"Adolescent Brain Storm" mentions psychologists Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield proposed the "RAIN" therapy, "to treat inner feelings, images, emotions and thoughts related to trauma or grief is a very beneficial move, which makes life more integrated."
R: Recognize, recognize trauma or loss.
A: Accept, accept that it has happened and may still be in an unresolved state
I: Investigate, explores past experiences and the essence of current experiences.
N:Non-identification does not agree with these experiences (meaning that our identity is not defined with these events).
For example, a child who was abused by a dependent in an hour, until he was in his 30s, wanted to be close to others but always escaped, and always found reasons for himself: I am also very good alone. In fact, this is a kind of escape. Turning on the "RAIN" therapy is to realize that this escape comes from childhood trauma; accepting these traumas have happened, rather than "whitewashing the peace" for yourself, or finding various excuses for those who hurt yourself, with the purpose of making yourself "more".
To accept these injuries, it has happened, and it has not been resolved yet. It is still affecting your life today. If it is not resolved, it may continue to affect your future life.
At the same time, you must accept all your experiences in this process, the love and hate that have been covered up in the past.
There are many people who refuse to accept or dare not face these turbulent chaos because they are so uncomfortable, so they keep using various chicken soup or principles to convince themselves not to hate and love.
But this is just an escape. Many people who do not accept or face "have no emotions" towards anyone, no love or hate. In fact, it is very painful inside.
Emotions are not good or bad, right or wrong, all emotions are valuable, and behind all emotions are our own needs, behind hatred is the pain of love but not getting it, and behind hatred is actually love. And only when you allow yourself to hate, love will come in when hatred can come out. Only after accepting
will we slowly come out: the past will affect us, for example, we may be afraid of facing a brand new intimate relationship, but the past will not determine our present and future: Although I am afraid, I still convince myself to take a bold step forward and establish intimate relationships with others. Although it will take certain risks, I can afford it. I am not dominated by past experiences, I want to establish a healthy and beautiful intimate relationship and have my own good life.
Of course, if you really can't handle it yourself, then let professionals accompany you through this chaotic and helpless life. If you have a small thorn on your feet, it will not cause much harm to you, just dial it out and continue on the road. But if an unknown thing grows on your back, which often makes you suffer, and you can't see it, and you can't handle it, then seek the help of professionals.
could have influenced us in the past, but it could not determine us. Our future is in our own hands.
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