01
There are many things that you don’t believe when you are young, but you will believe them after you are fifty.
As age goes by, life experiences become richer and insights become deeper. Suddenly looking back, you will find many detours that you have to take, and many dreams that you have to give up.
You have great ambitions, but the world has abused you thousands of times. You will eventually lose to reality.
When we reach retirement, look at the people around us. People who live better have fewer friends and are "too lazy to talk."
In the final analysis, only by being yourself and pleasing yourself can you do what you want.
02
Young friends, don’t look at your face.
Zixia asked Confucius , what is filial piety?
Confucius said: "Color is difficult."
As parents, when we were young, we tried our best for our children. When you get old, you still have to look at your children's faces to eat. Isn't that uncomfortable?
If it weren't for making a living, I guess you wouldn't look at anyone's face when you were young. You don't want to feel wronged while gritting your teeth and persevering.
The workplace is the main place to make money, and it inevitably depends on your appearance. You must have experienced the situation of crushing people to death at the official level. There is no absolute "equality" in the world.
After leaving the workplace, do you still want to look at your face? Think about it seriously, you are still worried about the expressions of your children, let alone the expressions of outsiders.
When a person has no worries about food and clothing and has a little money in his hand, his life should be "happy and carefree". If your actions are restricted by "face", it means you don't understand.
In the former Shu period, there was a wealthy businessman named Deng who had nothing to do, so he found someone to play chess. So there are a lot of chess friends.
One of his friends, An Chongba, was the governor of Jianzhou.
An Zhongba bullies others. Every time he plays a chess piece, if he wants to think about it for a long time, he also asks Deng Fushang to stand at the window and not disturb his own thoughts.
played chess all day long and lost more than ten pieces. Deng Fushang was tired and hungry.
In desperation, Deng Fushang took out some money and sent An Chongba away. From then on, he was no longer interested in chess games.
Many old people like to go fishing, play chess, square dance, sing, etc. It's good to have hobbies, but don't force yourself to join relevant groups, and don't call everyone in the group brothers or besties.
Because you regard "people in the group as friends", there is a high probability that you will do something with your friends for the sake of face, which will make you feel very uncomfortable. It seems that you are always being led by the nose.
makes two analogies.
You like fishing, but for a certain period of time, you don’t want to go fishing. A friend invites you to go fishing, but you are too embarrassed to refuse, so you can only reluctantly accompany you.
When you are very tired, someone calls you to go square dancing. Because of your friend's favor, you went and ended up even more exhausted.
In the past, you had to make friends in order to "make the road easier"; in retirement, in order to "live yourself", you insist on making fewer friends.
Give everyone a smile when you see them, but not as friends; have your own hobbies, but don't let the "hobby circle" interfere with your life. By doing this, the distance between people can be controlled by yourself.
03
Speak less and stay away from right and wrong.
Diseases enter through the mouth, and disasters come out of the mouth. The truth is easy to understand, but not many people do it. Especially among the elderly, "nagging" seems to have become a standard habit.
My classmate Lao Zhang once said such a thing.
When he was working in Shenzhen, he rented a garage in a community in Longgang .
As soon as Lao Zhang put down his luggage, Aunt Zhang from upstairs came to ask, what kind of work do you do? Are you unemployed? Do you want to change to a better room?
Lao Zhang casually said "no need".
As a result, the aunt upstairs looked unhappy and spread rumors everywhere, saying that Lao Zhang was an unemployed person and his life would be difficult. Everyone should be careful, maybe Lao Zhang will do things like deception and abduction because of his poverty.
In fact, Lao Zhang worked in a large company and received good salary, but he didn't find a suitable house for a while, so he had to make do with it for a while.
The words of the aunt upstairs made him very angry.
The habit of nagging will make it difficult for the elderly and the people around them to have a good relationship. Even your own family members will be harmed.
There is an example in " The Weakness of Human Nature ": The writer Tolstoy published his own book and gave the income to those in need. However, his wife loved money as much as her life, complained hard, and accused Tolstoy, Even threatening to jump into a well. As a result, Tolstoy had a bad relationship with his wife and often ran away from home.
Many young people have not found a partner and are afraid of their parents’ nagging, so they refuse to go home during the Chinese New Year; or they bring a rented girlfriend home to pretend to be in front of their parents, waste money, and have nothing but joy.
Xunzi has a saying: "If you speak wisely, you will know; if you speak silently, you will also know."
Old people should not be " packages asking about ", they should hide the trivial things they know, and when appropriate, remain silent.
Too many words will turn into rumors if they are spread by tens or hundreds of people. Even to your own children, don't nag, say less, and your children and grandchildren will have their own blessings.
On the other hand, those old people who talk less are more popular. In the eyes of outsiders, he is very cultivated and capable of self-discipline.
Keeping your mouth in check does not mean not saying anything, but paying attention to the method and method, and distinguishing the occasion.
To outsiders, talk politely and extend a warm hand when needed. Kind actions are worth a thousand words.
For family members, objectively analyzes problems and imparts experience. Allow your children to make small mistakes and have flaws in their lives. Use actions of love to influence your children. To your lover, hold hands more often and blame less.
on the Internet, don't talk nonsense and become a transmitter of negative energy.
If the situation is unclear, you need to observe it and don't speak; if the situation is very clear, you need to analyze it and stop there; if it has nothing to do with you, don't say a word.
04
Writer Thoreau lived alone by Walden Pond for a long time and realized: "A person's wealth is directly proportional to the number of things he can give up."
In this life, people have to give up and gain. After retirement, you should grasp what you give up and what you get.
faded away the prosperity of life and lived a plain life; gave up the troublesome workplace and gained a happy family; let go of the idea of being gregarious and enjoyed the state of loneliness.
has retired, but you still have some residual energy. Some of it will be given to those in need, and some of it will warm yourself.
Author: Commoner.
Pay attention to my words and enter your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.
