Try not to use any favors if you can handle things yourself.
Writer Feng Lun told a story in " grows barbaric ".
A private company owner drove through a red light and was stopped by the traffic police.
He took a closer look and saw that the traffic policeman was his friend, so he immediately greeted him: "Brother, why are you here!"
The other party waved to him, waived his 50 yuan fine, and let him go.
Later, after troubling my friend twice in succession, I felt so sorry that I invited him to have a meal.
During the dinner, he asked casually: "What do my brothers and sisters do for a living?"
My friend said, "I don't have a job. I'm staying at home. Can you help find a job in the company? I'll give you the salary."
My friend's wife had low education and no skills that she could show off, but he didn't want to ruin the friendship between the two families, so he had to nod and agree.
He arranged a position for her in the company and paid her a monthly salary of 2,000 yuan.
But because of his connections, the other party did not work well in the company and was domineering, which offended many colleagues.
The boss saw this and after weighing the pros and cons repeatedly, he fired her.
After his friend learned about the situation, he anxiously asked him if he disliked his wife. After a big quarrel with him, the two broke up completely. The boss of
also regretted it. If he had paid the fine readily, there would not have been so many troubles later.
There is a saying in the movie " Fatal Connection ": " Favor is a sharp sword that opens the way, and it is also a cocoon that binds oneself. "
Some things are obviously easy to handle, but once they are mixed with the entanglement of human relations, it is like carrying a debt that cannot be repaid, adding a lot of burden to oneself.
As the saying goes: There is no free lunch in the world, everything that is free has a price secretly marked on it.
When dealing with people, if you can handle things yourself, don't use favors.
No matter how good the relationship is, you must have a ruler in your heart to measure the scale of doing things and grasp the distance between each other.
The most difficult debt to repay in the world is the debt of favor
Wang Yangming said: "Except for the change of favor, there is nothing."
The debt of favor is the most difficult debt to repay in the world, and many troubles arise from it.
I heard a story told by a Zhihu netizen:
At that time, the netizen’s family conditions were not good. It was his cousin who raised the few thousand yuan that the netizen still needed to go to college to solve the netizen’s urgent need.
Therefore, the netizens and their family are extremely grateful to their cousin.
Two years later, when the netizen returned the money owed to his cousin along with the interest, the cousin said:
"I will just accept these thousands of dollars. They are all relatives, and the interest will be waived. When you become rich in the future, just don't forget about your brother. Your brother will rely on you in the future."
At that time, the netizen just regarded it as a joke and didn't take it to heart.
Unexpectedly, after graduation, he worked in a famous company for four or five years. When life got better and better, his cousin's family asked him for help because of the favor he had received back then.
My cousin said: "Your brother has just graduated from college, but it is difficult to find a job now. I hope you can help him find a good job."
Although netizens were reluctant, in order to return the favor, he still did it.
But later, my cousin pointed out that my brother was not a local, so the children could not enter the public kindergarten, and the private tuition fees were too high, and they could not afford it.
It’s still half a year before my child goes to kindergarten. I want netizens to think of a way to enter a public kindergarten through trusting relationships.
But netizens thought that the favor had been repaid, so they didn’t pay too much attention to this matter.
When school was about to start, my cousin called a netizen and asked: "Have you settled on going to a public kindergarten?"
The netizen said: "No, I was too busy before and haven't done it yet. I'm really sorry."
But my cousin said: "You have to have a conscience. Don't forget that the money you paid for college was given by our family. Now that you are rich, you can turn your back on others and not even help with this little thing?"
What others did with a little effort in the past may become a burden that will crush you in the future.
Every favor debt you owe is the most expensive loan shark.
Just like a passage I once read on NetEase Cloud:
"It is said that the most difficult thing in the world is to repay favor debts. What is the difficulty? The difficulty lies in the fact that favor debts cannot be quantified. Even if the financial debts are paid off, the favor debts will never be cleared."
Many times, we miss old feelings, but others rely on them to kidnap us.
Favor is a double-edged sword. It saves worry and effort when using it, but it is very difficult to return it.
Favors, like money, should be used wisely.
Writer Xie Kehui told a story:
A company boss entrusted a friend to do market research. After the friend sent the data, he immediately asked the finance department to make the payment.
Friends repeatedly refused. They were friends for many years and treated it as a free favor for their boss. The boss of
said with a smile that just because we have been friends for more than ten years, we should separate money and friendship. If you give something, you will get something in return, so that we can get along more securely in the future.
Favors are the same as money. They should be used wisely and used all the time. It is a kind of consumption.
If things can be solved with money, try not to use favors.
I heard a story from a reader:
The reader's father is a doctor, and there is an endless stream of people coming to see him every day.
Among them, acquaintances account for one-third.
But his father's cousin never bothered him with minor physical problems.
Until one time, my cousin’s father had a physical examination and was found to have polyps in his intestines, which required surgery to remove them.
My cousin was afraid that waiting in line for surgery would worsen his condition, so he brought gifts to his father’s house for help.
After his father found out, he immediately called the intestinal doctor to explain the situation and wanted him to arrange an operation as soon as possible.
After the operation, under the careful care of doctors and nurses, the old man's body recovered very well.
After he was discharged from the hospital, his cousin bought a reward gift to thank his father and the doctor.
Li Xiaolai said: "The essence of relationship is an exchange of resources."
In life, no one can avoid the word "human feelings".
In the adult world, everyone is not a completely independent individual. There are always times when we need help from others.
Although it is easier to do things through relationships, the help between people is based on value exchange.
As said in "The Godfather": Everything is a business. Whether the negotiation can be successful or not is just a matter of bargaining chips.
Therefore, a person's true maturity can only be achieved by using favors wisely.
I like a saying very much:
"When interacting with others, remember: Don't sell favors at the expense of others, and don't sacrifice them at the expense of disappointing people's hearts."
When getting along with others, many people have the illusion that relationships are free capital and should not be used in vain.
But in this world, no one owes anyone anything, so don’t take other people’s contributions for granted.
Favors are all mutual. They are not given without reason, nor withheld without reason.
Therefore, there should be a limit to the use of favors, do not take advantage of others, and do not cause trouble to yourself.
I wish to rely on myself as much as possible for the rest of my life, and do not owe anyone any favors easily. This is the greatest responsibility to myself.
About the author : Xiangcheng, the author of Fu Shu, a literary young woman wandering in the literary world, "Good Life" is now selling well , this article: Fu Shu, the copyright of this article belongs to Fu Shu, unauthorized reproduction is not allowed, infringement will be prosecuted
