Author: Creator Group·Little Tomato
There are parents around me who complain that their children have been taking online classes for nearly a year in three years.
Now, the State Council has issued new regulations on epidemic prevention, Article 10 of which: "Schools in all regions must resolutely implement scientific and precise prevention and control requirements. Schools without epidemics must carry out normal offline teaching activities, and supermarkets, canteens, sports venues, libraries, etc. on campus must be open normally."
allows students who study at home and parents who work at home to see the dawn of hope!
But today I would like to remind everyone that when we care about the children's online class results and academic performance, we need to pay special attention to whether there are any abnormalities in children's body, habits, and emotions.
In 2019, my son was in the fourth grade of elementary school.
At that time, his every subject was excellent, which made me worry-free.
Not only that, he is also the deputy squad leader in the class.
The evaluation given to him was: has excellent grades, is sunny and optimistic, is diligent and motivated, and has a good popularity.
At that time, I didn’t expect that since the frequent online classes at home at the beginning of this year, my son’s whole person has gradually changed.
First, I started to get distracted from the online class, and I was not focused, and my homework was written more and more sloppy. I was criticized by the teacher several times in the group.
I was anxious and couldn't help but say a few words to him. He didn't refute and lowered his head without saying a word.
I remember when I was having dinner, my son always chattered about interesting things about the school;
But now he always burys his head with expressionless face, and obviously felt that his whole body was filled with low pressure.
Then start to be emotional and rebellious.
I remember one night, I brought the fruit into my son's room as usual and asked about the progress of my homework.
But he roared at me irritably: "Can you stop coming into my house? Are you upset?"
You should know that since childhood, my son has always been well-behaved and sensible, and has almost never gotten angry with me.
At that time, I thought my son was about to reach puberty and it was normal to have some rebellion, so I didn't take it to heart.
Until one day, my son’s Chinese teacher suddenly chatted with me privately and showed me several recent weekly diaries of my son. There are a few words in
that make people frightened:
"The weather is cloudy today, just like my mood during this period..."
"When will this kind of day end..."
"Sometimes I think, what is the meaning of living?"
I finally couldn't sit still and took my son to see a psychologist.
The moment I got the diagnosis, I felt so mixed feelings inside that I couldn’t stop tears from flowing down:
Mild depression!
The child’s father comforted me: Fortunately, it’s just mild depression, it doesn’t matter, my son will definitely get better!
I wiped my tears and nodded with a heavy emphasis. During the period after the diagnosis of
, I was once in a state of self-doubt.
For so many years, I think I am a serious and responsible mother. Usually, my husband and I respect my children very much and never beat and scold him easily.
How can a good child be sick?
In order to find the cheerful and outstanding son who was once, I was anxious and began to read various materials.
Only then did I realize that since the outbreak of the epidemic, this generation of children has suffered a lot and is facing serious "secondary disasters of the new crown".
For example, the epidemic changes a child’s brain and causes short-term and long-term cognitive and behavioral damage.
Also, because children have been in classes online for a long time, lack of peer communication, and no physical activities, they have become particularly lonely and have poor social skills.
At the same time, children are more likely to be irritable and their parent-child relationship becomes more and more disharmonious.
What I pay most attention to is that during the epidemic, the anxiety, depression and suicide of adolescents have all shown an upward trend.
In August 2021, a study covering 80,000 adolescents around the world showed that the number of adolescents suffering from anxiety and depression during the epidemic doubled, reaching 25.2% and 20.5% respectively.
In a survey in Shanghai in 2022, many students have become generally irritated that the epidemic has not ended.
Survey comes from Shanghai Institute of Education and Science
Especially for junior and senior high school students, as they stay at home longer and longer, anxiety is gradually increasing.
Among them, I found that there are many students suffering from mental illness like my son.
A mother who worked as a nurse in Shenzhen complained:
During the online class, the head teacher called her and said that the child who had been more conscious in the past had not handed in his homework online for 10 days.
She hurriedly took a leave for several days and went home to supervise her son. She found that her son was addicted to the Internet all day long and was indifferent to other things.
This mother tried to reason with her child, but her son shouted to her: "If you talk about me again, I will be depressed, autistic, and disgusted!"
I also consulted a friend who was a class teacher in middle school. She told me:
There are now three children in their class who have been diagnosed with depression, 1 is moderate and 2 are mild.
Thinking of some time ago, Tsinghua Professor Peng Kaiping once bluntly said in his speech:
"The large-scale suspension of social activities has caused social isolation. In November 2021, with the help of Xinhua News Agency , more than 300,000 primary and secondary school students in China were investigated, and the harm of psychological problems has increased a lot.
Especially in the post-epidemic era, children have appeared in the "four no' -
First, there is no motivation to learn, and without parents and teachers, children don't love them, they don't love them if they don't force them to force them to do so. Reading;
Second, no interest in the real world, addicted to games, various social media, no interest in real people and things;
Third, no ability to socialize;
Fourth, finally, no feeling about the value of life. ”
Since taking online classes, he has been unresponsible in his studies, is in a low mood, and has no interest in all kinds of things.
