Hello everyone, my name is Xiaobei. Recently, many people's emotions have been affected by entering higher education, whether it is the college entrance examination or the high school entrance examination. It’s the graduation season again, and I feel all kinds of anxieties surrou

Hello everyone, I am Xiaobei.

Recently, many people's emotions have been affected by entering higher education, whether it is the college entrance examination or the high school entrance examination. It’s the graduation season again, and I feel all kinds of anxieties surrounding me.

As a "diver", I chose to quietly watch the other people in the group discussing and complaining. I only had one thought: raising children is not easy.

During this period of time, my brain has been filled with this information. Even if I am not in the vortex, I feel upset, let alone those who are in or close to the vortex.

I admit that it is indeed a bit of a nonchalant attitude, and I cannot well understand their worries and anxieties.

Because no matter what I say, they will have a hundred reasons to refute me, and the most unacceptable thing to me is: "You don't understand this, don't talk about it if you haven't experienced it."

Okay, I shut up. Heeheehee

I don’t usually see people talking about these topics, but when this time comes, they start to talk about the topic of entering a higher school almost uniformly. I think it was the influence of the external environment that forced these people to become nervous and anxious.

I will also participate in it at the beginning, making a bubble to show that I am online.

After many days of continuous and intensive discussions without any effective information, I chose to dive into the deep sea. Choose to leave and do your own thing.

Nowadays, anxiety arises at every turn, and people are always in a tense state.

Sometimes I really think they think too much. Constantly thinking about things that have not happened yet can consume people.

On a question, everyone stands from different angles and in different directions. Once different opinions and arguments arise, a war of words will break out in an instant.

Some interpretations make people wonder if I am not in this time and space. Or is it that we are not the same species? Maybe my thinking is too simple.

has become particularly obvious in recent years, with various confusing reasons and remarks.

01

suddenly thought of a book review of "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise" by Liu Lian, who was recently "excavated by archeology".

is just a sudden association. I don’t know why I thought of this. No discussion will be made here. For those who are interested, please find out for yourself.

Then I thought of some words papi sauce said in the latest " Thirteen Invitations to ":

"Around 18 or 19 years, I began to clearly feel that the public opinion on the Internet had become very strange, and the extreme voices were very "

" You can't make fun of her. If you make fun of her, it will be considered disrespectful. "

" saw her helplessness.

For various reasons, many people have retreated to the "safe zone", and many things appear weaker, even inexplicable.

The most obvious thing is that people cannot accept 1 minute of video and reading, but they can accept 59 seconds. Just like it is acceptable for an item to be priced at ninety-nine dollars, but not ten dollars. Even ten bucks is better than nine bucks.

A friend once complained to me that the refrigerator at home was broken and he had no money to replace it with a new one. But within a few days, he turned around and bought a game console worth several thousand yuan.

I can only say that there is nothing wrong with this. Everyone’s consumption concepts and preferences are different.

02

Recently, I feel more and more emotional fluctuations, which are really powerful.

will either slowly erode, be destroyed, or collapse instantly.

cannot comment on anything objectively because his own emotions will be swayed. If there were no emotional ups and downs at all, this kind of person would make people feel extremely scary.

I don’t believe that there are people in the world who have no emotional ups and downs at all. Such people are strong and lack a shoulder to lean on, but I prefer to believe that such friends are protecting themselves.

I once saw a psychology article about the introduction of emotions. I agree with some of the views in it. The general meaning is as follows:

Once people face some things or pictures that are too intense and exceed their psychological endurance limit, When speaking, he will selectively avoid it.

Because they can't bear it, they choose to isolate these emotions.

selectively forget, selectively do not touch, do not read the sealed information. "Pretend" that you can't feel it, that you haven't encountered it, that you are not affected, and that you won't have such fluctuating emotions.

Originally it should have been very sad when this happened, but due to my pretense and selective avoidance or forgetting, I felt as if I was not that sad anymore and didn't care anymore.

That is what many people say, "When the added value of emotion reaches a certain amount, people often choose to remain silent."

For example, a man will not shed tears easily. But some of us may only know this sentence, but don't know that there is another sentence behind it, "It's just not sad yet."

That's why I feel that many people are actually protecting themselves and adding multiple layers of buffs to themselves.

03

This reminds me of emotional isolation.

is not aware of his own emotions, nor can he feel the emotions of others, and has no ability to empathize.

seemed to be surrounded by a layer of transparent objects.

Through this layer of wrapping, we can see each other clearly, but we cannot feel each other. We are like big transparent bubbles floating in the sea, looking at each other but not feeling it.

could not detect any breath through his eyes. What he could see were two bottomless eye holes after the skin and flesh had faded away.

Everything has two sides or even many sides, and the same is true for emotional isolation.

It can allow us to temporarily withdraw from pain, prevent ourselves from getting too deep when suffering difficulties and sufferings, reduce pain, and relieve mental stress.

can also stimulate subjective initiative after calming down. Of course, this is not all, but it will have such an effect. Some people even develop the tenacious willpower to motivate themselves to face difficulties and overcome them.

