01
My name is Hamster (a pseudonym). I grew up in a patriarchal family, and my younger brother has a third sister and younger brother. My sister is 2 years older than me, and my younger brother is 4 years younger.
Because the first two are older sisters, the younger brother has been particularly favored since he was a child. When we were young when we had a quarrel with my brother, my mother didn't ask the ins and outs of the matter, and was always the first to reprimand my sister and me.
Once, my sister and I played on the rocks at the door of our house and deliberately did not bring my brother. He had to follow him. We watched him carefully for fear that he would fall back and be scolded. . But the accident still happened. He could not stand on his feet and fell, knocked his knees, and bleed a little. His mother was so distressed. Picking up the bamboo sticks was just a beating against my sister and me. We felt wronged in our hearts, but also very much. Suddenly, the whip did not run when it came, and was beaten dumbfounded.
This is nothing, it was a particularly sad one in my memory. It was a blatant preference of my mother.
At that time, we were watching TV together in a nest of three children. Soon my mother came in with a half of a watermelon. My sister and I looked up at the same time, looking forward to her, but saw her straight. Walked to the younger brother, put the watermelon directly in front of him,When I saw that there was only one spoon in it, I couldn't help but feel sour, and I cried when I was disappointed. I thought my mother would comfort me, but what I heard was "Why cry or cry? I have to fight with my brother for this." We didn't, but my mother just said "because the younger brother is the youngest".
There are only more and less things like this, and it has been with my sister and I until the end of our childhood. So when I was a child, I used to cry, but my sister never cried.
So I think she is very strong, independent and strong.
02
From this year on, I no longer depend on my parents, and I no longer think about getting care from them. I started to focus on my sister and set her as an example in my life, because she taught me a lot of things and also taught me how to be a human being.
The first time I knew about being strong, it was my sister who told me when I couldn't stop crying, "Only when I am strong, my heart will not be so weak." _p _p8
she also taught me,"You must have a sense of justice, know how to be grateful, and don't be jealous of others."
After my sister went to college, I was afraid to sleep alone at night, she would tell me, "I'm afraid of the dark at night. There will be Ultraman to protect you."
Because of my sister, I have become a lot stronger.
Since then, I have always used her as the light of my life, but I don’t know when this belief has changed.
03
is getting more and more rebellious towards me. Once I accidentally broke her things, she scolded me for two full hours.
I told her that I wanted to learn to paint, but she was shocked by her, "What's the use of learning to paint, do I have the money at home?" In fact, I have a lot of thoughts in my heart that I want to share with my sister , But her indifference blocked me back.
To relieve the depression in my heart,When I went to write novels, my sister said, "What's the use of writing novels? No one will read the novels you write." "You haven't thought about what you are going to do in your sophomore year. How do you go from now on? Why do you always Immerse yourself in your own world!" However, I was only in high school and didn't know anything about society, and I didn't know where to go. More and more blows made me stop communicating with her.
04
What my parents meant was that my sister had good grades and there was hope in the future. I didn't refute, so as soon as I graduated from high school, I left home and went to other provinces.
When I first entered the factory, I couldn't save money. I split the 3 yuan biscuits into two meals. This is my breakfast for a week.
For a while, I was unemployed. I was working as a part-time job. After saving for a week, I gave her 500 yuan. I thought she would ask me if I’m doing well, or if I’m sick. However, all she got was a question from her, why did she fight so little.
In an instant, at that moment, all beliefs collapsed. I am starting to feel lost, what is the reason why I have suffered so much? At that time, in order to save money, I vomited when I ate noodles, or suffered from gastroenteritis by myself. I never told her about these, and she never asked.
slowly,The distance between me and her is getting more and more. I envy those sisters who are harmonious. I want to deal with her and I hope to get closer to her. But until today, she called me and I didn’t receive it. Look When I arrived, I was under a lot of pressure. I was defeated by fear and panic. I even wondered if I had a psychological problem. I didn't know how to face her. What do you think I should do next?
END
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