You can often see scenes like this in life. Children stand in front of the supermarket and struggle and cry desperately, because their favorite toy has not been handed. 's parents just started to reason with their children, but Parents also start to have headaches when they find that these principles do not work at all. In order to quickly quell this "war" , parents begin to compromise, and the ultimate solution is to satisfy their children to buy toys for their children.
This situation should be very common. Why do children always get unsatisfied in their hearts, have strong desires or even don't know how to be grateful? The children’s memory is just like the memory of a fish in only a few seconds. There are already a few boxes of toys at home, but when they see the same toys in the mall, they are still clamoring to buy them; when they see items owned by other children, they will If you want the same baby right away, you can't delay it for a moment.
In fact, these behaviors will be reflected in children, but the crux of the problem lies not in the children but in the parents. The guidance of the parents plays a decisive role in the behavior of the children.
What behaviors of parents will mislead their children?
Unconditionally satisfy children
Children’s living conditions are very good, and parents have created good basic conditions for their children. It is precisely because of this that parents want to avoid the suffering they have suffered and their needs for their children. They are all responsive.
The parents will unconditionally satisfy whatever the child wants, because this kind of timely satisfaction is the best way for parents to express love to their children.
I don’t know that it is this unconditional satisfaction that creates an illusion and cognition for children. Young children have no concept of money, and children will think that as long as they want what they want, they just need to open their mouths. Will get.
This kind of unobstructed requirement will make the child’s heart swell,The child's heart is like a continuously inflated balloon, getting bigger and bigger, and the end result can only be the disillusionment of endless desires and expectations.
Parents’ education direction is not uniform
Children are very smart individuals. They can keenly observe the emotions and thoughts of people around them to find a breakthrough to realize their wishes.
In a family, this happens when parents disagree. For example, mothers want to be strict with their children, but fathers think that there is no need to be so harsh on children. always sings a red face and a white face. , Dad will always satisfy his children's requirements in private, and over time the children will be able to accurately determine the family relationship.
Children will use a variety of ways to allow their parents to compromise to achieve their goals and satisfy their inner desires and expectations.
Comparing psychology is causing trouble
Parents want to give their children the best life and treatment, and they always unconsciously compare themselves with the situation of those around them, and they have a strong sense of comparison. When seeing items owned by other children, parents will try their best to arrange the same items for their children.
This kind of invisible comparison psychology will give children a strong psychological mapping. Children will regard the words and deeds of their parents as the direction of their own behavior. They like to compete with others, and it is difficult to be satisfied in their hearts.
The psychology of comparison is like a little devil in your heart. will make the child lose his mind at all times. What the child needs is not to get the item, but the process of getting the item makes his heart very satisfied.
How to help children change the situation?
A child is a complex of contradictions. There will be various problems at any time. When they find that the child does not know how to get enough, and often keep asking for it, parents should learn to change the education method.
Leading children to feel the difficulty of acquiring
The simplest and most direct reason for children not knowing how to get enough is that they are too easy to get.Let the children lose the sense of awe they should have. Parents help children increase the difficulty of obtaining items through various means, so that children feel pressure and difficulties, so that children can understand how to cherish.
Parents can give their children some tasks that are within reach, and let the children work hard to complete the conditions of exchange items. For example, mothers can give their children a special bookkeeping book, and the children can accumulate them when they help their mother do a housework or complete some better tasks. The children’s desired items can be set as the accumulated points for housework. After that, the child can perform item replacement.
It is worth noting that the entire plan and point setting are best made by the children and their parents. Let the children set the points and goals by themselves, so that the child will be more motivated.
This approach has many benefits. First, it enhances the child’s ability to make plans, enhances the child’s inner driving force for action, makes the child’s inner goal clearer, and the child understands that obtaining items requires corresponding labor and effort, and the child is more Learned the good character of contentment.
Parents should be good at discovering the children's shining points and progress in the process of their children's efforts, and constantly encourage the children to clearly inform the children of her efforts, which parents can see, and give the children a powerful force to change themselves.
Take children to see the wider world
The reason why children like to keep asking is because they think that what they want is everything, and the world in their eyes is small and narrow. Parents should take their children to feel the vastness and beauty of the world, fill the children's heart, and make the world in the eyes of the children become richer and more beautiful.
You can take your children on a trip during the holidays, and make corresponding preparations in advance, so that the children can experience the beauty of nature and society during the play, and allow them to learn more knowledge and skills.
When the child sees the real world becomes broader, the child is no longer confined to her own narrow area, she will also understand the meaning of cherishing and satisfying.
There is nothing wrong with children who don’t know how to be satisfied.Parents should regard these behaviors as a growing experience, and by giving children more different guidance, expanding the heart of the child, let the child realize that it is not easy, the child can naturally change!
Today’s topic: Will your child be dissatisfied? How do you lead? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area to discuss!
I am Qiyue mom, a mother of a three-year-old child. I hope that some of my parenting experience can be communicated to you through the platform and provide a little help for your parenting journey! You can follow me to learn and grow together!
I am @七悦妈, follow me and talk about parenting easily with me!
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