This is the 942nd real person we tell
July 28, 1998, was the most painful day in my life because my son Xiaohai disappeared at the door of his house.
I was as anxious as an ant on a hot pan, searching around while crying. And his biological father, my ex-husband, was indifferent to this, and he didn't ask or look for it, and he was still fooling around outside.
One day, I accidentally heard the neighbors talking and fell to the ground in an instant. How did he lose my son?
(son was three years old)
My name is Yang Huifen, looking for his son Li Jianhai. He was born in 1995. He has a spinning head, double eyelids and big eyes. There is a white birthmark the size of a coin on the right side of his belly button. There is a scalded scar on the finger of his left hand. He was playing at home at the age of 3 and has been missing since then.
1973, I was born in a small mountain village in Songming County, Kunming City, Yunnan Province. I have my brother, my younger brother and I three children at home. My parents are honest farmers.
The year I graduated from elementary school, my brother was admitted to high school. Looking at my parents' hunched backs, I chose to drop out of school and started to help my parents work in the fields.
Everything is generally early in rural areas, especially girls like me who have no education. When he was 19 years old, he met his ex-husband through a matchmaker.
I am more than 50 kilometers apart from him. His father works in the city and his family is good. Although I was in love for a year, because the journey was long and I had never seen each other a few times, I believed the matchmaker's words and decided to get married.
(when I first met my ex-husband)
After getting married, I found that his family's conditions were indeed better than mine, and they all had good food and drinks. But I don't know this person at all, nor can I accept what he does.
He doesn't work well in normal times, and he likes to mingle with a group of friends in society. He is lazy and hates labor, fights and doesn't do anything serious. It is common to not go home at night, and I also like to ignore my parents-in-law.
I remember one night, my mother-in-law had a cold and fever, and she couldn't see the in the village clinic of , so she had to go to the hospital for treatment. That night, he happened to be at home, so he asked him to take his mother-in-law to the hospital, but he just told him not to go. My father-in-law works in the county town, and I feel embarrassed to disturb him for this little thing. In the end, I sent my mother-in-law to the hospital.
No housework at all, no matter how much oil bottle is poured at home, no matter how much work is in the field, no matter how much you think about it. My mother-in-law went to the field to harvest millet and rice. She was so tired that she couldn't even lift her feet when she walked, but she seemed to have not seen it.
(My ex-husband and I married)
Seeing him like this, I really couldn't accept it and was extremely disappointed. He discussed with his parents-in-law and found a job for him. Once he had a job, he could break away from those people and maybe he would turn aside. But his in-laws looked helpless and just sighed constantly.
The ex-husband has an older brother and sister, and he is an old and young man. As the saying goes, the big one loves the little one, and parents all over the world respect their children. At that time, I thought, maybe my parents-in-law spoiled him like this, and as we get married and get married, we will gradually get better.
, but later I found out that this was not the case. I learned from my neighbor that my ex-husband was fighting and was not doing his job properly and was in jail.
I really hate matchmakers, why do I introduce such a partner to me? In that era, in our rural areas, free love was a very "shameful" thing. Most of it was the orders of parents and the words of the matchmaker, but I really didn't expect that I would marry such a person.
(On the left is the former mother-in-law, on the right is the mother holding a son who is less than one year old)
Although my family is poor, my family is kind and upright. My parents told us siblings since childhood, "Work is the most glorious. We rely on our hands to eat and not take advantage of others." Therefore, we three siblings have known to support ourselves and live on our own hands since childhood.
I don’t know what to do when facing such a husband. I also thought about divorceing him, but I was too far away from home and was young, so I didn't dare to make decisions. Just when I was about to discuss it with my parents, I found out that I was pregnant.
Thinking of the child in my belly, I want to cry but have no tears, and I don’t want the child to be short of his parents as soon as he is born. I hope that with my child, he may change.
I was wrong again, just like people often say: You can never wake up a person who pretends to be asleep, and you can never touch a heart that doesn’t love you.
During his pregnancy, he was lukewarm with me. He was happy and stayed at home for a day. He left immediately. I was the one who did the laundry and cooking, and he never interfered.
(When my son was one year old)
What's even more annoying is that before the child was born, he got married with a woman from the neighboring village. My parents-in-law said to him, and I also advised him. No matter what he said, he just didn't listen and was still lying around outside.
After his son Xiaohai was born, he didn't care about it. Sometimes he didn't go home for several weeks, and the child had never taken care of him once. I also truly realized that it is useless to please me again and again and again, and to the dust again and again, but it makes the other party more fearless.
