01
How many families are there like our parents who care for their children, and I hope that their children will have a happy life and regard their children’s dream of college as the highest goal.
We have been working hard for our children and giving silently for our children. We are not selfish. We live not for ourselves, but for our crystallization.
There is no need to count the past along the way. Just being able to pass the 211 exam for a son is enough to tell everything. We love our children very much and have high hopes.
The physical and mental labor along the way have never been hard, but I finally felt the hard work as I saw my child not as good as me step by step.
thought that sending the child to college was to the crystal garden. From then on, my son could soar into the sky and be happy for a hundred years, and we parents could also benefit from it.
But who would have thought that ideals are full and reality is skinny.
02
My son is Chen Long, and I call him Xiaolong, and he was born in 1997.
My husband is a middle school teacher, and I am an accountant. The income of both of us is low, but I don’t feel any regrets. I don’t want to work either, but unfortunately I don’t have that talent, so I always work with my husband as usual.
Actually, my husband and I have no high requirements for material life, as long as we have a well-off life.
Getting married is important, not because I was young and I wanted to start a career and then get married, but I had no choice but to get married when I got older, and my husband thought the same way.
Son Xiaolong is our treasure. He has grown up all the way and is our careful companionship and care. Therefore, he is both good at character and academic performance and can get into a key high school.
I often dream that my son failed the exam, or when he was taking the exam, he used a pencil to answer questions, but he used a ballpoint pen.
So we have been worried about this. The high school entrance examination and the college entrance examination are simply nightmares for my husband and I. Fortunately, we survived it and we breathed a sigh of relief.
03
My son was admitted to a key university 985, which is considered a prestigious school. Unfortunately, he got into a key university and only entered a happy life with one foot, but he still didn’t get into it.
Therefore, we worked hard for many years. When Xiaolong was in college, the cost was very high and he had to buy high-configured computer cameras and so on. In short, we worked hard to give our son a good future in the future.
College students will definitely serve their parents when they come to work. Jinan University , graduated from famous brands, majoring in finance, is linked to money. My child’s father and I were waiting to count the money. On the day my son graduated, we were overly excited.
Many people told me: "Such a good major, such a famous university, when your child works, you can rest assured and travel across the country."
Other people's praise made me happy, like eating honey, but we did not seek to repay us in the future, because we have no worries about food and clothing, have salary and social security, as long as he lives well, we will be happy.
I just think that no matter how good a child is, he will definitely live better than us in the future. Education is the stepping stone. He graduated from a prestigious university. This title alone makes major companies compete for it.
The only thing we need to do at that time is to count money at home and bask in the sun.
04
In the summer of 2019, Xiaolong graduated. He said he didn't want to take the postgraduate entrance examination in school. The school was too boring. He wanted to show off his skills and take one step first.
So I bid farewell to my friends and stepped out of society first.
The first thing he did was to take the bank's unified recruitment exam, but he didn't expect that he would lose the election three times.
This makes us two elders depressed. How could he not pass? A talented man from a prestigious school, is it useless?
's son said this: "The requirements for the unified recruitment of that bank are too strict, which is completely different from what I learned. Even the global stock market, the rise and fall of major sectors, how to use solar energy to build cars, the difference between gravity and general relativity , are all here."
I don't know if my son is exaggerating, but my wife and I believe it.
My son said it would be best to have a training so that he can ensure success, but the training fee is more than 20,000 yuan, which made me dizzy. Didn’t my son have learned so much knowledge in college? How do you still have to learn from society? It’s okay to study, but the tuition fee is so high.
I had no choice but to be in the year of revising the college entrance examination with my son. I wonder what year and month of happiness are?
05
wasted 20,000 yuan plus two months. In the end, Xiaolong failed the written test, and our enthusiasm finally cooled down.
My son knew that we were so anxious and did not know how to make progress, and he really wanted to make us angry.
But he argued: "You don't understand. This industry is very profound. The industry has inside information. You have to pay more money to pass it. Moreover, the questions are biased and have nothing to do with the major. There are few people who can pass it. This is the unspoken rule of the industry."
My child's father and I shook our heads and sighed. We blamed us for not knowing the facts. Now our son has to tell it. We think that if my son graduated from a prestigious university, his IQ must be higher than ours, right?
I continued to persuade my son to review and take the fourth exam. My son suddenly said, "No need, I won't study anymore. I want to take the civil servant exam. Now that the epidemic is happening, I can't get much money with this job. It's better to get a job."
My husband and I think my son seems to be right. Civil servants are officials. Although their income is not very high, they make us shine.
The son was very happy, and then downloaded a set of textbooks online. The next day the express delivery was delivered. One was an essay, and the other was an administrative professional ability test .
