Yesterday, the eldest son of the family suddenly had an argument with his husband. The old father, who has always loved his daughter, pointed at his daughter and said, "You have the same temper as your mother."
I, who was originally joining in the fun and watching the battle, suddenly suffered a disaster. I was about to call my husband over and scold him. After thinking about it, it seemed that what he said made sense.
Every time my daughter is stubborn, she really looks like a copy of mine.
No wonder parenting experts often say that mothers determine the child’s personality~
The pictures in this article are from the Internet, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant to
. The children have a bad temper, and most of them are harmed by the mother?
Research has found that mothers are the most important guest in their children's life. The early emotional connection between mother and baby will determine the child's future psychological well-being and personality development.
After the child is within 6 months, a "symbiotic relationship" is established between mother and son
The child lives with his mother and needs the mother's careful care to meet his physiological needs for food and clothing, and to help the baby avoid external risks.
6 months to 3 years old, a "attachment relationship" needs to be established between mother and baby
This is a positive, affectionate emotional bond.
At this stage, mothers need to care for and care for their children, give them warmth and strength, and let them feel that they are loved. The world is trustworthy and safe. The establishment of an attachment relationship is the cornerstone of the healthy development of children's physical and mental health. Its smooth progress will directly affect the improvement of children's personality in their future growth process.
If we have a careful understanding of some social events , we can find that many people who have gone wrong or extremists when they grow up have problems with their mothers in childhood. is either ignored by their mothers or lived under the perverted control of their mothers since childhood.
these behaviors of mothers will affect the establishment of "attachment relationships", making children always live in panic, find it difficult to trust others, have too strong inner defense, and then produce bad behaviors, such as being unsociable and aggressive. And he has an introverted personality and a bad temper.
In addition, as the person who has been with your children for the longest time, your personality is often passed on to your children to some extent. If your mother has a bad temper and has a bad personality, don’t expect to raise a good-tempered baby.
The following types of mothers cannot raise promising children
The famous psychologist Sukhomlinsky put forward a point of view:
"The source and fundamental of children's moral development lies in the wisdom, emotions and inner passion of the mother. How a person becomes in his own moral development depends on what kind of mother there is."
From this sentence, we can find that a mother is the soul of a family, and your behavior hides the future of the child.
The following types of mothers cannot raise promising children, I hope you are not among them~
1. Mothers who often hit children
Many children more or less hit their mothers in childhood, especially girls, seem to be easily hit and denied by their mothers.
Psychologists analyzed that this may be because in family relationships, mothers are always in an oppressed position and do not have enough voice at home, so releases pressure by hitting children.
Another possibility is that mothers have lived in an environment that has been belittled and suppressed since childhood, so that their personality is full of aggressiveness. When educating children, they will unconsciously reveal their fangs and do not consider the other person's feelings at all.
In any case, the belittlement behaviors made by mothers on their children will leave a deep mark in the hearts of the children, making the children gradually become negative, inferior and sensitive, and their future social abilities may also be hindered.
2, mother with negative personality and indifferent emotions
. For some reason, many traditional Chinese mothers give people the image of "they don't seem to be truly happy for a day."
Mother-in-law, husband, and child seem to have timed all the energy and energy of a woman, making her a soulless body, and she is frowning and resentful at home every day.
However, your negative emotions actually make the children at a loss. They are like standing on the edge of a cliff. Every time you sigh, a gust of wind will blow from the opposite side, which may cause them to fall into the abyss at any time.
In addition, the numbness and indifference of mothers will also bring great psychological shadows to children, making it difficult for children to enter intimate relationships in the future. They are always worried that they will repeat their mother's tragic life and become like them.
Furthermore, children who grew up in a negative and indifferent family often have weak empathy for . They find it difficult to empathize with others , but they are extremely insecure and are prone to stimulation, and then do some bad behaviors.
3. Mothers who have too strong desire to control
mothers are often accompanied by moral kidnapping .
they" In the name of love, they use "self-sacrifice" to morally kidnap children, and the result is often both sides.
For mothers, they can't understand why my children still want to escape.
For children, mothers' desire to control often makes them breathless -
If they disobey their mothers, their conscience cannot be overcome, they always have "debts" and feel guilty of their mother's careful care. But if they follow the instructions, they feel betrayed themselves.
Two extreme emotions are always pulled back and forth, causing children to be depressed and overly anxious, which will have negative effects on life and study.
[Final summary]
There is a "butterfly effect" in psychology, which means that a butterfly flapping its wings in a certain place, and a tornado may form other places.
Mother's emotions and words and deeds are like this butterfly. Many times, a little bit of subtle matters may cause a tornado in the heart of the child, causing their world to be turbulent.