As the child grows up day by day, the expenses are getting bigger and bigger. Although my father-in-law can make money, his family still has a very difficult life relying on him alone.
When my child was over one year old, I went to work in the county town. It was this decision that made me lose my son, and this separation lasted for 24 years.
If time can be repeated, I would rather endure hardships and be with my son at all times. Unfortunately, there is no medicine for regret in the world, only my endless tears of regret.
(Mother holding her son)
My mother-in-law's house is not very far from the county town, only three kilometers away. I work in a factory in the county town, and sometimes I work overtime or night shifts, so I stay in the factory for one night.
Xiaohai is very sensible. When I know that I go out to make money, I will play with my grandma. Sometimes I follow his grandma and never cry.
On July 28, 1998, my mother-in-law went to the field to collect millet, and my father-in-law also went to work, and I didn’t come back in the factory. Only the grandmother was at home, and the mother-in-law entrusted her to look at Xiaohai as usual.
Unexpectedly, at around ten o'clock, the grandmother who was cooking in the house went out to see Xiaohai, but found that he was missing, only his little shovel was placed there.
Usually, when adults get busy, Xiaohai will dig soil at the door with a shovel, and play for the whole morning, without crying or making a fuss.
That day was the same as usual, and the grandmother came out to see him every ten minutes or half an hour. But this time I didn't see the child. The grandma went around looking for it, but couldn't find it. The old man was also panicked and hurriedly asked his uncle to go to the factory to find me.
(photo of my son and I when I was three years old)
When I heard this news, I felt my heart almost jumping out of my throat, my whole body trembled, and then I went crazy and started looking around. I cried and asked passersby and neighbors, but they all said they didn't see it.
htmlThe rural areas in the 1990s were still very backward, and there were very few phones in the village, let alone high-tech things like surveillance and cameras.searched for several days without any results. I realized that I ran to the police station to call the police. The police said there was no clue and could only wait.
The day when the child was thrown away, my ex-husband was not at home and I didn’t know where to eat and drink. But what I couldn't stand was that he knew that Xiaohai had lost, and he was still stumbling around outside, as if he had lost only an item. He felt sad at all. It was such a waste of his father!
And I feel like I have lost my soul every day, I can’t eat or sleep. I was so sad that I could never get out of the shadow of losing my child.
(the uncle carries his son and plays)
The child is lost, but the ex-husband's extramarital affair continues, and he eats, drinks, and gambling is the same. Now that Xiaohai is gone, I don’t even have the strength to argue with him, my heart is ashamed, and I never have the courage to live.
That day, I ran to the reservoir and wanted to die. Just as I closed my eyes and was about to jump down, my son's voice suddenly rushed into my ears: "Mom, Mom!" I was shocked and searched everywhere, and realized it was an hallucination, but I came back to my senses.
pair! I can't die! What should I do if my son dies? If he comes back and can’t find his mother, how should he live?
I just sat next to the reservoir. On that afternoon when I was called Tiantian and didn't respond, I sat for a long time before I returned home.
Later, I accidentally learned from the rumors in the neighboring village that Xiaohai's disappearance was probably because of his intention. I was like five thunderstorm, and I couldn't stand on the spot and sat on the ground.
(When my son was three years old)
Is other people's words trustworthy? The tiger poison is not enough to eat the baby, not to mention that it is his biological son. Can he do it? I was so angry that I went to find him, but he looked like a dead pig was not afraid of boiling water and refused to admit it.
Sometimes I also wonder why my family doesn’t care about the loss of their children? I went there alone when calling the police, and I was looking for the child myself every day, and it seemed that this was not the case for his family.
Is the child's disappearance really related to his ex-husband? My parents-in-law also colluded with him? Thinking of this, I was cold all over, like duckweed in the sea, helpless and unable to even find someone to trust.
At that moment, I was really desperate. I thought that the child disappeared so unknown, and my heart hurt so much that I couldn't breathe. The thought of him as he might be hurt, tears instantly poured down.
Xiaohai is very smart. Although he is only three years old, he can tell the names of his grandparents and parents, and will not follow strangers. He knows not to eat strangers' things.
(I just met with my ex-husband not long ago)
Could it be that the ex-husband owed foreign debts because he gambling and had Xiaohai’s idea? My head buzzed, unable to believe my guess. I was speechless and my mind was filled with my son's shadow, and I felt like I was about to suffocate.
But since his son was lost, he has never asked or asked. Later, his family ignored it, as if it had nothing to do with them. I live in this world like a ghost without a soul, and I can't find someone to share.
