Hello everyone, I am Tian Jing.
The withdrawal of a female graduate student caused an uproar across the entire network.
She was born in a mountain and was the first graduate student in the village. She just entered the top university in Beijing.
At this critical moment, she chose the latter among "school" and "family" : married a barber in her hometown, and took a leave of school to have a child.
Her inspirational life suddenly turned a big turn in the direction of her whereabouts.
"Golden Phoenix" flying out of the mountains
Girls are called Nanyi , ethnic minority Wa .
Nan Yi is not her real name. "Nan" means the daughter of a girl in the Wa language, while "Yi" refers to the second daughter.
Cangyuan County, Yunnan Province, where she was born and raised, just got rid of the title of a poor county in 2019.
In 2020, only 5 of the more than 700 college entrance examination candidates were able to get the first-tier line, and the first-tier rate of is less than 0.7% .
The remote village primary school where Nanyi once studied has not been found on the map yet.
She walked out of the mountains step by step through her own efforts. She first got admitted to Central University for Nationalities , and was admitted to graduate students from Academy of Social Sciences . achieved a reversal of her destiny with reading.
Not only that, she is also a fashion blogger and often shares unique makeup and wear videos.
Her family has also seen a broader world because of this.
When the graduate school report, Nan Yi used the first pot of gold he earned in his senior year to buy them airplane business class. This is the first time my family took a plane and the first time they have come to Beijing, which they have longed for.
They wore Wa ethnic costumes and took a photo in front of Tiananmen .
In May this year, she returned to her alma mater village primary school to inspire primary school and elementary school students:
"Reading may not necessarily increase wealth, but it can increase many opportunities, enrich people's cultivation, and allow us to live in a more decent way we like."
"Reading may not necessarily increase wealth, but it can increase many opportunities, enrich people's cultivation, and allow us to live in a more decent way we like."
In the eyes of most people, Nanyi is a phoenix flying out of the ravine, and has changed its destiny by studying.
The series of operations of taking a break, getting pregnant, and getting married are undoubtedly the collapse of inspirational idols.
She spent 20 years of hard work to live the life that many girls in the mountains dream of, but she chose to give up day and night.
Regarding the overwhelming debate, Nan Yi emphasized that "retirement from school is not to give up his studies", but his decision after communicating with the school teachers and parents of both parties.
She will return to school after giving birth, and she plans to study for a doctorate degree after graduation.
After having a child, she will be more clear about her goals and direction in life, and will have the power to continue to struggle, and will also avoid the concerns of not being able to have children when she is old in the future.
As for the consideration of the time point of marriage and having children, Nan Yi gave the explanation:
"I just don't want to give xxx (boyfriend's name) to others"
"I want to let him surround me for the rest of my life"
"I want to let him surround me for the rest of my life"
Nan Yi's marriage partner Xiao is a barber who graduated from a technical secondary school in his hometown in Yunnan. They have known each other for more than two years, fell in love for three months, and were pregnant for two months.
Although we have no way to know the true relationship between the two, Xiao's response attitude is quite intriguing:
"If we don't have this child, we may not be able to get to the end."
netizens' regret and dissuasion, and Nan Yi's will, as if they were on both ends of the Libra. What broke the balance of the situation was Xiao's identity information exposed.
It turns out that Nan Yi’s husband is not just a barber, he also has a self-media company under his name.
soon, public opinion mocked her for "reading can't save the love brain", and turned to the anger of being deceived:
"They are hyped"
"Don't be her leek, she may just want to bring goods and make money"
"Don't be her leek, she may just want to make money by selling goods"
was pushed to the forefront and closed his social account.
deserves it?
Some people say that Nan Yi deserves to be scolded.
She is not only trashing her own life, but the entire group of women she represents.
admitted her major, and only two students were recruited this year. The quota is already scarce, and Nan Yi took a leave of absence as soon as school started, which not only delayed his own studies, but also disrupted the arrangements of the school tutors.
This may cause the tutor to be biased against female students, resulting in the school's in the future fewer recruits or even no girls, thus directly harming the collective interests of women.
But in fact, Nan Yi’s problem is her waste of her own resources.