I regretted it so much. I have always focused on my son’s study and health.
has long been ignored. Under the epidemic, my son has unknowingly buried a bomb in his heart.
"Don't wait until your child grows up to regret that you have done too much now" says something that is particularly heartbreaking:
"Children's problems are closely related to the performance of parents."
The child is depressed. The current environment is one aspect, but the most important thing is that there is something wrong with our parents' education method.
So, after consulting the psychologist's advice, I made several adjustments and changes based on my son's actual situation.
also shared with you today. I hope that parents can learn from it:
During the epidemic, many adults are prone to being impatient and complaining.
For example, I often complain about the various inconveniences caused by the epidemic in front of my son at home, and I am also very tired of cooking at home every day.
Later I discovered that the child’s heart is the most sensitive, and the emotional state of parents will unconsciously affect the child.
In a negative energy environment, children are prone to anxiety, fear, excessive worry, and stress.
When parents cannot hold back their emotions and their children are not stable, parent-child conflicts will inevitably intensify.
So, after that, I decided to pay attention to my own emotions first, face life optimistically and calmly, and not to casually pour out negative emotions in front of my family.
I think if parents cannot remain optimistic and positive, then all education will be ineffective.
, communicate more emotionally with children
I found that in the past six months, I have very few concerns and understanding of children in addition to their studies.
So, I decided to talk to my son about more interesting topics other than learning.
For example, "The World Cup is coming, which team do you think of?" "Have you ever had any interesting things happening in the class recently?" and so on.
Slowly, my son began to let go of his inner resistance and opened his heart to me:
It turned out that after entering the sixth grade, he was already under the pressure of going to school. In addition, he could not digest some knowledge points at home, so he was unconsciously anxious and anxious.
After listening to it, I felt very distressed and asked him why he didn't tell me earlier?
He lowered his head and said, "It's useless to tell you, and he will definitely say that I don't listen to the class..."
I felt sad and touched his head and said, "I can tell my mother no matter what happens in the future. Mom will never blame you. If there is anything, let's solve it together!"
After hearing this, my son nodded vigorously, with a long-lost smile on his face.
, accompany your children to exercise more
stay at home for a long time, monotonous and boring, children have nowhere to vent their emotions, and psychological problems will increase.
When I checked the information, I found that there are three substances about "happiness" in the human body: serotonin, dopamine , and endorphin .
dopamine can make people feel happy and maintain learning efficiency,
serotonin can help children release stress,
endorphin can make people optimistic and positive and improve their sense of happiness.
, these three happy substances, can be activated by exercise of a certain intensity.
So, my father and I decided unanimously that one person would take the child downstairs to exercise every day, and it would be best to ensure an hour of activity every day.
The specific sports are all my son likes, such as basketball or badminton.
Half a month later, my son obviously felt more relaxed, his sleep improved a lot, and his concentration in class became more focused.
It turns out that exercise is the best medicine to cure all bad moods.
4, enrich the fun of learning
home class, the world of children is basically nothing new except learning.
They lost their classmates, classrooms, extracurricular activities, noisy lunches and time to go home after class.
So, my son goes to the Internet for a while after class every day and keeps in touch with a few good friends.
A certain amount of social contact can not only help the child's body regulate stressors physically, but also dispel loneliness.
In addition to this, I suggest that he develop some other hobbies while studying. Before
, my son always wanted to raise a kitten, but I refused because I was afraid of affecting his study.
This time, I specially asked a kitten from a friend's house to give him. His eyes were lit with joy, and he no longer looked lifeless at home.
I also held a family debate competition, where one person is the referee and prepares the debate topic every day. The other two participated, and the family of three had a lot of fun.
After more than a month of hard work, I took my son to follow up again and felt relieved to find that his depression symptoms had basically disappeared.
My cheerful and sunny son is finally back.
Finally, I want to say a few words to you.
This generation of children is actually really not easy.
They have experienced the epidemic at a young age, and they are more likely to coexist with the virus for a long time.
Care more about children and help them with psychological "epidemic prevention" in advance is a compulsory course for every family.
also reminds everyone that if you find symptoms such as abnormalities in your child, such as irritability, rebellion, depression, and crying for no reason, parents must pay attention to it.
These are usually manifestations of depression. You must take your child to a psychology teacher or go to the hospital for diagnosis and treatment.
Just like a University of California professor Bruce Fuller:
In this crisis, mental health is more important than everything. Parents must lower their expectations and let their children feel loved and safe in difficulties, so that their children will be resilient and willing to learn.
Now the national epidemic prevention and control has been further "relaxed". Winter is here, is spring still far away? May we all watch our children walk out of the quagmire and move towards a bright future.
Reference article:
Grain Rain Planet: "Children of the new crown generation are experiencing "secondary disasters" beyond imagination"
Ma Zhechao "Big data shows that the epidemic "secondary disasters": The psychological problems of teenagers are more serious than imagined...What should we do? 》
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