As a result, my son was stuck in the pile of books again. My father and I still have to go to work. This time I took leave and supervised my son to complete it, because my son has graduated from university for more than half a year, and I am really afraid that his future will be dim.
result, my son told me, "There is no need to supervise me. I graduated from a prestigious university and took the civil service exam. That's simply easier."
I still supervised my son for a month. Later, I saw that my son was very diligent, so I continued to work.
Results Half a year later, my son finally got the civil service exam. My child’s father and I were overjoyed. My son will definitely do it this time. Civil service seems to be relatively simple. I have a relative and daughter who is an ordinary undergraduate student, let alone 985 schools.
06
But reality is very skinny. My son failed the first time he took the imperial examination, which is far from the score line.
My husband told me that he refused to work hard and devoted his time and energy to playing games and did not read books seriously at all. Has he been led by his classmates in college?
The son said, "No, it's because the questions were too biased, and I didn't take the exam for the one I focused on."
My wife and I had no choice but to let my son wander there.
He often tells us that he wants to take the postgraduate entrance examination, then take the teacher qualification certificate, and also says he wants to study abroad. I really don’t know whether he is really so urgent or is it fake.
I only know that although he did not know anything in the past, he could take exams, but now he really knows nothing.
He has no sense of survival and thinks that his parents will support him for the rest of his life.
Indeed, he was afraid of being beaten by society when he left society, so he simply hurried at home. I really wanted to sweep him out.
07
I didn’t find a job, but my life was a mess. He had a bad living habit, never cleaned his room, no anxiety at all, and didn’t look for a girlfriend. He was 24 years old, but he was like a minor child. Whenever he was hungry, he ordered takeaway. Then I had to spend more than 30 yuan on a meal. When I had no money, I said, "Mom, I don't dare to take it with dad. Please support me."
What else can I do? I can only send the money. That is my dear and my ancestor.
Just like that, my son was not found by civil servant and he just had to live all day. Once I accompanied him to a clothing store, and a piece of clothing cost more than one thousand yuan. After he put it on, he walked around. The meaning is very obvious. You have to pay even if you pay, and you have to pay even if you don’t. It’s a must.
has always been like this, and I was so angry that my son was so angry that my liver was very angry.
08
Not only that, his expenses at home are also very expensive, which is similar to when he was in college. When he was in college, he pretended to be rich, which made our parents suffer. When he is at home, he has to pretend to be a big brother. Every time his son treats him, others have become foodies. If he doesn’t have to finish a meal without a 300 or 500 yuan, he will not be able to finish a meal.
Every time he tells me, "Now these days, connections are the most important. Jack Ma has said that emotional intelligence is more important than IQ."
My husband and I have nothing to say and let him quibble.
Every time he gets money from us, he always says, "Don't I look for a job anymore? I'll give you all the salary at that time."
I feel upset. Not to mention whether to give us the salary or not, it's a problem to find a job to support him.
He just lived through every day and became a true leniency. Every time I make excuses, I say that the epidemic is going on, and that I want to go to Beijing to try it out.
In fact, I have also known Jack Ma. Jack Ma said well: "Think about thousands of roads at night and walk the same way in the morning."
's son responded to this sentence, he was anxious, but not anxious, as if money and his wife had nothing to do with him.
09
My husband and I never expected that my son, whom I worked so hard to raise, would not be able to survive if he came into society.
Thinking of the years we have been worried about our son, but we didn’t expect the end to come, and suddenly we couldn’t walk.
Son, you still want us to worry about you now. You are only a little bit away from the finish line now, and you still don’t know how to be enterprising. Did your parents make you wrong in forcing you to study for so many years?
The son either takes his friends out to play, eats barbecue, goes shopping, travel, or plays games at home and lives a down-and-out life.
Once, it was already midday. When we opened the room, my son was sleeping all afternoon with his head covered. There was still a game page on the computer desk, so he must have been all night.
There is a takeaway on the table and I eat half of the food. Seeing him lying on the bed and sleeping with a horoscope, my husband was furious and quickly scolded him for getting up.
But not only did my son not get up, he also got angry. He said, "I didn't have a job because of the epidemic. Now the epidemic in Guangzhou and Shenzhen is so serious. Can I blame me? Did I do it?"
My husband only said one sentence, but his son refused ten sentences, which made me very angry. This little bastard is because I spoiled him too much.
10
Xiaolong didn't find his job, but he still looked like he was hanging high, as if everything was enough with us. I don't know why Xiaolong was like this. He thought that his ten years of hard work were for himself and had nothing to do with our hopes.
After discussing with my child's father, I finally found a job among the few relatives. For this job, my child’s father and I bent down, and our faces were also lost by this college student.
