"Recently, I'm going to feel depressed. There are quite a few people around me who feel this way."
The old blonde who has been happy in the past and has a relatively smooth work and life sent a message.
I am a little worried, but I feel a little powerless, so I can only empathize with in this way:
Yes, there are many people who are depressed recently, and many people even have extreme thoughts. I really need to take good care of my body and mind.
Seeing this, he replied to me:
"If this is the case, I will let the sun shine down on my bed."
Let the sun shine down on my bed.
is so good! I will regard Lao Jin's words as the golden sentence of the year, paste them on the wall and remember them in my heart, and recommend them to you who are also in trouble.
1. Even if you lose everything, you at least have your "last territory"
I can do nothing.
My life has lost control little by little.
Whether it is the pain of the past, the limitations of reality, or because of your emotions - the reason is no longer important. The key is that you have fully felt the "facts":
life is no longer controlled by you, those that you think can be easily obtained become out of reach, those things you think should be able to do become erratic, those decisions you think should be independent have become necessary to discuss with others, or they also become others to decide for you...
The world seems big, but the world belongs to you is getting smaller and smaller, so small that you can't even notice where else really belongs to you.
In this state of mind, how can a person not become depressed, sad, weak and exhausted?
However, we really overlooked that there is another place that still belongs to us, and others can't even snatch it away:
that is our bed.
No matter how big a person’s world is, he will eventually return to his own bed.
No matter how small a person's world is, it will still be allowed to keep the bed.
bed is a person's "last territory".
In the bed, you can rest, entertain, dream, lie down and think randomly, you can...
others have no right to interfere with you.
Recently, I saw a photo of 100-year-old Yang Zhenning of the old man lying on the bed, and I was quite touched.
A 100-year-old man, lying on the bed, using a mobile phone stand, is looking through the phone, or studying, working, or entertainment.
Although the freedom of the body is greatly restricted, at this moment, he still has the freedom that belongs to himself, a kind of freedom of the mind.
Even if this world forces you to the only space for this bed, you still have elastic space and have not yet reached the end of your life.
As long as there is space for this "bed", you will have a "base". This "base" belongs to you. It will not abandon you or betray you, and will bring you a source of strength.
If the outside world exhausts you, don’t forget that you will always have this “last territory”!
2. Where does the "sun" come from?
A person falls into depression, as if he has entered a long rainy day.
It seems that all tragedies also happen on rainy days, so people are destined to feel lost on rainy days. And the dripping rain seemed to be crying for us.
Therefore, having a bed alone is not enough, and you also need the "sun". If you always lie on the bed wet, then a person will also "be moldy" or even "smash".
However, the sunlight will not directly hit our room, you need to do something:
First, you need to open the curtains, look at the outside world, and let the sunlight shine in.
A person falls into depression and is prone to falling into his own world. He always thinks about what he missed in the past, what is wrong with himself today, and how bad his future self will be. It is difficult to get out of this rainy weather in his heart.
So, open the curtains and let the sun shine in outside.
must be honest. Under the current situation, it is difficult for you to become the "sun" yourself. You must rely on some external power. Don't be embarrassed, and don't think this is a manifestation of your incompetence - All things grow by the sun, and you also include .
A while ago, I had to lie flat like Mr. Yang Zhenning because of a waist injury. I found a lot of outside worlds for myself, and I also found that even if I was lying in bed, there were still a lot of "sunlight" to come in:
I watched a lot of sweet and pleasant dramas that I wouldn't usually watch. Although the plot has a part of the wisdom reduction, my beautiful face, refreshing plot, and interesting characters. More importantly, these works convey a basic belief- Evil cannot defeat good, and although I have experienced wind and rain, the sun will eventually appear .
When a person is in a low point, he needs these "sunlight" that can touch people's hearts to heal the wounds in his body and heart, and to use the beautiful hope of the world.
I have also picked up many classic literary works I have read in childhood, such as " Gadfly ", "Red and Black", "Jane Eyre", "Two Cities", "Pushkin Selected Poems", " Little Prince ", etc.
, these works that have been tempered by time will make you look longer and calm your heart. More importantly, let me understand one thing: Although the world of
sometimes makes you feel bad, the overall development trend of is unshakable, that is, toward a more wise, respect others, and richer humanity. In the rain, there are always some ghosts and monsters who will patrol the streets in the dark, but they cannot shake this big pattern and will eventually be swept into the old paper pile of history.
I watched the live broadcast of an internet celebrity for the first time.
I found that in the cyberspace, there was a group of people who were "ants" in this world during the day, living humbly, but in their respective cameras, they were the "kings" of this world. Just like this sentence "Let the sun shine on my bedside", they made the head of the bed shine.
They accompany "subjects" who are of unknown surname in the distance, chat with them, tell their lives, or show their talents, and sometimes they meet, greet and play with other "kings".
These ordinary people like you and me have turned themselves into light and illuminated the bedside of many people .
Although there is haze and thunderstorm in the world, as long as you are willing to absorb the light, you can still collect more "suns" on the small land at the head of the bed. Please let this sunlight shine in and let your bed be filled with the smell of sunshine.
Next, let the sunlight and yourself produce " photosynthesis ".
Although the sun shines on you, it may not necessarily warm your heart. You even have this kind of thought:
They are all very happy, why am I unhappy? Is it my problem?
Do they have too low requirements for life or are they not sensitive enough?
