Hehua Town, which has always been deserted, has seen thirty pairs of shoes a month getting newer every day amid the upsurge of reform and opening up.
Those who set up stalls and set up food made the whole street lively. When there are many people and things get complicated, many wonderful stories will inevitably arise.
Let’s just talk about a young couple. The man is Luo Daming and the wife is Ye Ruyu.
Not to be outdone by others, the couple set up a clothing stall in a busy part of the street in the name of Ye Ruyu.
Ye Ruyu has a beautiful face and a good figure. She wears a variety of new clothes a few times a day. what? Be a model. She made the young girls circle around her clothing stall, and her business became more and more prosperous.
I would say that Ye Ruyu is good at everything, but he has one shortcoming: he doesn't want to pay taxes. She doesn't understand the principle of citizens paying taxes, she just thinks: Why should I give you the money I have earned so hard? Because the township tax office is about ten miles away from this small town, it is not easy for the tax collector to come, so she can delay and hide whenever possible. Unexpectedly, this delay in avoiding bad things actually caused a fatal disaster.
said that that night, after Luo Daming had dinner, he just stepped out of the door. "Si" couldn't help but sucked in a breath of cold air, quickly retracted his head, closed the door with a "bang", and hurriedly said to his wife: "Ruyu, it's not good. Sister Ke from the township tax office is here to collect taxes."
"Huh?!" Ye Ruyu was shocked. She didn't expect Sister Ke to come to her door at night. She panicked and said , "Then, what should I do?"
"You, you should hide quickly!"
"Where should I hide?"
Yes, a big living person, where can I hide? In the big cabinet? no! Piles of cotton wool; under the bed? No way! Boxes stuffed to the brim.
Seeing Sister Ke getting closer and closer. Luo Daming took his wife and ran to the backyard. As soon as he reached the pig pen, he heard a "dong dong dong" knock on the door from outside.
In desperation, Luo Daming didn't care about anything. When he saw a big bamboo basket next to the pig pen, he suddenly had an idea and picked up his wife.
Ye Ruyu said: "What are you doing?"
Luo Daming said: "It's too late, you can feel aggrieved in the bamboo basket first. Remember, if I don't call you, you must not make a sound!"
Luo Daming didn't care whether his wife was happy or not, so he stuffed her into the basket without any explanation, covered the lid, carried her into the pig pen, and then carried half a sack of feed and pressed the lid on the basket. Then he breathed a sigh of relief and thought to himself : No matter how smart you are, Sister Ke, you would never have thought that there would be people hiding in the pig pen, would you?
Luo Daming knew everything was safe, so he went to open the door. As expected, the person who came in was Sister Ke from the township tax office, and Luo Daming greeted her with a smile.
But when Sister Ke brought up the matter of tax collection, he pushed back and said that the clothing stall was set up by her wife and had nothing to do with him.
Sister Ke is a really nice person. Normally she can take measures against them, but she thought: as a national tax cadre, it is not just a matter of collecting a few dollars, but more importantly, it is to raise the people's awareness of paying taxes consciously, so she They worked tirelessly, walked more than ten miles and stayed up late at night to do their ideological work.
She knew clearly that Luo Daming was trying to evade, but she still did not get angry or annoyed, nor impatient, and patiently promoted the tax law to him.
Luo Daming couldn't stand this. He thought he could send her away with just a few words, but unexpectedly, when he met the slow doctor, Luo Daming was so miserable that he didn't dare to mention it in his heart! Thinking of my wife still squatting in the bamboo basket and being put in the pigsty, how hard is it to suffer? My grandma, just say less! Don’t you just want money? What are you talking about? Seeing that Sister Ke didn't want to leave yet, Luo Daming came up with a plan. Suddenly he covered his stomach with both hands and said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I, I'm going to have diarrhea!"
As a lesbian, a grown man wants to have diarrhea. It was always inconvenient, so Sister Ke stood up and left.
Luo Daming really wanted to push her out of the door with both hands. My God, please walk faster, my wife is still suffering.
After sending the female guest away, Luo Daming couldn't wait and ran to the pig pen. He pulled the light and bang! Look into the pig pen, huh? Where are people? Where's the bamboo basket? Why are they all missing? At first, he wondered if he was confused and remembered the wrong location.
After he searched the pigsty inside and out, he finally felt that something serious had happened: his wife was lost!
At this time, Luo Daming really became the butt of a stone lion and had no way out.
was so anxious that he shouted with a sad face: "It's not good! Someone come quickly! My wife is lost!"
Luo Daming's cry alarmed the neighbors, and everyone rushed over. When they saw Luo Daming, The way he looked, I thought he was out of his mind.
