People may encounter each other by chance, but it is never blind to both sexes to have a good impression of each other, like each other, and then develop and upgrade to love.
In other words, favorable feelings have a strong purpose from the beginning for both parties.
So where is the destiny from, it is all driven by the pros and cons in your heart.
For example, Qin Shi and Yang Hua in " The Law of Love 28 " have encountered each other unexpectedly at a banquet because of a lie, a ridiculous encounter, an alternative "contract" but caused two men and women who were 6 years apart to have love. So how do we develop love?
Seeing the other person is like seeing yourself in a mirror
There is a concept in psychology called "psychological visibility", also known as "psychological visibility principle".
Simply put, it is:
When you get along with this person, the other person is like a mirror of yourself; in the other person, you can see yourself, feel yourself, and perceive the other side of yourself.
Qin Shi and Yang Hua seem to have grown up in completely different family environments and have very different living habits, but they also have similar emotional feelings, especially at work. Yang Hua looked at Qin Shi very much like himself who had worked hard, so he persuaded Qin Shi with great painstaking efforts that he could not finish his work and no work is worth hurting his body.
Especially when Qin Shi asked Yang Hua that if he didn't help this person, it would be a heavy price, and helping him would be of no benefit to him. At that moment, Yang Hua's expression was actually very intuitive and it made people guess that he had suffered in the workplace. I believe he had done similar "good deeds"
Therefore, it can make people feel this way. First of all, there is a certain similarity between the two.
This includes similar personalities, similar character, and similar values.
When Yang Hua, who is not accepted by most of the opposite sex, meets Qin Shi, who does not play according to the routine, the two of them are inexplicably uncontrollable attraction.
The tacit understanding between conversations, as well as unreasonable support and trust, will help others to relieve them when they are embarrassed, and will share them when they are happy. Under this feeling, no matter whether it is age, family or material gap, it is difficult to resist the two people's love.
Secondly, the living habits and tastes are similar.
The most common diet, men and women, are most exposed to the interaction between food, clothing, housing and transportation.
So the degree of fit between living habits and taste is really important. It is the cause of mutual affection and the key to whether we can live in harmony for a long time in the future.
Imagine you don’t like spicy food. He can’t get any spicy food. He likes barbecue. You feel nauseous when you see greasy fat. On the one hand, it’s difficult to attract each other. Even if you feel that diet is not a problem, you can give the table an extra taste, but over time, conflicts and oppositional trivial matters will become an important reason for the fatigue of life, and each other’s feelings will gradually become the inducement to your own hard work.
On the contrary, people who are similar or even consistent will give themselves more companions and make life more compatible and worry-free.
For example, your living habits are weird in most people's words, which are obsessed with cleanliness, but for a person who pays great attention to the quality of life and also pays attention to the standards of details, it is a priceless treasure and will cooperate with each other, encountering similar surprises, and also ease after saving worries and effort.
The reason why I fell in love with this person is because I seem to meet another self of a different gender.
Because of the sunken cost
The prince in " Little Prince " loves the rose that belongs to him not because the rose is unique, but because he has devoted too much energy and effort to the rose.
So in unintentional relationships, even if the initial love is not born, as the number of contacts and sunk costs increases, this unique feeling will take root in the heart.
When we are with someone, every little effort will become a cause for our lover.
Falling in love with someone is because of the "missing self"
The heroine Qin Shi is 6 years older than Yanghua, but it still does not prevent the love between the two people from making people feel happy and sweet. The so-called "Oeda Father's Complex" and "Oeda Mother's Complex" are, to put it bluntly, a kind of compensation for inner deficiency.
According to the relevant plot introduction, Sunshine's ex-girlfriend Yao Yao is a rebellious and personalized poor student, and this is the greatest charm and attraction for Yang Hua, who is ruled by the rules, because his free and easy appearance and self-righteous appearance are the self he has always longed for to be in his heart.
This is one of the important reasons why women who lack fatherly love since childhood are easily deceived by old men and even scumbags who pretend to be considerate. Therefore, what makes us love is not the same as the other party, but the other party has the self that they lack and want to be.
Love will never be accidental, but love that will only arise under the satisfaction of value or lack.
END
text/emotional transfer site
(author: Xiaoyu, psychological counselor, focusing on the emotional field), good at restoring and restoring romantic relationships, marriage conflicts and differences, and spiritual trauma healing caused by original ecological families. In a lonely life journey, listen to your grievances and pressures, help visitors improve their gender skills, win back their lovers, manage their relationships well, and strive to become a happier person.
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