
Why?
Because I am afraid that my younger brother and sister will snatch his toys and will share the love of my parents.
Although the palms and backs of hands are the same, no matter how many children we will try to be fair and give as much love. But the boss will feel that all my love belongs to me was separated by my younger brother and sister.
At this time, they will inevitably feel a little disappointed and even a little angry. This leads to the fact that those who have two children in the family often fight and do not remember the "brother-society relationship".
In order to get more love from parents, it is inevitable that children will "compare" them. Like my sister's family, if you buy snacks, you need double servings of everything, not more or less. Otherwise, they will say you are unfair.
is the same as buying clothes, shoes and socks. If you buy this, you have to buy it for that, even if that one can still be worn. Otherwise, they can keep saying that you are biased.
and only children are different. All the resources and love in the family were given to him alone. He has no "competitive pressure" and does not need to worry that someone will split his stuff.
However, compared with families with multiple children, they are still a little lonely because there is no one around them who can play and make trouble.
This feeling of loneliness may become more obvious when you grow up for 30 years.
When other people's brothers and sisters come to visit each other and say hello when they have something to do, the only child makes his own decisions about everything.
Some things in life and work can be complained to friends, but no one who is connected with blood can help.
So, it is different for only families and second-child families to receive the love of their parents or the love of their brothers and sisters.
②Only children will feel more stressed when they grow up
When parents get old, the responsibility for supporting them falls on the only children. Moreover, if there is something at home and you need to run around, there is only one child.
At this time, the child will inevitably feel stressed.
Like I watched " Xiaoshede " before, I felt deeply touched. Nan Li is the only daughter. Her mother fell and was paralyzed in bed, and it is difficult to find a reliable nanny.
Now, not only is there no one to pick up the child, but the mother also needs someone to take care of her. She and her husband thought about it over and over again, and had to ask for leave alone to come back to maintain the family's functioning.
When an only child grows up, if his parents encounter something, they will be very passive . On one side is work, on the other side are parents, and there is also a family to take care of. They will feel stressed and have no skills.
But there are many children and families different. If something happens to the family, the children will have more people and more power, and they will contribute money and work hard. The pressure is dispersed, and they will not be unable to do so.
③ Different flexibility in life
This flexibility is reflected during holidays.
If you are only children, it will become a big problem for who will go to the holidays. If the distribution is not good, there will inevitably be conflicts. Moreover, no matter who I go to, I feel that I have neglected my parents from another family.
But the second child family is different. If this one is not available, please ask that one to go back and see it frequently, so that your parents will not be too lonely.
2: For parents, the pressure is different
Many young parents dare not have a second child. The biggest reason is that they feel that the pressure is too great.
After all, raising children is not our era nowadays. Just eat and wear warmth. We raise children and hope that they can get the best, and we won’t work too hard in the future.
Based on this, if we want to raise a second child according to the boss's standards, the economic pressure will double, and we will feel unhappy.
just says that in another 30 years, when the child grows up, there will be a big gap between the parents of the only child and the second child family.
●The family atmosphere is different
After having a second child, the children will have their own children, and when a whole family gets together, it will be particularly lively. Especially on holidays, we pay attention to family reunion and lively.
But if there is only one child, it will inevitably appear deserted. Especially if the child has something to do, he cannot come back. Then we can only celebrate these holidays ourselves, which is no different from usual.
When you see the lively atmosphere in other people's homes and compare yourself with the deserted one's own home, you will inevitably feel a little lost and lonely.
●Worrying is different
I have several siblings, and my father is the one who is very worried. He was worried about being deceived, and he was deceived, and his grandchildren's safety, study, etc. He could not be idle for a day and was always worried. I was tired when I watched it.
But if there is only one child in the family, you don’t need to worry so much, just care about this one every day.
We raise only one child and second child. If you give birth to one, you only need to care about his body, study, psychology, etc. But if you have a second child, these worries will have to double, and sometimes you have to run back and forth for the two children.
●When we get old, we have different levels of peace of mind
For parents, no matter how old they are, they are just children in our eyes. Even though they each got married, they still felt that parents and children were always a family.
So, if we are only children, we will not be relieved, worried that when we grow old, he will be too lonely and have no brothers to rely on.
But even the elderly, we second-child families, think they will have brothers and sisters to accompany each other and will not be too cold.
Only birth and having a second child have caused conflicts among many young parents. It is difficult to give birth to one, and it is also difficult to give birth to two. It is really a dilemma.
I don’t know, would you consider having a second child? Why?
[Pictures are from the Internet, invade and delete]
I am Youzi's father, I have a "little devil" at home, I will grow up with her, if you like it, follow it~
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