Text/Bei Dao - I agree very much with a passage in "Song in the Clouds": "I used to think that as long as I was good to people, people would also be good to me. If I treat people with sincerity, people will naturally treat me with sincerity. But later on I know it’s not true, peo

text/Beidao

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I very much agree with a passage in "Song in the Cloud":

"I used to feel that as long as I treat people well, people will definitely treat me well. I treat people with sincerity, and people will naturally treat me with sincerity. I, but later I learned that it was not the case. People in this world are very complicated. "

For thousands of years, people have been emphasizing that is more compassionate than others. However, some people are unable to compare their hearts with others.

Sometimes, what you are full of joy in exchange for may be the scorn of others; what you get in exchange for your deep affection may be other people’s pickiness.

This kind of overt dislike can also make people wary. What they are afraid of is the enthusiasm on the surface and the contempt behind it.

People who interact with you like this are actually just the other person looking down on you. There is no need to continue to have a close relationship. Your time and energy should always be reserved for the right person.

01.

Cynical and disgusting with you

Have you ever met such a person?

You are motivated to do something, but he pours cold water on you; you bought a piece of clothing that you like, but he has no scruples and says it is ugly; he finally accepted a project, but he joked: "Can you do it?"

When hearing such words, few people can stay in a happy mood, and sometimes they even think seriously about why the other person said that.

Maybe at the beginning, you may think that the other person is just too straightforward, but when a person is always like this, it is actually because he looks down on you, which is why he is always sarcastic and sarcastic towards you.

reminds me of a story about Yu Huanshui and his apprentice in "I am Yu Huanshui".

Yu Huanshui's performance was so poor that he had no choice but to ask his apprentice for help. He just hoped that the apprentice would give him a few unwanted clients. Unexpectedly, the apprentice directly said: "Master, man, it's OK to hurt your legs, but not your brain."

This sentence made everyone laugh at Yu Huanshui. Many colleagues took him as a joke, while his apprentice stood aside and was very proud, as if he had done something good.

was thinking when watching this paragraph, why is his apprentice like this?

Dislike the poor and love the rich is the answer.

Because he dislikes the poor and loves the rich, he looks down on his failed master. What is hidden in the cynicism is his true character, and he looks down on the appearance of a person.

But why should we continue to maintain such a relationship?

There may indeed be people who are sarcastic about themselves, but there are also people who have been supporting themselves. It is often the latter who everyone needs to interact with.

02.

Always too busy to ignore you

I had dinner with a friend some time ago. During the dinner, my friend’s cell phone rang for a long time, but he just opened it and took a look, and then turned it off without caring.

was curious and asked him what happened?

He was stunned and said, "It's nothing. I'm just a relative who asks me for help all the time. He's so annoying, so don't worry about him."

From his mouth, I heard his true evaluation of his relatives, mainly "It's useless", "Nothing to do", "Too many things to do"...

It seems that we are like this many times. We really care about a person and can wait for the other person to send messages at any time. We even take the time to reply when taking a shower, but we don't care about a person. Even if you are really not busy, you will subconsciously ignore it.

Just like the boss's call, many people dare not not answer the call, but when faced with calls from subordinate employees, they sometimes selectively ignore them.

What is shown in these neglects is that they don’t care and they also look down on them.

Especially when a person keeps ignoring you, they don’t listen to you when you have an opinion, they pretend they didn’t see any messages you sent, and when you ask him for help and he tries to evade you in every possible way, there is no need to doubt that this is evidence of contempt.

I remembered a sentence I once read: "Don't bother those who never contact you, and don't break your heart to someone who doesn't care about you."

People who think highly of you will not ignore any of your words, but People who look down on you will treat a lot of key information as garbage. This is the difference.

03.

Obviously making mistakes and not apologizing

Some time ago, I came across a very meaningful video.

The mother took her child for psychological consultation. During the period, she kept complaining that the child was difficult to manage, disobedient, and too rebellious to communicate with her.

The family psychologist first asked the mother: "Have you ever made mistakes in front of your children?"

She said: "No, I do everything for his good, but he is ungrateful, dissatisfied and irritating."

Consultant Then he quietly asked the child: "Do you think your mother made a mistake?"

The child said: "Yes, she did not count. She promised to accompany me to play the Ferris wheel during the summer vacation, but when the summer vacation came, she said she had no time."

Consultation The counselor then asked the mother: "Why don't you want to take your child to the Ferris wheel?"

Unexpectedly, the mother immediately became angry and turned around to find the child. After being pulled by the consultant, she said: "I also have to go to work, how can I have so much time?" , It’s not just to make money for him.”

After the mother said, the consultant said: “That’s the problem. You never feel that you are wrong. You always feel that you are superior to others. The more arrogant you are in front of your children, the more prominent you are. How can a child raised in this way be obedient and sensible despite the fact that you look down on him at all, because you are not sensible? "

In this story, the child must depend on his mother for life, so he is often ignored.

In real life, the same is true. When one person looks down on another person, even if they know they are wrong, they will not apologize because it is not worth it. They will even make various excuses for themselves. Hide your mistakes.

04.

Someone asked before: "What should I do if I am looked down upon by others?"

Maybe you have been targeted everywhere, often ridiculed, and often ignored, but this kind of contempt can be avoided. Here are some ways There is only one thing - to strengthen yourself.

Writer Li Shanglong once said:

"If you are not strong enough, then those social interactions are actually of no use. Only equivalent exchange can you get reasonable help."

A strong person has his own ability. The number of people asking for his help will increase, and naturally no one will ignore him, and no one will dare to sneer at him.

When others look down on you, maybe it is because the other person has a bad character, but you should always learn to protect yourself.

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