A living woman, not one with a needle or thread, how could she be lost? When I asked him what was going on, he couldn't explain clearly. He was so anxious that he would always say the same thing: "My wife is lost, my wife is lost..." which made everyone even more confused.
At this time, I saw a person walking into the crowd. who? Sister Ke.
It turned out that Sister Ke had not gone far when she heard shouting and shouting here. She didn’t know what happened, so she came back again.
Seeing that Luo Daming was hesitant in speaking, she knew something was fishy, so she asked: "Luo Daming, what is going on? You have to tell the truth, otherwise no one will help you."
At this point, Luo Daming had no choice but to tell the truth. He "confessed" truthfully: "Sister Ke, I am so stupid..." Then he told how he tried to avoid paying taxes, how he put his wife in a basket, how he hid her in a pigsty, and how she disappeared with her in the basket. After saying this once, everyone shook their heads and laughed.
"You really deserve it!" Sister Ke couldn't help but say.
"It's a shame you can do it. Such a fair and tender wife is willing to put it in a basket and put it on top of stinky pig shit!" Several women also complained repeatedly.
"I'm confused, I'm a bastard! Please help me find it, folks!" Luo Daming wanted to kowtow to everyone.
Sister Ke thought: Now is not the time to complain, it is still important to find someone. She said to everyone: "For the sake of the folks in the village, let's split up and help look for it!"
You may ask, where did Ye Ruyu go? It's really funny to say that she was indeed stolen by a thief.
This is even more mysterious. How could such a living person be stolen by a thief? That’s the wonder of the story!
It turns out that there are three babies in the neighboring village, each with their own unique names. One is named Zhang Mazi, one is named Li Leizi, and the other is named Wang Guaizi.
These three are all in the same category, and they usually do some sneaky things.
That night, the three of them conspired to steal a pig to satisfy their greed.
Wang Guaizi was unable to move because of his inconvenient legs and feet, so he stayed in the village sharpening his knife and boiling water in preparation for killing the pigs.
Zhang Mazi and Li Leizi had many clever ideas, so they went outside the village to steal pigs.
They had long inquired about how many big fat pigs Luo Daming had raised in his family, and they heard that they were going to take action in the next few days, so they didn't go to either the East or West family, so they got into Luo Daming's pig pen.
I felt very happy when I saw that there were indeed three or four big fat pigs in the pigsty. But those pigs are quite acquainted with strangers, and they will squeal when strangers come near them.
When the two pig thieves saw the light coming from the house and the sound of voices, they didn't dare to act recklessly.
Just when he was thinking of a clever trick, Zhang Mazi accidentally hit the bamboo basket with Ye Ruyu hidden in it in the dark.
He opened his eyes wide and saw that it was dark inside, huh? It seems to be still moving. It's a pig, a big fat pig. Zhang Mazi is so happy! I thought: When a person is lucky, he will pick up a big gold ingot in his dream.
There is no need to do anything yourself today, the pigs are all packed in baskets, and Luo Daming must be carrying them to the market to sell tomorrow. Sorry, we got a head start.
Zhang Mazi made a few gestures to Li Leizi. The two of them gently lifted down the bag of feed that was pressed on the basket, took out a hemp rope that they had brought with them in advance, crossed the basket again and again, and found a piece of wood. Bang, the two raised their shoulders, walked out of the pig pen quietly, and slipped away.
Ye Ruyu really suffered this time.She did not expect that her husband would come up with this trick and let her be with the pigs.
Needless to say, it was uncomfortable to squat in the bamboo basket. Even the smell of feces had already made me feel sick and dizzy. Now I felt that my body was being moved and swayed. , thinking that something unexpected happened and her husband was "transferring" her.
In addition, her husband had already told her not to say anything unless he called her, so she didn't dare to ask and let the two thieves carry her.
Seeing that the journey was smooth, Zhang Mazi and Li Leizi felt wind at their feet and wished they could fly back to the village immediately.
Unexpectedly, he had a guilty conscience, and the road was dark and narrow at night. Zhang Mazi missed a step and fell to the ground with an "ouch", dragging down Li Laizi behind him.
The bamboo basket also fell heavily to the ground and rolled over a few times. Ye Ruyu was already in a daze, but when she suddenly fell, she just snorted softly and fainted. .
It was only because Zhang Mazi screamed loudly just now that the two thieves didn't hear it.
The two of them got up from the ground, thinking they were unlucky, patted their butts, lifted the baskets again and started on the road, being cautious and not daring to be careless again.
After a while, Zhang Mazi and Li Lezi carried Ye Ruyu to the head of the village.
