I can hear dogs barking from somewhere outside every day. Before being infected with new coronavirus , I didn’t pay attention to it. Perhaps dogs were barking every day. However, after being infected with COVID-19, I felt that the barking of dogs became more real, lonely and desolate.
The Internet is full of records of the process, symptoms and feelings of contracting the new coronavirus. I originally wanted to write an article to record it, but after the weather turned cloudy, I didn’t want to write it anymore. I just want to share how I feel right now.
Today I was finally able to move even if I wanted to, and started cleaning. Wipe down the furniture in each room, just like before the infection, and do a deep cleaning once a week to remove all dust. It is said online that when you first recover from COVID-19, you should not overwork yourself, but you should still pay attention to your health. I’ve also seen people die because they over-exercised right after recovery. So while I was cleaning, I also paid special attention to the changes in my body. As soon as my body gave out the slightest signal of fatigue, I would stop and rest immediately.
In the end, I just wiped down all the furniture. I haven't cleaned it for ten days. There are hair and dust everywhere on the floor. Tomorrow I will sweep and mop the floor, and change all the bed sheets and quilts at the same time. Finally, take a hot bath.
Our company also informed us that we will officially go to work next week. During this period, we have been working from home. It is said that once the body is restored to health, one should go to work and live happily. But I can't be happy no matter what. Not only can I not be happy, but I can also feel inexplicably sad and scared. I don’t want to go out and just want to stay at home. There is no expectation or hope for the future. It can be said that the future cannot be seen.
I asked several other friends who have been infected with COVID-19. They feel the same as me. They are depressed, have a bad temper, and have no patience. I don’t know if it’s the psychological traumatic sequelae caused by COVID-19. But this feeling is really bad. I originally thought that after being infected with the new coronavirus, it would be enough to just endure the pain and damage caused by the virus to the body. Unexpectedly, after recovery, the virus could actually start to devour the strong soul and will inside.
I don’t know how many people who have recovered from COVID-19 are like me, going through this kind of depression and low psychological process. Perhaps the mental state has not been fully restored. It does not mean that after turning negative, the cells in the body need to clean up the battlefield. It may take one to two weeks to completely clean up.
The battlefield in the body can be cleaned up in one to two weeks, but how long will it take to clean up the remains of the psychological battlefield? Today I even had the idea of wishing that I was already at retirement age. I really doubt that my current mental age is sixty or seventy.
What I can do now is divert my attention from sadness and loss. I can watch dramas, read books, work, or sleep. In short, don't be in a daze. Being in a daze makes it easier for you to have random thoughts, and it will aggravate your depression. After a week or two of recovery, I resumed my daily running and yoga routine.