Whenever I feel energetic, I will look for my son within a radius of dozens of kilometers in the village. That hateful ex-husband kept causing trouble. In 2000, he committed another crime and went to jail. I filed for divorce and returned to my parents.
But I didn't give up and ran to ask him again, whether he knew Xiaohai's whereabouts, but he always said he didn't know, and my hope was lost again.
(My mother and I are wearing Yi clothes)
My parents only felt distressed when they saw me being haggard and didn't dare to say more, just because they were afraid that I would not be able to think about it and look for a shortcoming. But when I saw that my parents were so old, they still bent down to work on the ground.
In the past few years, I have been busy looking for my son and have no mood to pay attention to my parents, let alone filial piety. I decided to cheer up and live a personal life for my lost son, but also for my elderly parents.
I cheered up and returned to the county town to work. I told my colleagues about my son's affairs, and they all sympathized with me. Whenever there was a clue, I would tell me. I would like to thank my colleagues for their hard work.
When it was late at night, it was the most difficult time for me. I couldn’t help but wonder, where is Xiaohai now? Have you ever had enough food and clothing? When I miss my mother, will I cry and scream? Will the person who adopts him beat him up? The more I think about it, the harder it is to fall asleep.
In order not to think randomly, he works hard and often works overtime. It didn't take long before I fell ill.
(I am now)
Doctor said it was caused by excessive thinking and malnutrition. He also advised me to work hard and keep my body healthy. Only with money and a healthy body can I have the strength to do what I want, including finding a son.
I suddenly realized, as if I saw a glimmer of light in the fog. I have to make money and maintain my health. If one day my son suddenly appears in front of me and sees me like this, I will be disappointed! In the days after
, I shifted my focus to work, working diligently and conscientiously. The boss saw that I was honest and gave me praise again and again. Although he did not return to his previous vitality, he was much better than before.
"As long as I live, I have hope of finding my son." I swear secretly and worked silently. I had no intention of introducing a partner to me, so I refused until I met my current husband.
(Xiaohai and I really miss him)
We were also introduced to each other and were very resistant at the beginning. The shadow of the ex-husband has been there, and I dare not believe in marriage easily. I must consider remarriage carefully, and I also need to find my lost son from time to time.
The introducer said to me: "Marriage is about fate. How can you always meet bad people? You are still young, you have to find a companion. You can't live alone for the rest of your life! This person is honest and trustworthy, you can see everywhere."
I listened to the introducer's advice and planned to try getting along with him. As I get older, I can also roughly see how good or bad a person is.
This person is really good to me. He has no sweet words, but he can always see through my heart and think about me everywhere, including finding a son. He is willing to work hard with me.
He was down-to-earth and willing to work hard and gave me all the money he earned. It was the first time I truly felt the warmth of home. After three years of getting along, in 2006, we officially obtained the certificate. Later, he gave birth to another son, who is already 14 years old, but his longing for Xiaohai remains unabated.
(My current husband and I have a son)
In those years, whenever there was any news of a turbulent situation, my husband would go out with me to search. But the results are not satisfactory, and most of them are storms.
One day in 2018, my husband said that the Internet had developed and the technology had also improved, so he took me to the relative search center in Kunming to register for blood collection. I want to see if I can get some news from Xiaohai through this method. Unfortunately, there is still no news.
As prices grow rapidly, my husband makes money alone, and the pressure is too great. I was pregnant with my youngest son, and he was afraid that I would be tired, so he never worked again. In recent years, I only found another job to share the burden of the family with my husband.
The youngest son is smart and cute, and has good grades. He will be promoted to high school next year. My husband and I want to work hard to make money and support him to go to a good university in the future.
No matter how busy or tired you are, you have never forgotten the wish of finding Xiaohai. Now, we are using the self-media platform to continuously publish various videos, hoping to spread the Internet and find my child as soon as possible.
(This is me now)
is here, I want to thank my husband, his support is my motivation to find my way. Thank you to many netizens, it is your participation and support that I have seen hope and persisted in 24 years of searching for my children.
In my lifetime, as long as I am still alive, I will continue to persevere. I always believe that "If you never forget it, there will be a resounding." I hope this sentence will come true in me.
My Xiaohai is already 27 years old this year, and he must be tall and handsome! Are you already married? Did I be a grandma?
son! Mom misses you so much. I have never forgotten you for 24 years. Where are you, my son? After so many years of separation, do you still remember your mother?
[Oral: Yang Huifen]
[Editor: Fengge]
This case story is provided by @Toutiao Search and has been approved by the parties involved.
We cannot go through different lives, but we can feel the real stories of others here, and each story has real photos! If you like such a true story, please follow us! @Real Person Interview