The path to the rise of women from the grassroots level is undoubtedly difficult. To cross class barriers, they may need to meet the following conditions at the same time:
was born in a family that is willing to provide girls with school without gender discrimination and can afford tuition;
school where they attend has certain educational resources and can provide sufficient competitiveness in going to school;
has potential and is not influenced by the outside world to focus on improving themselves;
......
However, any one of them is enough to filter out countless people.
resources are always limited. After removing the parts that people who are thousands of times better than their conditions can enjoy, they are left with tiny.
This is the reason why Zhang Guimei scolded the housewife students.
is also a reason to arouse regret and anger.
Of course, for Nan Yi, perhaps this kind of choice is much less risky than ordinary people.
After all, she is an internet celebrity with income. Although her husband graduated from a technical secondary school, he also has certain financial strength to start a company.
But for most ordinary girls who hold "get off school, get married, have children and then go back to school", this is a path full of risks and uncertainty.
Girl Xiao Zhang also had the same plan as Nan Yi at first.
She is a 2010 undergraduate student in a university in Hangzhou. After getting married in her junior year, she found out that she was pregnant, so she decided to take a leave of school to wait for delivery.
"I originally thought that it would not have a big impact on going back to school after giving birth. It was just one year late for graduation, but the reality is really not that simple."
After taking a break from school for one year, Xiao Zhang asked for leave from the school again, asking for another one year to extend it.
"After the child is born, he still needs to breastfeed, and he cannot live without his mother. And if he returns to school, he must be separated from the baby, which will have an impact on the baby's growth. It is difficult for me to integrate into other classmates again."
This is her last chance. A year later, she must return to school to complete the remaining courses, otherwise she will automatically drop out.
But in the end, Xiao Zhang gave up his studies due to various difficulties and pressures in reality.
Nanyi may develop as expected and will not fall.
But for the same group of women who also take a break from school to get married and have children, these unexpected situations may become the last straw that changes their life trajectory.
"reversalist" who is forced to take on everything
I hope girls don't become the "second Nanyi".
The original intention is not to divide the new "female rank", or to force everyone to get into the condom of a perfect independent woman.
Instead, I want people to realize that "Marriage" and "birth" are not a single action, but a continuous life.
Beauvoir describes the life of housewives in " Second Sex " like this:
They are like constantly pushing the stones rolling down the mountain back to the top of the mountain Sisyphus . Repeatedly doing things to manage the family, confined to the kitchen and living room, what is lost is self-worth.
Women who belong to the family are more like retrogrades in today's environment full of discrimination.
Public opinion classifies this retrograde as their personal choice.Since it is a personal choice, it is natural that you should bear all the risks that may arise.
No matter whether it is physical damage, disconnected from society, or encounters discrimination against studying and employment, it is not allowed to complain at all.
In fact?
When asked "Why did you choose to have a child during your studies?", many people explained this way: "want to complete two major events in life in the same time."
In order to cater to the environment and make themselves more competitive in the future workplace, they are forced to make decisions.
How did they become their "personal" choice?
Teacher Jin, a counselor at a university in Zhejiang, said that if a graduate student or doctoral student needs to get married and have children, he will usually discuss with his tutor, or arrange the birth time in a period with relatively few courses, and complete the task of giving birth without affecting his studies.
Regular way to get the exam, school rules allow, and tutors can communicate. On the premise that everything is reasonable and legal, if women still get discriminated against for giving birth, isn’t the school the most blamed?
The only admission criterion for colleges and universities should be scores, not gender.
The rhetoric of using various reasons to restrict or block women's rights and push women to the trial stage is not uncommon in the workplace.
Many companies use the principle of deducting wages from women to get married, have children, and take maternity leave, openly encourages employees to discriminate against women and take the opportunity to reduce female positions.
It seems that no matter how you choose, women's sense of powerlessness when facing life options is not brought by individual choices. It is caused by structural and institutional shortcomings.
Similarly, women go through fire and water for love and retreat bravely for the torrent of marriage is also a sacrifice packaged as free choice.
"Start at the Extreme" There is a sentence in: The more individuals insist on "self-decision", the more they can be exempted from liability.
When a group of women unconsciously make this self-decision, beautify it into sacrifice and dedication.
Then another group of women are destined to be driven by the structure and bear the risk of falling alone.