This reminds me of the deeds of the classmate (Little A) who took the law exam that teacher Luo Xiang often mentioned.

I'm very sorry, I really can't remember the name of that classmate, so I will call him classmate A from now on, but your deeds not only touched Teacher Luo Xiang, but also touched many people, including me.

A classmate took the college entrance examination, but failed to do well and failed to enter the ideal university. Then someone told him that if he wanted to go to college, he could pay directly, and there would also be corresponding graduation certificates and degree certificates.

Since he didn’t really want to reread it, he did this. I thought that I might be able to achieve a counterattack in the future.

So, after entering university, he worked very hard and was determined to take the postgraduate entrance examination. Put in more sweat and effort than others.

Through hard work, Student A successfully passed the postgraduate entrance examination and also passed the law examination. Just when he thought everything was going smoothly, his undergraduate diploma was found to be fake.

So, everything was in vain.

If it were you, how would you choose? I believe that some people will give up on themselves, complain and be angry, and may never recover.

However, student A chose a completely different path.

Adjust your mentality and start over.

spent a year and a half to obtain his undergraduate degree through self-study examination. Then he took the law exam and the postgraduate entrance exam again, and finally passed both again. Student A realized his original dream in another way.

If it were me, I wouldn't be like classmate A, because I don't have the courage and perseverance like him.

The reason why I mentioned this is to tell everyone that even if we miss the sunset, we can still look forward to the sky full of stars.

04

buffer zone is not a breeding ground or sustenance.

Even if we choose to "protect ourselves, avoid harm, and forget some unhappy things."

But in fact, the problem still exists and we need to solve it. If you leave it alone, it will not disappear out of thin air, nor will you see the stars in the sky after the sunset.

Things always need to be solved. After calming down, face it bravely. This is what we should do, instead of escaping from everything more habitually and becoming a shell hiding in the dark shadow.

Don’t be Dracula who smokes when exposed to light, don’t be someone who runs away from trouble.

If it continues for a long time or even worsens, it will have a bad impact on yourself and the people around you.

So what can we do to improve?

After reading many examples, I think the most critical point is: "Really accept yourself from the heart, inside and out."

Face everything about yourself, including the good, the bad, the unbearable, and even the humiliation, etc. wait.

everything.

I know, this is difficult, really difficult. But only in this way can we understand and accept ourselves bit by bit.

Get out of the darkness, open your heart, and embrace the sunshine.

People are different. Each person’s appearance, voice tone, way of doing things, tone of voice, texture of hair, touch of skin, and temperature of palms are all different.

Even if we activated the self-protection mechanism at a certain period or in a certain incident because a certain person was greatly hurt.

But you can still feel it a little bit. Different people, different things, different temperatures and touches bring you different changes.

and subtle changes in your fragile emotions.

Don’t keep locking yourself in the jar of the past.

has proven that good psychological cues can be changed slowly, so why not give it a try.

kept cheering myself up and telling myself that I could do it.

05

If we become the kind of people who have no emotional ups and downs at all, it would be really scary.

For this reason, in addition to fully accepting yourself, there are other ways to relax yourself, that is, drawing and writing.

Some of us are not willing to completely open our hearts to other people, even close relatives, and we don’t want to be unreserved in front of them.

will feel like a piece of meat on a chopping board.

Let alone confide in your heart.

Through painting, we can immerse ourselves in it.

Through color, large areas of color blocks, bright, dark, irregular, you must know that color has an energy effect.And this has long been proven.

Color can affect our subconscious mind.

We express our hearts through painting, bypassing the interference of language and immersing ourselves in it. It is effective for some people.

In addition to painting, there is also writing.

When some people are angry, they like to write it out to achieve the purpose of venting. Play the role of releasing emotions.

also bypasses language to relax yourself as soon as possible and get rid of anxiety and uneasiness.

You can also find a way that suits you better to relieve the problem.

is written at the end:

In our lives, there are many things rolling around every day.

is like scalding boiled water. It becomes hot to the touch. It becomes sweet when you add sugar, becomes salty when you add salt, and becomes dirty when you add paint. Pour it into a cup, cool it and drink it to relieve our thirst.

Everyone knows that people cannot stay away from water for a long time.

have also heard some words, educating us to be like water. It can take different forms in any container, but many of its forms can hurt us.

Should we hate it and give up on it?

The answer is no.

At least you are having all kinds of bad emotions about it. Before it hurts you, the most fundamental thing is your need for it and that you can't live without it.

Every touch and beauty you encounter in life is an opportunity to heal yourself and grow.

Don’t live for most of your life, or even your whole life, without knowing what you want most and what your true inner thoughts are.

Thank you to the friends who have seen this. Life is beautiful, and everyone must take good care of themselves.

Best wishes and good night.

Good Night

2022.6.30

Xiaobei.Chongqing