I am a person who likes nostalgia, so I like to listen to classic old songs and cover classic old songs. I experience the confusion and indulgence of people in the songs that seem like a different world in the process of listening and covering. I also like to read classic ancient books, feel the unparalleled wisdom of the ancients in the books, and listen to the golden and jade words of ancient sages. Even if the article I wrote many years ago now seems to be a piece of old sesame seeds, I often read it carefully, and after reading it, my thoughts are full of thoughts and my heart is ups and downs, and sometimes I even cry and burst into tears, and I can't calm down my heart for a long time.
A few days ago, I saw an article published by a WeChat friend and literary friend in my circle of friends on his official account, and was inspired by a passage at the end of the article, so at that moment I wanted to make a video to commemorate my father.
I just learned how to make videos and did it just now. I decided to make a picture and text video and read an article missing my father in my own voice. Of course, there is no shortage of materials. The article is an old article that was written a few years ago, and it also touched many literary friends after it was published. I think it's perfect to read that article.
More than 0 years ago, the last side between me and my father, the love and scene have long been unforgettable, making me unforgettable in this life. Whenever I think about it, my heart will ached faintly, so every time I see that article, I still can't help crying. When I used the clipping software to make that video, I used my own voice, which required me to read the article in Mandarin word by word. However, I cried bitterly during the recording, so I couldn't continue recording. Even if I barely finished recording, my voice trembled due to emotional excitement, and even felt embarrassed after listening to it. After recording it three times, I finally succeeded, but my so-called Mandarin is still not pronounced in a standard way because it has the flavor of Hunan dialect. I accepted such flaws at first, but later I felt more and more awkward.
I began to deny myself. I shouldn’t have made this video, which made me feel heavy after watching it. It turned out that I was still fragile and vulnerable. I actually never let go of the pain of losing my closest relatives. I just chose to deliberately forget those sad past events.
My wound has not completely healed, so why do I still have to uncover it and let the wound bleed again? Life is already heavy enough, why do I still have to be obsessed with reminiscing about the past, and force my originally melancholy heart to fall into the miserable mist and be unable to see the light of the sky?
Do I still need to deliberately create a video like this to commemorate my father? My father has always lived in my heart and has never really left. Why should I frequently use formal things to commemorate him? How much significance is it to create such a video to commemorate him? For others, my videos are just possible to make some people feel empathy and shed tears of sympathy. This is just that people with delicate and soft minds will have their eyes wet. Most people will only secretly laugh at my poor Mandarin in the video, and will only suspect that I am playing the tragic card to earn traffic...
Think carefully, my past and my joys and sorrows are related to several people in this world? Why do I frequently expose my wounds to irrelevant people? Do you win sympathy for others? Or deliberately create some kind of character of your own? Does making such a video to commemorate my father mean that I am most affectionate?
Let’s forget it. Leave those past events to the dust of time. Whether it’s sad or lost, even if it’s so lonely that it’s suffocating, it’s just my own affairs. There’s no need to try to let others be sad and frustrated with me.
It’s not a mistake to like nostalgia, but to be afraid that nostalgia will become a disease, and it’s not a mild illness, that’s too much. I don’t have to look back frequently, I don’t have to always be nostalgic about the past, and I can’t get out of the misfortune of losing the beautiful things. I can’t artificially put shackles on myself and then carry the burden forward. If my parents have a spirit in heaven, I only hope that I can move forward lightly and live happily and happily, but I don’t want me to be depressed because I never forget them.
Look forward, there is no need to look back frequently, the past cannot be pursued, only by cherishing the present is wise.Thinking of this, I deleted the video and reminded myself that I didn’t have to stir-fry the old sesame seeds frequently in the future.
