When faced with children's resumption of school, parents are often nervous and anxious, and their anxiety depends on the degree of acceptance that their children may return to home. If parents have learned family education , they have a clearer understanding of their children's learning and have fully developed psychological construction, even if the child returns home and lie down, parents can still accept their children's current situation. At this time, parents will no longer show excessive anxiety. Of course, it is easy to do and difficult to do. For parents who have not studied systematically or have not been able to study for a long time, it is difficult to achieve such a good psychological state. If parents want to be unanticipated, there are two possible situations:
First, the child had tried to return to school many times before, but failed, so the parents gained a learned helplessness. There is no longer any hope for the child's resumption of school, and he is dissatisfied with thinking that "you can succeed, but you can't do it like this." At this time, parents generally no longer show strong anxiety symptoms like when their children first returned to school.
Second, parents believe that learning is their own business through learning family education, and parents should not interfere too much. If children can resume school, they will encourage them, and if they cannot resume school, they will accept them. Parents will no longer be anxious and will only be responsible for doing what their parents should do. Parents in this state can help their children successfully resume school.
So, in the face of children's resumption of school, the most important thing parents should do is to relieve their anxiety. Parents are a mirror for their children. If parents are anxious, the children will definitely feel the anxiety from their parents, which invisibly increases the pressure on their children. Then some parents will say, "I know not to be anxious, but I just can't do it!" Yes, it's not that easy to do. So what should I do? I think we can start from the following aspects:
First, systematic learning and family education.
Learning family education can help parents better understand their children, trust their children, and discover any highlights of their children. From the bottom of their hearts, they think that their children are excellent children, and they cannot give up their lives like this. The children’s current situation is only temporary and will come out sooner or later. Because the development law of man, nature and society is: when there is sunrise, there must be sunset; when there is darkness, there must be light; when there is climax, there must be lows... A person cannot be in darkness and lows for a long time, and there must be times when there are light and highs. When parents realize these, their anxiety will naturally be alleviated.
Second, perceive anxiety from the heart. When anxiety comes, we can realize it in four steps: (1) I realize that I have anxiety: "Oh, I'm starting to be anxious now!" (2) Dig deep into the source of anxiety: "Why am I anxious?" (Worry whether the child can go to school? Will the child return home? What should the child do if he encounters difficulties in school...) (3) Socrates question: "Is it real that the child cannot go to school? Is there any evidence to prove that the child can't go to school? Can't the child go to school? Why do I have to ask my child to go to school? Is it really for the child to ask to go to school when his child is in a bad condition? Will it cause disastrous consequences if his child can't go to school? "(4) Change the mind: "The worst result is that the child can't go to school and continue to lie flat at home. As long as I continue to understand, accept, encourage and appreciate the child, the child will come out sooner or later!"
Third, self-deprecating relaxation method. Have a self-deprecating conversation with oneself: "What's wrong with my child even if he doesn't go to school? Children are not necessarily worse than other children. They have many advantages, and there are children who are worse than mine..." But please remember that we can laugh at ourselves, but we must not give up on ourselves, let alone give up on our children.
