Once upon a time, when I was young, it was the end of my junior high school life. In those days, everyone was busy facing the last exam of this period. I clearly remember that one morning, I walked from the dormitory to the classroom with a thick book in my arms, and my mind was

Once a teenager

It was the end of junior high school life. In those days, everyone was busy facing the last exam of this period.

clearly remembers that one morning, he walked from the dormitory to the classroom with a thick book in his arms, and his mind was filled with weird numerical symbols in the book. On the steps at the back door of the classroom, I felt a small thing fall from the sky, and when I looked, I saw a small paper ball on the ground. Looking up, a boy named Tao was standing at the door, looking at me with an unguessable look. After a slight hesitation, I picked it up and unfolded it with a "fearless" spirit. It was a small piece of paper with very delicate characters. I read it at a very fast speed. It was just a few sentences, but I understood its meaning. However, I was surprisingly calm at that time, without the panic and confusion of a teenager at all. Rolling it up and throwing it away, this series of actions was completed in a few seconds, and then he walked to the classroom as if nothing had happened.

From the front door to the back door, I have forgotten the story that just happened.

In the next few days, I was as calm as water, still talking and laughing, without any sign of being sentimental or preoccupied, as if nothing had happened. But occasionally, I could catch a glimpse of uneasiness, or a bit of expectation, flashing in Tao's eyes. I didn't want to think too much and just focused on my knowledge - I was a student and I had to take exams.

Those stressful days finally passed, and I finally entered the gate of a higher education institution as I wished. He failed because his grades were not good. When I stood in front of the red list with a victor's attitude, I saw his figure from a distance, dragging for a long time in the twilight of the setting sun.

Since then, there has been no contact.

In the days to come, I will go my own way. Studying, working, everything goes well. By chance, I learned a little bit about him and found out that he was not doing well. Although this is not necessarily related to me, I still vaguely think of that distant story: that early morning, the boy with bright eyes stood at the door, conveying his youthful feelings in a childish but unique way. That little ball of paper is not really a love letter, it is just a young boy's budding impulse, or even just a kind of purity and trust. Or, he just wants to express a kind wish - "I am a good girl" - in his heart. That kind of feeling should be very calm and brilliant. But I was ignorant and indifferent, and my expectations and confidence were dampened. To that young man who had just entered the world, I may have brought more than just this "failure".

It should be said that at that time and place, my wishes were undoubtedly right, but there was a better way than indifference. If it were now, I would help him get through the confusion of his youth in another way. Let him read the innocence and strength of friendship in my sincere smile, and let us get out of that beautiful "mistake" that anyone can make in youth.

was first drafted in 1998.6

was finalized in 1999.7