More than three months ago, I encountered a new show. The DJ's voice was very warm and kind. I like it very much. His audience was very good. We went to attend his meeting yesterday and we were very happy.
When getting along with new audiences, I am still quite popular, not as annoying as others think I am.
But I haven't let go of the previous thing that hurt me. I was humiliated and hurt by a DJ because of my complaint. I am afraid that such a new anchor will be staged again, so I am a little cautious when interacting with the new anchor now.
I also want to start a new relationship, forget the pain of this matter, and get out, but I can't do it.
I think it is difficult for me to enter a new relationship in such a state and don’t want to be taken by those traumas. What should I do?
It seems that this is a "unfinished event"
"unfinished event" is the concept of the Gestalt psychology school, emphasizing that at this moment, emphasizing that full learning, understanding, and feeling the present moment.
Compare your situation:
was humiliated and hurt by a DJ because of my complaint. I am afraid that such a new anchor will be staged again, so I am a little cautious when interacting with the new anchor now.
This is something that is not fully expressed and fully experienced and completed.
In the treatment principle of Gestalt , it is believed that since these emotions are not fully experienced in the field of perception, they are wandering in the subconscious and unconsciously brought into real life, thus hindering the effective contact between oneself and others.
is pending because of the "unfinished event", is in a state where individuals cannot understand, have no ability or are not supported,
, but the trauma has always been required to be breached. The requirement of breach is sometimes denied, sometimes implicated, and some are rationalized. It seems that this fixed Gestalt (fixed response mode) is adaptable,
This is the basic mechanism that unfinished events cause trouble to people.
When people's troubles come from lingering similar situations, or their energy and attention cannot be completely relaxed into future and present affairs, it seems that they are often revisiting old creations, and it seems that they are still trying to solve the initial overwhelming fear
I also want to start a new relationship, forget the pain of this thing, and get out, but I can't do it.
completion events often persist until the individual is brave enough to face and deal with these unexpressed emotions.
So, what you need to do is
Step 1: Have the courage to face past events, your emotions and needs, seek opportunities for integration, and achieve completeness and completion.
substitute into your situation:
1. In the previous event, what were my needs and what were my emotions?
2. I feel humiliated because...
3. I need to be treated like..., which is suitable for me.
4. Here, his... behavior makes me feel hurt,
5. His language and tone make me feel like I have, my body feels...,
6. Here, there is... belief and cognition
expresses the originally unknown disappointment and anger emotions to solve the original deadlock. (Please do it under the consultation settings. There may be a lot of emotions and negative experiences. People will want to defend themselves to protect themselves)
step 2, combine the results of the first step
1, release emotions, (full experience, and expression)
2, change cognition and concepts (change unreasonable cognition)
3, empower, empower yourself. (What kind of response can you do when you encounter similar situations)
part. It takes a little time and requires professional help.
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