In education, be a father who is not absent
Original Xiaozhou also can Wang Songzhou 2022-10-06 07:00 Posted in Zhejiang
There is an interesting phenomenon. When the child was still very young, a father often said: The child kissed his mother, and I would cry when I took him. Then, the child is naturally given to the mother, and then the child gets closer and closer to the mother, and the father has fewer and fewer opportunities to take care of the child. But my father didn't seem to think seriously about why the child kissed his mother? Is it because I don’t have much time to spend with me? Do I often play with my phone even when I’m with me? Do I start looking for my mother when the child cries instead of trying to make the child happy? Does most nights mean that mothers sleep with their children, and fathers are socializing or working outside?
When the child is in school, the absence of father becomes more common. . More than 190% of the classes I have taught are mothers contacting the teacher to understand their children’s learning situation. It is rare for a few children to keep close contact with their fathers and teachers. has even passed six years, and I have never seen some children's fathers before.
We usually think that fathers work hard to support their families, so they don’t have time to manage their children, But what I see more is that mothers manage their children while working. There are more mothers who make career sacrifices for their children. For example, they originally had a good salary job, but the child had to pick up and drop off at school, so they changed to a job with a lower salary and free time to pick up and drop off at a child. But this is rare in the dad's group. The mother is responsible for changing children's clothes, the mother is responsible for three meals a day, and the mother is responsible for learning. My father was absent from his children's education.
Some father will say, no, I will take care of it at critical moments. For example, if he causes trouble in school, I will criticize him, if his grades drop, I will educate him. However, what children need is a companion, a guide on the road to growth, rather than a bad reviewer who usually starts to blame whenever they do something wrong.
There will be a father who will also say that I want to play and study with my children, but he doesn’t want me and calls me mom whenever I encounter something. This is caused by the father's failure to pay attention to the child in the early stage. Once the child is no longer dependent on you, you want to establish a good relationship with him, it will definitely take twelve minutes. It will definitely take some energy and time to establish your relationship with your child.
A 12-year study at Yale University in the United States found that The higher the father's participation in the child's growth process, the higher the IQ of the child, the better the grades, and the more successful he goes to society. The role of fathers in the growth of their children is irreplaceable. Let the child see his father's tenacity, courage and sense of responsibility. This is the first role model in his life, which will affect his child's life.
Some fathers always feel that I want to make a difference in my career and I want to ensure that I give my children good material conditions. But time never waits for others. is waiting for you to wait for you to finish your work. children may have dealt with one problem after another and spent a series of repeated boring times. At that time, they may fall in love with playing games, and may have their own caring partners. no longer needs you, and you will miss the most important time in their children's growth.
The importance of father participating in education is also reflected in balancing the relationship and atmosphere in the family. The growth of children is accompanied by various problems. If the mother is in charge of the child, the mother bears too much pressure and responsibility, and the emotions will inevitably be in a state of tension and anxiety. This anxiety will affect the entire family atmosphere and is also very likely to cause tension in the parent-child relationship. If the father participates, he can share this anxiety for his mother. Even if the matter cannot be solved perfectly, the mother will feel that someone will fight side by side with her, and her anxiety will be greatly reduced. And father's company will also bring a different experience to the child. Compared with the gentleness and meticulousness of the mother, father will give the child more thrilling and interesting experiences. Sometimes, even doing some "extraordinary" things together with the mother, which is also an unforgettable experience for the child to do forever.
In Family education , Parents are roles that no one can replace. Parents should try their best to participate in their children's education and companionship, and give their children a lovely and warm childhood.
