Hello everyone, I am Xiu Jianjun~
I have a nephew, who is 12 years old this year. I went back to my hometown to play in the Mid-Autumn Festival. My nephew just came back from school and was very happy to see me.
After lunch, my nephew called me to his side and lie down next to my ear and said to me: "My mother always says I am stupid. I obviously do the questions in the last exam. I deliberately made mistakes, so I want to show him stupidity to prove that he is right." After saying that, he was quite proud.
Through this incident, I deeply realized that "there is a reason for the rebellion of children", and rebellious children are forced out.
As parents, you can think about it, why are children not rebellious with classmates, friends, and teachers, but only rebellious with you? Because you are always asking your child, and you don’t squat down and speak well, communicate well with your child, and parents respect their children and listen to their children’s voices, and their children will understand their parents.
1. Encourage children to be "open and upright", criticize children to be "private"
Children have their own self-esteem. When children are young, parents criticize their children, and children will cry to show that their self-esteem is hurt, while older children will use resistance and talk back to their parents. Therefore, parents should know that "no matter how old the child has self-esteem, they need to take care of them with care."
① Standing at the child's perspective and look at the problem at a high level
Dongdong is 6 years old and always wants to go out to play. My mother just happened to be going to the supermarket to buy things, and took her children out for a walk. But not long after she arrived at the supermarket, the child cried and made a tantrum and wanted to go home. The mother scolded angrily: "Aren't you going to play? You just brought you back, and you thought about going back again. It's really annoying."
Here I want to remind parents that taking children out is often where we want to go, not where our children want to go, and buying things. Often, what adults want is what adults want, not what children want. Therefore, parents need to think about the problem from the perspective of their children. If you don’t believe it, you can try to squat down at the same height as your child in any occasion, and then look at the surrounding world. Children see adult legs, garbage, and things on the ground, so often, children may not like the occasions and things that adults like.
②Criticize and beat children and pay attention to occasions
"Beating children" does not deny that it is an educational method, but it does not mean that as long as the child makes a mistake, it should be beaten. Here we should explain that "beating children" is a warning of seriousness, which is to let children deeply remember the seriousness of this matter, such as: stealing things and life-threatening things.
2. Every child has his own life switch
Every child is a genius, but most parents have not found their children's genius field. Why is this? Because parents have never turned on their life switch in their lives, and they have not done so, their children's genius field cannot be opened.
It doesn’t matter who your child is, where it doesn’t matter what you learn, and who you learn the most from . The level of the coach determines the performance of the player. Jay Chou suffered from stuttering at the age of 23. He sold his house for the treatment of his mother and found the best billiards coach in Taiwan, and eventually became the world champion; Ding Junhui was the world champion at the age of 215. When he was 7, he sold his house and found the best coach in Taiwan, and eventually became the world champion; Lang Lang was 24 years old. His father bought him the most expensive piano in Shenyang, sold his house and hired Zhu Yafen, the most well-known piano teacher in China. He won the first place in the competition at the age of 5, 6 and 7.
So, if you find a coach for your child, you have to find a coach for your child who is the best in the world. Although the tuition is expensive, it is all worth it. Always remember one sentence: the height of parents determines the height of children, and the mind of parents determines the mind of children. Selfish, greedy, and irresponsible parents will never be able to cultivate children with a mind, love and style.
3. Parents change 1%, children change 100%
I remember when I was a child, every time my father sent me to school, he would tell the class teacher: "If your child is not obedient, you should fight and repair it." In fact, this concept is wrong. If your parents don't change, no matter how well the teacher teaches, he will be beaten back to his original form when he returns home. The changes of parents are the starting point for children to grow up.
If the child is a product, the parents are the production line. If you want to change the quality of the product, it is impossible not to change the production line. If you want your children to change, the first thing parents should learn is to appreciate their children and change their attitude towards their children's problems.
Finally, four sentences are given to all parents:
should support parents well;
should appreciate your lover more;
should praise your children more;
should protect yourself well.
*Note: The pictures in this article are from the Internet. If there is any infringement, please contact
Author profile: Xiu Jianjun, parents who focus on family education, are good at observing and thinking hard. Update daily. If you like it, follow me immediately~
