"Mom, take a break, look at you, you have to go to work before your illness has recovered. How can you bear this body? It's not that I think you are old, but that you are really over fifty years old, and your physical fitness is not so good. You can't overdraw your body like a young man. It's easy to get into trouble."
"I know, but there is no way. Your brother is still in school and will get married in the future. That's an astronomical figure. How can you do not work hard to make money? It's okay, I'm very lucky. Both children are good and respectful. You don't have to worry when you get old. When I can't do it, you siblings will take care of me."
Not long ago, Aunt Li fell ill and forced her to go to work. As a result, something almost happened and was sent back by her colleagues. Aunt Li was afraid of spending money and said that she had an old problem and refused to go to the hospital. She rested at home for two days and took medicine. She just got a little bit better, so she insisted on going to work, just because she was less work, so she got less salary.
My daughter was worried about her body and persuaded her, but when she thought that her son would get married and start a family, it would take a lot of money, Aunt Li could only grit her teeth and hold on.
In fact, Aunt Li’s experiences and ideas are portrayals of the real lives of most middle-aged people.
At this age, although children are adults and can support themselves, there are really few children who can live a good life on their own and not worry about their parents. Most of them need subsidies or even support from their parents, and they need their parents to pay for them to get married, and parents need to take care of their children and raise their grandchildren.
"Thirty Only", Gu Jia The father said: Children are our debts in our previous lives. If you don’t have the ability, let’s act as the ferryman’s boat. Before closing your eyes, you can deliver it wherever you can.
says that children should be independent and should not spoil their children. However, as parents, they should watch their children suffer and suffer, and they have to sit idly by and watch them ignore them every day. Most people are reluctant to pay attention to them.
However, as there is a saying on the Internet: "The feelings between people must be mutual. If you don't care about the rewards, you will only cultivate a ungrateful wolf." The same is true for parent-child relationships. No matter how much you love your children, don't ruin yourself. If you just give blindly and don't ask for positive feedback from your children, you may not ruin your children and yourself in the end.
01.
Like Aunt Li, not long ago, Mr. Gu fell ill and was hospitalized due to overwork. However, he was not as lucky as Aunt Li, and he had filial children around him.
After all, when Aunt Li was sick, her daughter took leave and stayed at home to take care of Aunt Li. She didn't let her do housework. Her son, who was in college, called twice a day to ask about the situation and communicated with her sister. She also asked Aunt Li not to work so hard: "Mom, your son, I don't have such a promising future. You have to rely on you to afford a wife. If you are tired for me, how could I live a good life?"
However, Mr. Gu was hospitalized for one week and was miserable: "Son, my son was in a hospital for a week and it was more miserable: "Son," I only made a phone call once, not asking me how I was doing or whether I needed care, but complaining that I was looking for trouble, and I was poor in my body. I stayed in the hospital, not only delayed making money, but also spent money. I kept complaining for more than half an hour. I wanted to explain a few words, but he became more and more angry, and he hung up the phone directly and didn't come to see me, let alone my daughter-in-law, and didn't even make a call. "
The wife cared about Uncle Gu very much and wanted to take care of Uncle Gu, but the daughter-in-law refused to let her go, because if the mother-in-law went to take care of her father-in-law, who would take care of her children? If my mother-in-law runs from both sides of the hospital, that's not OK. What if the virus is brought home from the hospital and it affects them?
To deal with parents-in-law, the daughter-in-law has a killer weapon. If you disagree, you will talk about retirement and mutter, "You go, don't come to my house again in the future, and don't expect us to retirement", which made Mr. Gu and his wife feel helpless.
02.
What made Mr. Gu feel even more heartbroken is that the reason why Mr. Gu got sick is not because he did not pay attention to maintenance, nor because he was doing something wrong, eating and drinking, and not cherishing his body, but because of his children and grandchildren.
"I work two jobs a day, go to work at 7:30 in the morning, get off work at 5:30 in the afternoon, go home and eat a few bites, rest for a while, and go to the restaurant until nearly eleven o'clock. Calculate my working hours, I have to work for more than 15 hours a day."
Young people can't stand such a high-intensity work, let alone Mr. Gu is 59 years old this year, and he is almost at the retirement age. However, Mr. Gu had no choice because his son and daughter-in-law could not take on the responsibility of supporting the family.
"The couple's monthly income is less than 13,000 yuan. When their son got married, we gave our daughter-in-law a 200,000 yuan gift, but we also bought a school district house for our grandson. The mortgage loan will be paid more than 8,000 yuan a month. If we don't help us, will they still have a way out? Alas, I've worked hard to make money, and I can earn 8,000 yuan a month, which is just enough to pay the mortgage loan. . My wife took care of their children and couldn't work, and her pension was more than 2,000, which was enough for us to spend. Only in this way can their financial pressure be reduced. "
Uncle Gu took over the mortgage, and the living expenses of the old couple are also the pension of Mr. Gu's wife. Logically speaking, even if the salary of Mr. Gu's son and daughter-in-law are not high, they should save some money for emergencies, such as the old couple fell ill one day. However, my wife told Uncle Gu that his son and daughter-in-law were angry at home, saying that Uncle Gu was sick and could not continue to make money. If his salary was not high, what should I do? In other words, they are also moonlight tribes and cannot even get a month's mortgage.
"Relatives came to see me. After hearing about my experience, they called me stupid, saying that we old couple would be squeezed to the last drop by our son and daughter-in-law, and then kicked away, saying that I would never enjoy the blessings of my descendants and have a stable life in my old age. Probably not! We have paid so much for our son, and he cannot be unfilial to this point! Should I ignore them and watch them suffer?"
03.
03.
There is a classic line in "Journey to the West to Conquer the Demons": In life, everyone has their own pain, some pain is inevitable; some pain is a pit dug for themselves.
You will always respond to your children's requests, and have cultivated them into dependents, so that they have no gratitude and dare to threaten you with the obligation to support their parents. They have dug up a pit in their old age life and ruined the path to raising children to prevent old age.
If you continue to be obsessed with it, overdraw your body, and spend all your pension money on unfilial sons, then your own path will be completely ruined.
END.
Today’s topic: Do you have any good suggestions for Mr. Gu? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