Wang Guaizi was already waiting there. There was an old thatched hut on the hillside at the head of the village. Wang Guaizi set up a large iron pot and put handfuls of firewood into the stove. The pot of water was boiling hot, and a butcher's knife had been polished until it was shiny. Extremely sharp. There is also a big pig pot next to
. Everything is really ready, just waiting for the fat pig to come.
Now I saw the two men returning in triumph carrying a heavy large bamboo basket. Knowing that they had succeeded, I was very happy and asked: "How is it? Is it enough?"
"It must be a hundred catties." "Zhang Mazi and Li Leizi put the bamboo basket in the corner of the hut and said while wiping the smelly sweat and breathing heavily.
"That's great, you two have contributed a lot. It's enough for our brothers to have a full meal, and we can divide it into dozens of kilograms."
Wang Guaizi held the butcher's knife and said, "Let the pig out and let me kill it. Kill it with one knife."
Zhang Mazi said: "No, it will be difficult to disturb the villagers when the pig is released."
Li Laizi saw the pot of water rolling and said, "I think we should just kill it. It would be easier to throw the bamboo basket into the pot together with the pig."
Wang Guaizi's face darkened and he said, "As you can imagine, if Butcher Zhang dies, he won't eat the whole pig. I, Wang Guaizi, am not dead yet. Just..."
"Okay, stop arguing." Zhang Mazi advised, "I'll just stab it in the basket."
"Look at me!" The two men showed their hands in front of them. He put the butcher's knife in his mouth and bit it. He opened the lid of the basket and reached out to touch the pig's head in order to find the right place to cut the knife. Unexpectedly, he was dumbfounded by this touch. Huh? Why is this pig's head so small? Why are pig hairs so long? Why are pig necks so thin? Is it a hybrid breed or an imported pig? Because there was only a kerosene lamp burning in the hut, it was dim, and the basket was placed in the corner, so you couldn't see clearly. Besides, everyone thought it was a pig, who would have thought it was a human? So Wang Guaizi just felt that this pig was different from other pigs and didn't think anything else. Regardless of foreign pigs, native pigs , and hybrid pigs, the same white knife goes in and a red knife comes out, and they are slaughtered and pulled down. He is holding a bright butcher's knife, hey! As soon as you exert your strength, aim at the mouth of the basket and poke it in. This is really a teapot hanging from the roof beam!
Did Wang Guaizi stab him with the knife? No. The knife he was holding stopped again. What's going on? He suddenly felt that the pig was motionless and did not hum. Is it a dead pig? Alas, I have been busy for a while.
"You two can carry back a dead pig." Wang Guaizi sneered.
"Nonsense! I even saw it moving in the pig pen." Zhang Mazi said unconvinced.
"Come out and see if you fell to death on the road just now?" Li Laizi was still a little worried.
This makes sense.The three people immediately started to turn the basket over on the ground. Zhang Mazi stretched out his hands and dragged the "pig" out with all his strength. When he saw it, the three people were all stunned.
Oh my God, this is not a pig, it is clearly a person, a young and beautiful woman! Look at her: white and tender skin, pretty face, round arms, thick and long thighs, like white lotus roots, charming and eye-catching, everyone who sees it wants to pounce on her and take a bite of her .
Not to mention the pockmarked face, the corners of his mouth were salivating unconsciously.
He leaned down and tried the woman's nose with his hand, wonderful! Still angry. Then he said to those two people: "Okay, it's none of your business. This woman belongs to me."
"No!" Li Laizi had also been seduced by Ye Ruyu's beauty. How could he easily get the white swan? Let Zhang Mazi take it all for himself, nothing in the world is that cheap. He stopped and said:
"Brother, raise your hand, I want this woman."
"You are not afraid of flashing your tongue when you say this. I discovered her first."
"But I also brought her back!" "
"You don't look at your virtue, you're a mess!"
"You don't even urinate and take a picture, your face is pockmarked!"
"Don't blame me for being rude! Don't blame my ruthless men for taking it! "
" Get out! "
Zhang Mazi and Li Leizi have always been idle and do not do their jobs properly. No girl in their thirties would marry them. Now, I haven’t been around a woman yet, and I’m going crazy thinking about women.
Now that I have seen such a beautiful woman, who would be willing to give in to her! As soon as the two quarreled, they started a life-and-death fight, fighting to the death for this woman.
Wang Guaizi not only did not try to break up the fight, but also watched happily from the sidelines. Doesn't he miss Ye Ruyu? No, this guy is just like those two, always thinking about women in his dreams, but his legs are crooked, so he knows that he is no match for those two in a head-to-head confrontation.
