Reading to accompany the growth of the book, fragrant and moisturizing childhood
She told me recently, a mother told me Children are very afraid of darkness. I hope I can recommend some picture books to help them overcome the fear of darkness. She said that every time walks to the underground parking lot, the child will become very nervous and clenched her hand . When the night comes, when the night is at home, the child will become uneasy if the light in is too dark. . Once, the child wanted to take a toy that was put in another room, and that room was a glass sliding door, which can actually see through light, but the child does not dare to go alone to get things , no You have to hold her together.
The grandparents at home will say "The child is too courageous and needs exercise" , she also kept telling her children that the underground parking lot is not afraid, and she also tried to exercise her children deliberately, let the children go to another room to pick up toys, but the effect is not very obvious, the children will still be very nervous to the underground parking lot and would rather give up Toys are not willing to go to another room alone. This made her very anxious. She told me : "She would rather give up her favorite toy than face the dark room by herself. Is my child really timid?"
In life, Most children will have the experience of being afraid of the dark , facing children afraid of the dark, We often tell children "Don't be afraid, there is nothing", and some parents will directly push their children to face the darkness directly. In fact, this will not help the children except to make the children more nervous.
We as parents, what really helps our children is behind the Understanding the dark The reason can prescribe the right medicine. solves the problem from the root cause .
Why are children afraid of the dark?
NO.1 Children's fear of darkness comes from rich imagination.
Case: Today, the three-year-old one came to the school to play, because there were not many people in the school because they came early, and she wanted to go to another classroom to play, although the light was on Yes, but she was still afraid. She had to drag her mother's hand to go. She said that she was afraid of "there are ghosts and monsters going out." Later, Yiyi’s mother told me that Yiyi and her sister at home often play the "ghost" game .
Analysis: Piaget’s theory of child cognitive development mentioned 2- The 7-year-old is in the pre-calculation stage. Especially 3~4 years old Zou You’s children have not yet formed abstract thinking and cannot accurately distinguish between imagination and reality . Therefore, the games played are part of the real experience. One of the cases belongs to , which confuses reality with imagination . She regards the experience in the game as part of the real life This is why Montessori recommends not to tell fantasy stories to children before the age of 6.
NO.2 Children's fear of darkness stems from bad life experience.
Case: Yunyun’s mother is a member of my school. I learned Yunyun’s story from talking to her. Yunyun is a very naughty child. Once Yunyun was playing with his mobile phone at home. It took too long. Dad asked Yunyun to put down the phone and let his eyes rest for a while. But the obsessed Yunyun didn’t hear his father’s request at all, so he kept playing for a long time until his father. Angrily hit Yunyun's ass, but the tempered Yunyun threw his father's cell phone bubble into the toilet with revenge. An anxious father shut Yunyun into his home study, leaving Yunyun alone in it . Yunyun's mother said that since then Yunyun has been very afraid of the dark and dare not sleep alone.
Analysis: Yunyun’s experience is related to Dad’s way of education. Putting down the phone is a good starting point, but the method is not appropriate. Direct to push the child into the study room without anyone to let the child calm down. In fact, it does not help the child understand the nature of the problem. Instead, it makes Yunyun be alone and to the darkness. The psychology of fear .
NO.3 comes from the fright of adults
Case: Ranran is a kindergarten classmate in the same class with my son, but he does not have the habit of taking a nap, and he just started the small class. I was very uncomfortable with the kindergarten’s nap time and often did not sleep, so the teacher told him "If you don’t sleep, the police will take you away." Since then, he has taken a nap obediently, but he has buried fear in my son. Seed, when his father is on a business trip, only our two mothers and sons are left at home. The son will be very timid and cautious. He has to check whether the door is locked or not. He dare not stay alone. I will follow wherever I go. I found this abnormal situation very strange, so I asked him what he was afraid of. My son said, "Afraid of the police." I asked him "Why is he afraid of the police." He said, "I am afraid of taking classmates away often." After repeated questioning, I finally understood the whole story.
Analysis: This may be due to a joke of the teacher’s family, most of it Similar jokes have been made to children, such as "Send you to others if you don't obey; let the police arrest you if you don't eat; monsters will come and eat you if you don't sleep" , but the child doesn't understand What is the concept of joke, can not distinguish joke from reality .
What should parents do?
The fear of darkness is something that every child will experience, Children are afraid of the dark It usually shows: sensitivity, insecurity, fear of being alone, etc. . Children's fear of the dark is mainly based on two reasons. First, the fear of dark comes from the child's fear of the unknown . Secondly, it mainly comes from the unique psychology of children's development stage. The well-known child psychologist Piaget proposed that children in early childhood, especially three- to four-year-old children, generally have a unique psychological phenomenon called "familiar mentality" , which also means that children All things are regarded as living things. They will talk to them like pillows, rag dolls, and toys as friends. When in the dark, they will bring all the things they have seen, heard and feared into them, creating rich associations , and parents often I will ignore these, so facing the saying that children are afraid of the dark, parents and friends can:
01 Recognize the child’s emotions
A child’s fear of the dark is a normal manifestation of child development. When a child says "be afraid of the dark", the first thing we can do is to recognize the child's emotions . It is okay to be afraid of the dark, but not a coward.
02 Think empathy, understand the child
03 Give real help when the child needs it, so that the child does not have to continue to hoard negative emotions
Usually when a child says "be afraid of the dark", we will say "Don't be afraid", "There is nothing to be afraid of" "Coward" , but we are ignore the child being afraid of the dark The root of , together with the child Discuss the root of fear of the dark , to help children really come out of fear.
04 Take the children to play dark games
For example, turn off the light and flashlight and play shadow games with the children, and what games the flashlight can shine. adds children’s beautiful body to the dark night experience.
What picture books are recommended for children who are afraid of the dark?
01 "Smashing in the cradle"
1a3a0#0A story told I'm afraid that the little black frog feels upset every time the night comes. He is afraid of sleeping alone because he can always hear strange sounds. Therefore, in order to really help the little frog to get out of the fear of darkness, brought to the pond at night to listen to the sounds of the night, and finally successfully helped eliminate the little frog’s fear of the dark night .
02 "Eat the Dark Monster"
03 "The Darkest Darkness"
I believe that every time the parents are patiently accompanied, they will illuminate and inject the growth of the child’s heart. The power of confidence and bravery!
Introduction to the author: Everyday, as a practitioner and promoter of parent-child reading, I hope to share with you the bits and pieces of parent-child reading.