However, we thought to ourselves that this is our heart and it is worth it to do anything for him.
But his son just perfunctory me. When he first heard about working at the bank counter, he was happy, but after three days, he came back in disgrace.
He said that the bank's work is not the same as his major, and the counter work is too boring and boring. He doesn't like it like a robot.
I retorted: "There are a few jobs in the world that you like. Are others willing to work? Just just go there."
Because my son suddenly left and didn't even say hello, it was impossible to go back. My son said he couldn't afford to lose that person, so he would find another job.
My child’s father and I had no choice but to do anything to him, and we said he was the young master and his life was too precious.
11
My husband and I discussed several times and were worried about Xiaolong's future, but my son still had a leisurely and contented attitude.
We no longer require Xiaolong to be a boss or a corporate executive, even if it is just a small employee who can rely on himself.
However, Xiaolong has always been unable to rely on himself, so we will adjust the requirements lower, which is already so low as long as Xiaolong can let us make less subsidies.
Xiaolong is still unmotivated and has a low eye. We ask him to adjust his mentality and stop thinking about what kind of famous college student he is. Treat yourself as an ordinary person.
We finally understand that what my son lacks is not knowledge, but survival consciousness. He had no problem with his brain, but he had no tension at all.
He does not have a down-to-earth mentality and thinks that he is a famous college student and must sit in the office.
's son said he would take the postgraduate entrance examination. I said, "No need, you'd better go to work and practice, otherwise you will have the only way to take the exam."
's son said, "Then go to Beijing. I heard that Beijing is very romantic and can make a lot of money. I will definitely make a fortune."
I just smiled. When my son encounters setbacks, he understands that it's the same wherever he doesn't have the ability to go, so let him go on a trip.
Results My son really came back from Beijing half a month later and lost weight. In addition to chatting about the bad environment in Beijing, he finally admitted that he was not capable.
12
We asked my son to be a deliveryman. My son not only disliked the hard work of delivering food, but also disliked the low status of takeaways, saying that only junior high school graduates would do such things.
Under our pressure, my son worked as a temporary worker for a period of time and worked as an accountant in a company that records accounting and filed taxes. I recommend it.
But he disliked the low salary, and the amount of less than 4,000 yuan a month was not enough for him to spend, so he ran away after working as a temporary worker for more than a month. After
, he went to a company that didn't know. He seemed to be a credit worker. He ran away after working for more than a month. He told us: "I really feel unbalanced when working with people who graduated from high school."
13
It's like this. Several years have passed. His son Xiaolong is still standing still. He can't do a job for a long time and steadily, and his mentality is getting worse and worse.
He finally admitted that knowledge does not equal ability. But what I want to know is why can he become the King of Honor?
Alas, the child’s father was about to retire, and I was at the age to retire, but for the sake of Xiaolong, I had to stay at my post because if we didn’t stay at this post, we would have no money to live.
If the son thinks about thousands of roads at night and still walks the same way in the morning, it is still a good thing, but the problem is that he didn't even think about it.
My child's father and I were at work and said to him, "If you don't go out to work, your father and I will work until we are 80 years old. Can we support you for a lifetime?"
's son said, "Don't there still money at home? Retire, when I get my salary to support you, I'm hiding my strength and resting my time."Don’t work so hard. It’s not worth it to use your life to make money now. ”
It sounds like my son is very filial, but the tone of his son's speech is completely joking, and he still doesn't feel anxious.
14
I discussed it with my husband many times in private. I traced the root cause and was still too spoiled with the child. He seemed to only know how to play all day long. He used to think that studying was also a play, but now he has to work, but he can't play.
He has no practical ability, this is the biggest problem. My father and I have worked hard all our lives. Although we do not have a high education, we can be self-reliant, but the child cannot be self-reliant. After all, we have never suffered. Until now, we still think that his parents are millionaires.
We always think that sending our son to college is the end of the universe. In the future, our son will be happy, but the result is a mess because of life outside of college. Even longer.
When people reach middle age, the most heartbreaking and disappointing thing is not their career, but their son's future. The most powerless one is watching the child live a step by step, which is worse than himself. Only those who have felt this kind of heartbreak can deeply understand it.
15
I think my husband and I are not cruel enough. I should obey the words of relatives and friends, This child who is shameless in his parents drove him out of the house and let him eat and live by himself. When he is desperate, he will start from the grassroots level and then he can reliably become self-reliant.
Because if the child is no longer born with nature and no longer able to support himself, my husband and I will really be depressed.
We now deeply understand that cultivating children's ability to make a living is more important than supervising children's reading and learning, and practice is more important than theory.
