The results of a 2013 awareness survey of young people in seven countries (including Japan) showed that among young people in Japan, the proportion of people who are satisfied with themselves is 45.8%, which ranks the lowest among the seven countries.
More than half of young people in Japan feel very dissatisfied with themselves. Most of them still hope that they can change their appearance and personality in order to gain recognition from others or become more popular. This is believed to be a common problem among many people.
Shion Kawasawa, the author of "Life Troubles Consultation Room", is a Japanese psychiatrist and writer who focuses on psychiatry, psychology, brain science and other fields. In this book,
, the author starts from five aspects: interpersonal relationships, personal life, work, mental health, and physical health, and uses the clinical experience of psychiatrists to introduce the problems that 90% of people will encounter, and provides us with many practical and effective solutions.
Today we chose to start from a psychological perspective and explore how we can make ourselves better and better and give ourselves a brand new self through small daily things.
01 Change is not necessarily about personality, but change starts with actions
"I never know how to express my thoughts, nor how to integrate into other people's circles more quickly. Should I change this personality?"
I had a similar experience when I first entered the workplace. Seeing that my colleagues are chatting happily, I really want to get involved, and I especially envy those colleagues who can get along with others quickly.
wants to integrate into the group and get along well with colleagues, but he always feels that his personality is not good enough for others. Should he change his personality?
But it turns out I was wrong. The book says that you don’t actually need to change your personality. This would cost too much time. You can change your actions, and these things are very small things in daily life.
If you meet someone in person, take the initiative to nod and say hello. During the lunch break, chat with everyone about daily life. In this way, you and other colleagues will gradually become familiar with each other. A simple change in action can transform yourself from an "introvert" to a "passionate person."
02 Magnify your strengths and live more confidently
If you keep trying to change your shortcomings, you will fall into an infinite loop.
In other words, if you keep staring at your shortcomings, you will only be able to see the shortcomings and not the advantages in yourself.
It is very easy for each of us to see the advantages of others, but to see all the shortcomings in ourselves. As a result, we often unconsciously compare ourselves with others, and even feel inferior to others the more we compare.
In the past, I always envied the advantages of my friends and colleagues around me, such as being confident and generous, being courageous in doing things, and being able to complete complex reports very carefully. As for me, I always feel that I am always careless when compared with others, and I am not patient enough when facing complex data...
My former boss once had a meal with me and said something to me sincerely: "You can learn from the strengths of others, but you must also learn to see the strengths in yourself. If you see all your own shortcomings, it will be difficult for you to magnify your strengths and do things with confidence, and it will also be difficult to live with confidence."
Since that time, I have learned to accept my shortcomings, but more importantly, I have magnified my advantages of persisting to the end and being conscientious and responsible. I also received praise from my leaders at work.
Only by magnifying the advantages can we give full play to our strengths and live more confidently.
03 Write a success diary to fill yourself with energy to live every day
We want to ignore our shortcomings and turn our attention to our own strengths. There is another very good method that can help us continuously gain energy and confidence in our daily life. This method is to keep a success diary.
It is very simple to write a success diary. Just write down 3 things in your notebook every day that you feel successful about.These three things can be things that you feel very accomplished, or they can be things that you have never done before. You have broken through your past self, learned new skills, etc. These can all be written down.
Writing a successful diary is more about affirming yourself and letting yourself see that you are growing every day, breaking through your comfort zone and doing different things every day.
Writing a success diary is a process of positive feedback, and it is also a process that allows us to see that success is achieved step by step. This process also allows you to continuously receive positive feedback and spend every day full of energy.
is written at the end
In fact, we are often too harsh on ourselves and have too much dissatisfaction with ourselves. There are no perfect people in the world. As long as we learn to accept our imperfect selves, we will not live in various comparisons and suffer from all kinds of internal friction.
As long as we do some simple things in our daily life: a simple greeting, focus on what we like and are good at, record our growth in time, record the wonderful things in life, we will definitely make ourselves better and better,
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