Now seeing them fighting each other, he secretly cheered in his heart.
Beat, hit hard, beat to death! After fighting until both sides are injured and unable to move, this woman belongs to me.
hehe! Wang Guaizi is really smart. He came to sit on the mountain and watch the tiger fight, hoping to reap the benefits.
Zhang Mazi and Li Lezi, although ugly in appearance, have a lot of strength. They are rivals in chess and fight to the death. One ate the pole and became heartbroken, while the other had a knife on his head and threw it away.
was so beaten that it was hard to separate, the ground was dark and the sky was dark. In the end, as Wang Guaizi expected, both of them were seriously injured and lay on the ground unable to move, leaving them half dead and barely alive.
Seeing that the time had come, Wang Guaizi felt very unhappy and said: "You two have fought enough. This matter is really difficult to handle. Two men and one woman can't be torn in half. I don't think either of you want it." You better give me a favor. Sorry, bye!"
Wang Guaizi happily picked up Ye Ruyu and limped out. "Hey, hey!"
Zhang Mazi and Li Leizi could only shout, unable to move. They saw the beauty in their hands fell into Wang Guaizi's arms, and they were so angry that their eyes almost popped out.
Besides, Ye Ruyu had been in a coma for a long time. After coming out of the basket, he gradually woke up after the mountain breeze blew at night. His body was moved by Wang Guaizi again, and his mind began to think.
I
aren’t we squatting in a pigsty? Why is your body sinking and floating? Ah, someone is holding me. who? Is it her husband Luo Daming? It was him who used that weird trick to make me suffer this pain.
Ye Ruyu slowly opened her dim eyes and took a look, ah! No, that was not her husband, but a strange man. Seeing that he was shaking like a kidnapper, I was shocked and became more awake.
She tried her best to break free from the man's hands, stood on her feet, and asked in panic: "Who are you?"
Wang Guaizi didn't watch out for Ye Ruyu's sudden awakening, and quickly said with a playful smile: "Don't, don't I'm afraid, I saved you, otherwise you would have been slaughtered as a pig.Beauty, now you belong to me, come back with me quickly and it will be a good thing. whee! "As he said that, he stretched out his hands to hug Ye Ruyu.
Ye Ruyu was angry and anxious. He pushed hard with his hands, porridge! He pushed Wang Guaizi to his feet in the air, then turned around and ran away.
Wang Guaizi crawled away quickly. Get up, chase, and shout: "Don't run, you belong to me, you belong to me!" "But after all, he has one leg long and one short, like a dragonfly touching water, he can't outrun Ye Ruyu. He stamped his feet anxiously: "Ugh, the fat in my mouth is blocked. I, Wang Guaizi, am destined to be a vegetarian for the rest of his life! "
Ye Ruyu is really like a bird out of the cage, a fish that has slipped through the net. He doesn't care about the darkness and the difficulty of walking. There is no way. He just runs, runs! Suddenly, "Porphyrin" bumps into someone With her arms full, the man seemed to reach out to grab her, and she slapped her with a slap. There was a crisp sound, causing the man to stagger, and then he ran away. Unexpectedly, he missed the step and rolled down the col. Went.
The person who received this slap was none other than Ye Ruyu’s smart husband Luo Daming. He came here with Sister Ke.
He ran all the way because he was so anxious that Sister Ke couldn’t catch up. Thinking of receiving this slap and hearing another scream, the voice sounded very familiar, so I covered half of my burning face and turned around and shouted: "Sister Ke, come quickly, there is someone here. "
Sister Ke rushed up panting, flashing her flashlight to look under the ridge, and saw someone lying there.
The two of them quickly and cautiously got to the bottom of the ridge. Luo Daming rushed forward as soon as he saw it and hugged him. Ye Ruyu, who was knocked unconscious, cried: "Ruyu, why are you here?" Look at the blood all over your body, wake up quickly, I am Daming! "
Sister Ke looked at this self-inflicted couple and was really angry and resentful. She couldn't help but said: "Luo Daming, Luo Daming, look at what a bastard you are. If someone is killed, I'll see how you explain it. "
" They all blame me, they all blame me! "Luo Daming regretted it so much that he really didn't need medicine - he asked for trouble and almost lost his beautiful wife.
He shook Ye Ruyu hard and shouted: "Ruyu, wake up, Ke and I Sister is here to pick you up! "
Fortunately, Ye Ruyu was not hit hard by the bite. She was unconscious because of fright. Now she slowly woke up. She looked at her husband and the amiable Sister Ke, her eyes rolled. Two strings of crystal tears burst out from her eyes, and she said: "Da Ming, we will never, never evade taxes again!" "