If they had experienced my life, would they be so happy?
You do need to put yourself in, think and compare, but the more effective way is to integrate yourself into it, rather than to separate you from others with a rejection and rejection mentality.
might as well think about it:
What "sunlight" you see can inspire and give you strength?
can even accompany you through an hour or half an hour of happy time!
This is producing "photosynthesis".
pay more attention to what solar energy brings to you, and don’t worry about other things that are not related to this theme. Only these sunlight can help you better.
Of course, you also need to let the "sunlight" in your heart be covered with the bed.
No matter how weak you are, you still have your own "sunshine".
Your past is not all dull. Those "highlight" moments not only prove your past, but also prove that you have accumulated strength and experience for the current and future difficulties.
You might as well take this opportunity to review these times and you will find that the sunshine beside your bed is a little more dazzling!
Your future still needs your vigorous imagination. Don’t always think about the worst results. You might as well wander around and imagine what a beautiful future will look like.
Of course, you can also imagine that one day, those people you can't deal with now will also go downhill and fall from the "altar".
No one can become a winner forever. This is not an imagination, but a basic rule. Their curtain call is just a matter of time.
You must be patient and have the elegance and calmness of basking in the sun "beside the bed" and seeing when the other person "turns over".
You are now not able to hold anything in your hand. Even if there is only one bed of space that belongs to you, you can make plans at hand and live your life step by step. Every little bit of progress every day will become a small luminous body, and eventually the edge of the bed is covered with sunlight.
The world outside is stormy, but you can still let the sun shine on your bed.
3. Just stay at the "bedside" and just hold on
Since the sun can be shining in, why don't we pursue letting the sun continue to shine, but to "stop" by the bed?
Can’t we let others feel more sunshine? Can't we let more sunshine in our world? Isn't this a bit selfish, or even a bit self-limited?
This is a good question, because when you think so, it means that there is already sunshine beside your bed, and you are already eager to try, trying to make the sunny world wider.
However, I still want to remind you not to rush: . Don’t be too optimistic whenever there is any improvement.
Your situation is still in turmoil, and it is not possible to solve the practical difficulties and potential problems in life just because there is light by the bed.
Therefore, when you try to expand the range of "sunlight", it means touching some "deep water areas".
These problems may require more resources, more psychological energy, and even a better external environment to make breakthroughs.
This is what you are currently in and you are still unable to meet.
. You must take good care of yourself first.
There are many people who are depressed, and they are very responsible. They not only have relatively high requirements for themselves, but also feel that they have also shouldered many obligations for others.
Therefore, once their depression improves, or even is in a depressed state, it is easy to ignore their actual situation and think about trying to become the "sun" above others' heads.
Yes, who in this world can better understand people in depression?
is of course a person who has been depressed or is in depression.
Who can better understand people in trouble?
is of course the person who was once trapped in it or was in it.
is called "same disease and compassion".
But, more importantly, you are still in a "sickness", and it is already good that you can hold the bedside.
You can still keep pity for them, or even appreciate each other. However, you need to realize your limitations and there is no need to force yourself to do things beyond your ability.
is not selfish, but a kind of self-consciousness. allows those who are more capable to help, which is not only more in line with the basic ethics of helping others, but also more able to truly help them.
In fact, You also need to give others the opportunity to "let the sun shine on my bedside", because this is their own responsibility, and don't deprive others of their right to grow.
. Don’t think it’s easy to keep the “results”, because there are always people who want to gain a better position.
Nices Once said:
A beam of light shines into the iron tower, and the dirtyness in the iron tower is revealed, and this beam of light is guilty.
Therefore, even if you do not intend to disturb others, those dirty people will try to interfere, wanting that sunlight on your bedside disappears.
Lin Chiling After marriage and postpartum, although she has been keeping a low profile, many people have attacked her through the Internet. Recently, she responded to this:
"I don't care what people say that never have intersections in my life."
Harry Potter 's author and female writer JK Rowling encountered a net violence, and someone teased her, "How can I sleep at night after losing my readers?"
She turned around and replied: "After reading the recently received royalty check, she found that the pain disappeared without a trace ".
Whether it is Lin Chiling's "ignoring" or JK Rowling's "direct retort", they are defending their own "bedside". This actually requires a lot of energy and must not be taken lightly.
In fact, it is not only those who have no intersection, but the more people who have intersections in their lives, the more they will think that they have the right to break your "bedside", so be vigilant and don't let them succeed.
Now, if you are already forced into a desperate situation at the lowest point of your life, please remember:
You still have a bed, and you can still let this small space be shining with the sun. Please guard your "bedside" well and never give up.
In fact, everyone can hold their own "bedside" and it is a huge victory.
When everyone can let the sun shine on their bedside, the "sunlight" in this world will gather and emit a more dazzling light, becoming the greatest contempt and counterattack for those who try to cover the sky.
and are irrefutable and invincible.
End
Author | Arthur Chen National second-level psychological counselor
Introduction: A rare gender male high-looking counselor in the psychological circle, a representative figure of young appearance and mature heart. Motto: cherish time and people. Number of consultation hours: 3500 hours, research direction: workplace psychology, marriage and sex, physical and mental illness, and peer psychological counseling. Recent attention: The first priority is mindfulness and stress relief, and interpersonal communication in the Internet era.
edit | cup of coffee All-media editorial department
