text: leisurely reading
When people talk about PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), they usually think of trauma caused by war or major disasters, but they are less aware that in a broader and daily context, trauma exists in a less aware but more common way.
Pete Walker, a senior American psychotherapist, proposed the concept of CPTSD in the book "It's Okay Not to Forgive". CPTSD refers to Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Pete Walker believes that CPTSD mainly stems from bullying and injury from parents, brothers and schools in the original family. This has caused many people many psychological and emotional problems even after they reach adulthood.
This brings us two inspirations. First, many of our current psychological and living habits problems may originate from adverse influences in childhood. Second, as parents, we may unknowingly exert adverse psychological effects on our children many times.
CPTSD has many sources, including abuse and neglect in the family of origin, violence in intimate relationships, cults and various other long-term persecutions.
Pete Walker points out that if you grow up in an environment that makes you feel unimportant, unloved, worthless, unsafe, or unheard, and makes you deeply feel that you are not good enough, then you are very likely to have CPTSD.
The most common symptoms of CPTSD include the following five areas: emotional flashbacks, toxic shame, self-abandonment, malignant inner critic, and social anxiety.
Understand whether you have any of the above aspects or problems, and then recall your childhood to see if something caused you to have the above situation as an adult. You can determine whether you have mild or severe CPTSD. By adopting appropriate treatment methods according to your own situation, you can achieve a better version of yourself.
Emotional flashbacks are sudden and often long-lasting regressions in which survivors (Pete Walker, author of "It's Okay to Not Forgive", refers to all CPTSD patients as "survivors", meaning those who survived childhood) will regress to intense emotional states caused by childhood abuse or abandonment. This emotional state may include intense fear, shame, alienation, anger, sadness and depression, and even unnecessary "fight-or-flight" responses.
Toxic shame refers to CPTSD survivors feeling that they are disgusting, ugly, stupid, or fatally flawed. This intense feeling can destroy the survivor's self-esteem.
Symptoms of survivors of CPTSD may also include hopeless feelings of loneliness and abandonment, fragile self-esteem, attachment disorders, arrested development, difficulties with interpersonal relationships, and extreme mood swings.
Pete Walker believes that the causes of CPTSD are usually related to long-term physical abuse, verbal abuse or emotional abuse and emotional neglect in childhood.
The process of recovery from CPTSD is undoubtedly complex and involves many levels: cognitive, emotional, spiritual, physical, and interpersonal. For survivors to recover, they must learn to support themselves in order to meet all levels of their unmet developmental needs as a result of childhood trauma.
In the spiritual healing, the author proposes a very effective spiritual healing, hoping that survivors can alleviate the pain of abandonment through a higher level of belonging.
The worst thing for a child is not being loved by his family of origin and never being able to integrate into it. It is difficult for such children to experience safe and welcoming relationships as adults.
Survivors can be helped to find a sense of belonging through the activities of religious and social groups, or by reading spiritual books or participating in meditation practices. Still other survivors gain spiritual experiences that are part of something larger and more valuable by being in nature, listening to music, or appreciating art.
We do not mean to blame our parents for not taking good enough care of us in childhood. Children do not need perfect parents to grow up healthily, but parents need to have reasonable consistency in their behavior and provide stable love and support, so that children will have strong self-esteem and the ability to establish intimate relationships as they grow.
As adults, we should pay attention to the problems that occur in ourselves and try to find out whether the root causes of these problems come from the influence of childhood, which can make us healthier mentally and interpersonally.
At the same time, we also need to note that being a parent has a great impact on the physical and mental health of children in terms of language, behavior, and emotions. How to be a qualified father or mother is something we all need to spend time learning.
#Headline Creation Challenge# #I am studying on the island#
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