Lin Qingxuan once said:
"In an era when people are confused, we should be clear in our hearts and rather be fools on the outside."
is indeed the case. People who are truly wise look a little stupid.
They will not easily show their feelings and show their positions. They always wear masks to hide their true faces and control the overall situation calmly.
people have ups and downs in life. If you are serious in everything, you will only make your head beaten and you will be bleeding.
Only by learning to "pretend" can you withstand the storm and walk forward in the changes of the world.
The world of adults, the more wise the person is, the more he knows how to "pretend".
01
pretend to be weak, reverse the situation
Carnegie said: "If you want to win friends, make your friends feel superior to you;
If you want to win enemies, then be superior to your friends."
has a deep feeling. Being strong in everything is like hitting a stone with an egg, and eventually failing to form an army.
Only by knowing how to pretend to be weak and lower your posture can you overcome hardness with softness and reverse the situation.
Writer Shen Congwen is a person who knows how to show weakness.
Once he was invited to give a lecture at the university, and the students all came here and filled the classroom.
As soon as he walked onto the podium, he was frightened by the crowded scenes and stood for more than ten minutes and couldn't speak.
Wait until he recovered, he started to bow his head and give a lecture. He originally planned to finish the course in less than ten minutes.
The students were restless and whispered.
Shen Congwen felt very embarrassed and turned around and wrote a sentence on the blackboard:
"Today is my first class. There are many people, and I am scared."
students all stood up and received thunderous applause.
Although Shen Congwen is a literary master, he lowered his attitude and was honest about his shortcomings, which not only won the understanding of students, but also resolved his embarrassment.
Sometimes, showing weakness is often more powerful than attacking and can effectively reverse the dilemma.
There is a "law of weakness" in psychology, which refers to the fact that in interpersonal communication, the other party's tense nerves can be relaxed by showing one's weakness.
shows weakness to eliminate others' defense and hostility, resolve conflicts, and achieve the purpose of easy communication.
This is not a conceited defeat or a cowardice, but a strategy of retreating to advance.
seems to be a compromise, but in fact it is a soberness to judge the situation and exchange the lowest cost for the greatest victory.
Many times, showing off one's strength is just a temporary victory, and showing weakness is the final winner.
When people reach middle age, they must know how to "show weakness", consider the long-term situation, and keep their weakness.
move forward while giving in, draw strength from softness, and become the real winner.
02
pretend to be dumb to avoid disaster
Lao She There is a saying in " Four Generations in the same family ": "Silence is sometimes the safest."
is indeed the case. Sometimes, silence is the best way to save yourself.
Getting along with others, leaving room for speaking, and leaving a way out for yourself.
Two days ago, my best friend Xiaomi cried about his experience and a good marriage, but he paid a heavy price because of his words.
She and her boyfriend met through an introduction. She felt that the man was in good condition and wanted to know him from the side.
So I asked the matchmaker that it happened that the matchmaker was a relative of the man and was enthusiastic, so I told the man's embarrassing story when he was a child, and said that it was a secret and should not be spread.
As a result, when the two quarreled, Xiaomi was impulsive and told the rumors he heard from the matchmaker.
If it is normal, these embarrassing things are nothing, but the man happened to be angry and felt insulted, so he called to question the matchmaker.
The matchmaker felt that disasters were coming from the sky and kindness would not be rewarded. He complained about Xiaomi and even regretted introducing the two to each other and never paid attention to Xiaomi.
The man also complained that Xiaomi was talking nonsense, and the relationship between the two dropped to freezing point, so that's it.
Some things are enough, just understand them in your heart, there is no need to say them out.
says too much, it is like sprinkling salt in the wound, hurting others and causing trouble to yourself.
There is a saying in "The Words of Gou·Not Twelve Sons": "When you speak, you know; when you are silent, you also know."
This is true. Learning to shut up is also a kind of wisdom.
In life, there are always some people who are outspoken, expose others' scars under the name of "for your good", and ask about the past that others don't want to remember. They accidentally offend others, but they still don't know it.
see through and say it out loud is tantamount to secondary damage, which will only hurt people's self-esteem and make people lose their face. This is a manifestation of low emotional intelligence.
can only see through but not say it out loud, pretend to be stupid and dumb at the right time, choose not to expose others' other people's face, but also leave a way out for themselves.
does not know and see through Not to mention, it is both wisdom and pattern. People who know how to "pretend to be dumb" are smart people.
03
pretend to be poor, and be fully aware of himself. As the saying goes, make a fortune in silence.
This is true. A truly powerful person knows how to attract the wind, pretend to be "poor" appropriately, and protect himself.
Zhu Zhe in the TV series " Ode to Joy 3" is a girl who can "pretend to be poor".
The Zhu family is not rich, and Zhu Zhe is the boss, who is to support his younger brother and sister. When I was a teenager, I went to Shanghai to work hard and saved money to my house.
Now, my younger brother graduated from college, my younger sister is going to get married, and she has bought a house.
never thought that my younger brother and sister would still search her, and my younger brother asked her to find a job.
My younger sister asked her to buy a dowry, and even thought the accommodation environment was poor, so she asked her to stay in a big hotel.
In their hearts, Zhu Zhe is the God of Wealth, rich and capable.
Zhu Zhe was very upset. His years of hard work not only did not bring gratitude, but instead encouraged their greed.
After thinking it through, She began to pretend to be poor, store valuables in the neighbor's house, keeping her valuables confidential, and forgery that she has a debt that she has not paid back. Therefore, she rejected their series of requests.
Zhu Zhe's "pretending to be poor" attitude avoided a series of trouble.
did not complain about her stinginess, but instead had more sympathy and less moral kidnapping .
does not expose her true wealth status, which is the greatest protection for herself.
I have heard a saying: "When you live better than others, don't show off to the other party, because your sharpness will bring the other party's loss. "
is incisive.
Showing wealth often makes people feel superior, which will inevitably attract the other party's jealousy and trampling.
You should know that people have a competitive mentality, and not everyone hopes that you will live a good life.
Too much show-off is like a double-edged sword. While killing others with your hands, it will also hurt yourself.
In life, "pretending to be poor" is actually a hidden social rule.
Only by hiding wealth and acting in a low-key manner can you avoid disasters and be considerate of yourself.
People who have no wealth are not exposed, do not stick to the vanity and prosperity in front of them, and have a tolerant pattern of dealing with the world.
is humble and does not easily make enemies. Instead, they will win help from others and become the real winner.
04
Gu Long said in " September Eagle Flying ":
"Only people who can pretend to be confused and willing to pretend to be confused are the most shrewd and most powerful. "
hits the word.
hides the edge and keeps his clumsy, is wise and stupid, seems confused, but is actually smart.
In life, if you want to avoid detours, you know how to pretend and hide.
Learn to pretend to be weak and retreat to advance to reverse the situation;
Learn to pretend to be dumb, see through and not talk about it, you can avoid disasters;
Learn to pretend to be poor and not reveal money, you can be considerate;
In the second half of your life, I hope you and I can understand the wisdom of "pretending", deal with the world with a leisurely heart, be a person with an open-minded mind, walk in the complicated world, be free and easy.
