Author: Zhao Xiaoming Editor: Zhao Fang Yang Liyun
Xiaoming's Quotes: Knowledge is a tool used to layer, and humans have been mixing sand into knowledge since a long time ago.
01 mostly deal with strangers
Boy: Hello, Teacher Xiaoming, I am a third-year junior high school student, 15 years old this year, I have some questions, such as when I am in the first year of junior high school, I sometimes give speeches on stage. Before going on stage, I feel very panicked, nervous, and uneasy.
Teacher Xiaoming: When you were young, did you have much experience on stage ?
Boy: is quite rare.
Teacher Xiaoming: Have you performed a program separately in kindergarten ?
Boy: has a performance.
Teacher Xiaoming: Then when I was in elementary school?
Boy: I also performed in elementary school, but it is much less than kindergarten.
Teacher Xiaoming: So what about the rest of the classmates? How are they?
Boy: I feel that they have much more opportunities to perform and socialize than me.
Teacher Xiaoming: Why is ?
Boy: Sometimes I may be more scared and timid, and then I dare not go to the stage, but as this continues, I will gradually become less and less.
Teacher Xiaoming: When you are at home, for example, a few people in the family go out to play together, or gather at home, in the case of you talking in front of your uncle and aunt, how do you speak ?
Boy: If I are a very familiar person, I will not be as in the past. I am quite comfortable and I feel that my performance is very natural.
Teacher Xiaoming: When you face familiar people, you don’t have these problems. Then why do you have problems when facing strangers?
Boy: I feel like I’m afraid of others’ gaze at me, because I’m not familiar with him, so I may care more about how he will view me.
Teacher Xiao Ming: The problem you mentioned contains methods to solve the problem , which means that as long as people are familiar with you, you dare to show yourself, and you dare to speak, and you are not timid. But when facing unfamiliar people, you will become a little timid, right? So how do you think it should be solved?
Boy: Maybe I want to deal with those strangers more.
Teacher Xiaoming: For example, when you were attending summer camp, you had so many children, including fifty or sixty men and women. How many of them did you know after attending summer camp?
Boy: three or four.
Teacher Xiaoming: Why do you know so few times in ?
Boy: What you mean is that after you go back, do you also add WeChat to continue to communicate?
Teacher Xiao Ming: not only after going back, but refers to During the event, you kids played all day, played for 7 days or 10 days. How many friends have you made?
Boy: I think there are quite a lot of , maybe 10. After returning home, I continued to contact and add WeChat, but I rarely did it.
Teacher Xiao Ming: Are there more than 10?
Boy: I don’t think it’s too much compared to fifty or sixty children.
Teacher Xiaoming: Then why did you only know 10 children for so long?
Boy: I know these 10 people who are mainly male in the same gender as me, all in the same dormitory as me, and most of them are in the same room as me.
02 The model you make friends is proximity principle ?
Teacher Xiao Ming: Look, you have now told the root cause of this problem. The way you make friends is the proximity principle. is with you, you know each other, you live together, you know each other, you are in the same team, you know each other, right?
So if you don’t know each other, for example, have you ever dated them in other dormitories far away? For example, if you take the initiative to go over and say who I am, what we do together, will you take the initiative to make friends?
Boy: generally does not.
Teacher Xiaoming: Why is ? You just don’t think it’s necessary, or are you nervous?
Boy: just doesn’t want to have too much contact with strangers, but if he and I were in the same dormitory or room, even if they were unfamiliar at the beginning, they would gradually become familiar with each other.
Teacher Xiao Ming: is right, so this is your model for making friends, the principle of proximity. You will be familiar with some people who are far away from you over time.
For example, if you are in school, if you sit close to you, you may meet soon. People who sit far may meet you later,
Boy: is like this.
Teacher Xiaoming: How long will it take for you to get to know all the classmates in your class?
Boy: may be one month.
Teacher Xiaoming: What about the people from other classes in ?
Boy: There are many people in other classes, such as elementary school until elementary school graduation, and many classmates in other classes have not known each other.
Teacher Xiaoming: What about when I was in middle school?
Boy: When I was in middle school, there were many other classes that didn’t know each other, but most other classes may have to have some interactions after one semester.
Teacher Xiaoming: For example, when you meet a strange classmate, do you take the initiative to meet him, or do he take the initiative to meet you with
Boy: Usually he takes the initiative to meet me.
Teacher Xiaoming: Why do you think you don’t dare to know strangers on your own initiative? Why do you feel strange to them or make friends with them slowly? ?
Boy: doesn’t contact them for that long time. I usually find a few fixed friends, and I met them at the beginning, the ones closest to me, and then I kept playing like this. Basically, I know relatively little from classmates who are far away. I usually keep playing like this with a few regular classmates nearby.
03 The more friends you dare to make, the more friends you will have
Teacher Xiaoming: Then how do you think you should solve the problem?
Boy: I think I should muster up the courage to contact them more, and take the initiative to talk to them.
Teacher Xiaoming: Right, some people are interacting with passively. For example, if I don’t know you, you don’t know me, but I will tell you, what’s your name? Where did you come from? You came from Beijing? Where did I come from? You will know me. But if I didn't take the initiative to say hello first, you probably wouldn't know me.
. When two people are together, there must be someone who will be the first to send an invitation, and someone who will always take the initiative to . Right, can you become that person who will take the initiative?
Boy: I think I can muster up the courage to try it.
Teacher Xiao Ming: is not actually a try, but if you don’t work once, twice, if you don’t work twice, just three times. After ten times, you will know how to date strangers. It’s actually very simple .
Boy: , try it more.
Teacher Xiao Ming: is right, A child grows from childhood to adolescence, then grows to high school and then to college, and then slowly becomes an adult, it is actually a process of constantly trying .
You have to try a lot of things that you have never tried in your life, right?
If everything is waiting for others to take the initiative to date, you will lose a lot of opportunities to try.
The world is actually very big, but sometimes it is very small. The size of this world does not depend on the size of the world, but on the size you are willing to explore . It's like a wild place like ours now.
We can also sit here and see, and we can also say that there are some things over there, let’s go over and take a look.
The farther you dare to go, the bigger the world will be for you. The more friends you dare to make, the more friends you will have .
So the size of the world is under your control, it is not fixed.
Some people know 150 people in one place in their lifetime. Some people may travel around the world in this lifetime and know many different countries, different ethnic groups, and all kinds of people, right? Which one do you like to make?
Boy: That must be the second one.
Teacher Xiaoming: Because of people, they all hope to understand and understand the world more. You want to do this, too?
Boy: I also want to.
Teacher Xiaoming: is right.
Xiao Ming's quote: Knowledge is divided into knowledge of the ruling class and the ruling class. Only the knowledge that produces real thinking is the effective knowledge of the ruling class.
Original public account: Heart Partner (ID: xhbeap)
