Do you have such feelings:
does not assist in the homework, the mother is kind and the son is filial; the first assist in the homework, the chaos is turbulent, and the blood pressure rises, and the headache is so angry that it is not a legend. It is already a difficult problem to tutor a child, and there are two more tutors. The older brother is in the third grade and the younger sister is in the second grade. The parents feel that they are going through the tribulation.
is followed by my mother's Hedong Lion Roar, which is simply too big. After getting angry, looking at the trembling brother and sister, my mother realized that she had not suppressed her temper and felt a little regretful in her heart: Why didn't she control herself?
This situation is really common in real life, but why can’t mothers suppress their anger? How can I change this situation?
This book "Emotional Insensitivity" translated by Japanese writers Tesan Kato, Yang Benming and Tang Erhao tells us that parents who are prone to "explosion" are actually all affected by the emotions of their original families. If parents don’t want their bad emotions to affect their children, they can only make behavioral changes.
Family is like a photocopier, parents are the original, and children are the copy. Some parents' behaviors will definitely affect their children. For example, parents' yelling and scolding will make the child shudder. Then in my life I think about how to avoid falling into the same life again.
But unfortunately, this fear will not disappear, this emotional memory will also affect yourself, and you will even take the same method to treat your children.
But how can we really make changes? Tesan Kato gave the answer, which allows you to truly master the insensitivity method, that is, how to keep you healthy physically and mentally when such things happen.
1. Learn to control your emotions and be emotionally stable parents
Neurological expert Seph Ledu once said: Everyone has a mechanism to learn fear. Although each family environment is very different, homework guidance and parenting are indeed common among all families. In order not to affect our next generation of these bad habits, we parents need to learn to control and manage our emotions.
For example, when you want to lose your temper with your child, choose to take a deep breath, adjust your emotions, and relieve your tense nerves. Of course, you can also adjust your own way of doing things. If two children have conflicts, they can try to communicate and resolve them by themselves, unless the child needs you to adjust.
2. Being a mature parent, don’t be too harsh on your children
Tizo Kato said: If parents are narcissist and children are kind by nature, they will easily be ensnared by their parents and are forced to play the role of a “compensating narcissist”. In this role, children will suffer varying degrees of harm, and this kind of harm is basically caused by the immaturity of parents.
This requires parents to be mature, and at the same time, don’t ask too much for their children. Sometimes it’s just that the method is wrong. If you change the teacher or the method, it may be much better. Maybe it’s just that the flowering period belongs to the child has not yet arrived, just wait quietly.
Of course, in the book "Emotional Insensitivity", we talk about emotional management from the four perspectives of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division of emotions. If you also have emotional problems that need to be solved, you might as well take a look. #Telebrity Creation Challenge##Mu Xi Reading Club##Emotional @Mu Zi Says
