The visitor asked:
I failed to ask the psychological counselor for a hug. She explained it to me for a long time, but I still don’t quite understand why the psychological counselor cannot hug the visitor?
Heart Love Counselor Answer:
In psychological counseling, physical contact or touching has always been a controversial topic, because is not a simple reply of Yes or No, it really tests the counselor's comprehensive ability and practical experience.
During consultation, it is particularly important that the counselor can distinguish in a very timely manner what level of physical touch is appropriate, which can convey empathy to the client and promote the progress of the consultation; which touches may become flirtatious touches that cannot be crossed.
asked the counselor for a hug. It seemed like a simple request, but it involved a complicated boundary consideration. The counselor needs to consider your personality (your own problems and level of functioning), history (especially any inappropriate sexual situations), age, culture, gender, and your relationship with the counselor. Of course, this also involves the consultant's own views on hugging and comfort level.
If the counselor considers that giving you a hug may be interpreted as having sexual connotations, or may trigger some inappropriate fantasies in you, it will become more troublesome in the future. Under normal circumstances, the counselor will adopt a more conservative attitude and will not comply with the client's request for a hug.
But if the counselor realizes that you have established a trusting counseling relationship, respect each other's boundaries, and understands the relationship history between you and other people, and you want to get some comfort after talking about a painful experience, then there will be a greater possibility of meeting your need for a hug.
Actually, as a consultant, before I make a decision, I would rather get to know you through your request for a hug. Why would you consider asking a counselor to give you a hug? What do you want from this hug? Besides hugging, are there any other ways to satisfy your inner needs?
It is very clear that when you ask the counselor to give yourself a hug, it involves a boundary issue. Boundaries ensure that what is needed for the relationship can enter the therapy, while keeping out what needs to be kept out. 's clear and appropriate boundaries allow clients to share important experiences and talk about their feelings, confident that they are safe and will be treated appropriately.
——Teacher Zhao Huaimin
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