Every parent always hopes that their children are well-behaved and sensible, and every teacher also hopes that their students can cooperate with education. But in fact, there are always endless problems among children that make teachers troubled their brains. How should
be disciplined so that children can accept it from the bottom of their hearts and effectively cultivate their good qualities?
01
Once watched an issue of " Super Speaker ". A speaker asked a question on the stage: "I got the second place in the exam and went home happily to tell my dad, guess what my dad said?"
As soon as he finished speaking, Chen Luyu in the judges' seat immediately replied: "Who is the first place?" Everyone in the audience laughed.
Is this the experience of many people? No matter how good you do, it is difficult to hear your parents’ affirmation and praise. Parents always say “you can be better”.
Even if they are actually very proud of their children's grades, they still pretend not to care in front of their children and then put forward higher requirements.
In addition to high requirements, they also have "fire eyes" and can always pay attention to children's shortcomings and constantly tell them how bad these shortcomings are.
If a child does something wrong, they will not hesitate to use various belittlement and insulting words to let the child recognize his mistakes and shortcomings, and even fight when he is excited.
"You can't become a weapon without being carved. If you discipline your children, you must be strict." This is what parents with strict education often say.
However, many facts tell us that children who grow up under strict discipline without affirmative punishment often suffer from severe psychological trauma in , either very inferior or very rebellious.
I have seen children in elementary school who want to fight their parents with a knife because, for a long time, his father beats him whenever he encounters something. Children who grow up under stick education can only use sticks to solve problems.
I have also heard of an excellent girl who developed a cowardly personality under the suppression of her parents since she was a child. After getting married, she was bullied by her in-laws but dared not say that her parents were so angry that they regretted her. They had no choice but to be helpful.
02
Of course, there are many parents who feel sorry for their children, but some parents go to another extreme because of their love for their children - they are spoiled by their children without principles, and they are reluctant to discipline even if their children make mistakes.
There are many stories about naughty children on the Internet. What impressed me the most was a naughty child who was in elementary school. In order to verify whether he had a miscarriage, he deliberately hit a relative who was six months pregnant. Fortunately, the pregnant woman's sister-in-law opened it in time so that something would happen.
The sister-in-law of the pregnant woman was furious and beat the naughty child. This time, the naughty child's family did not educate her children, but criticized her sister-in-law and said that she should not be slut with the child.
It is said that there are naughty children because of their parents, but I have also seen many people who are more sensible in daily life, but when they encounter children's affairs, they will protect their shortcomings and blindly spoil the little emperor and princess at home.
In the past, there was an old neighbor who was very protective of his shortcomings. His child has been domineering since he was a child. When he was in the third grade of elementary school, he was beaten up after making fun of his classmate. Although it did not cause any harm, when the neighbor learned about it, he slapped the classmate twice and hit the child on the spot until something went wrong with the ear. After the incident of
, no one in the class played with his children anymore. His children became more and more extreme, and finally had to transfer to school.
Drumming the child is like harming the child. Under the spoiledness of parents, these children either become A Dou who cannot be helped or develop a self-centered willful personality.
No matter whether it is a strict or a spoiled parenting method, it cannot cultivate truly self-disciplined, responsible, and sunny and healthy children.
03
Except for those who have defects in their own personality, or who do not care about their children's lives or deaths, most parents who love their children are caused by their children's problems because they cannot grasp the "degree" of discipline.
Strict and arbitrary discipline usually lacks kindness, which will make the child at a loss or lip service; the arrogance and spoiling discipline lacks rules, which will make the child forgetful and arrogant.
So, how to grasp the "degree" of discipline children?
7 mothers, grandmothers or grandmothers of 20 children, outstanding psychologist and educator Jane Nelson provides a way of parenting that neither punishes nor indulges: positive discipline.
Positive discipline refers to the basis of mutual respect, taking kindness and firmness as the cornerstone, cultivating children's various life abilities and shaping children's relatively complete personality.
Be kind and firm are the most important methods of positive discipline.
Kindness means that parents treat their children with kindness and should make their children feel respect, love and care.
Parents should squat down, look straight with their children, and make a true connection with them in a respectful tone.
Firmness means that parents set rules and follow them without discounts, so that children can learn to self-discipline and not cross boundaries.
Firmness means that parents respect themselves and keep their promises without going back on their word.
When disciplined by children, kindness can offset the rebellion, resistance, and self-esteem caused by excessive firmness.
and firmness can offset the spoiledness, manipulation of parents, and being spoiled by being too kind.
Only in a kind and firm atmosphere can children develop self-discipline, sense of responsibility, cooperation and the ability to solve problems on their own.
and learn to benefit them for life and achieve good academic results.
The parents love their children, and the plan for them is far-reaching.
As parents, we must master the methods of positive discipline and discipline our children kindly and firmly, so that we can truly love and love our children.
(The picture is from the Internet, please delete if infringement.)
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