is in class, and my daughter is going to shit again. I sat at the desk in the study, watching the time pass by bit by bit, 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, the class should be almost over, but my daughter still hasn't come back. Then I heard the teacher's voice from the computer: Zhang Zicheng, Zhang Zicheng, why didn't I see you, Zhang Zicheng? Zhang Zicheng? Are you here or not?
The teacher called her daughter several times. Then he said: Zhang Zicheng, if you don’t show up again, I will call your parents. Then I heard the sound of my cell phone. I answered the phone. The teacher there said: Zicheng Mom, now I found that the child seems to be not by the computer. Please check if the child is there? I answered well and hung up the phone: Call me loudly, Zhang Zicheng, Zhang Zicheng, your teacher called you. The woman said oh, slowly came to the study, then looked at and tucked down and tiptoed back to the computer. After sitting down, she looked at me, "Has the teacher called me?" I didn't say anything, and made my own courseware at my own. Then I sent a message to the teacher: Tell the teacher to argue with Zhang Zicheng in front of all the classmates. She was not next to the computer yesterday afternoon and afternoon. She said she could do everything you said, and there was no need to listen to it again. Please ask her more questions in class.
In the three years of the COVID-19 pandemic, my daughter has gradually regressed to the level of middle class and seventeen or eighteen in the class. I have tried many ways, but once I get strict, my daughter gets angry. It may also be that the rebellious period has arrived. If I ignore her for a week, she will definitely not pay attention to me. We are like the most familiar strangers. I don’t know if she feels uncomfortable, but I feel very uncomfortable. Every time I think of these late at night, I can’t help crying. Even when I wrote this, I felt inexplicably sad and couldn't help crying for a while.
Daughter went to junior high school this year. Our family can be classified into a better school. After entering this school, we will have to take the unified class examination and key classes. I was worried that my daughter would not be able to keep up after going, so I was beaten down, so I planned to ask her to get some junior high school questions. However, when she asked her to do additional questions, she would reluctantly do them at the beginning, but she slowly began to resist negatively and procrastinately, and she could not finish a set of papers for a long time. After finishing, I told her that she understood everything, but in two days I asked her to do the wrong questions again, at least 70% of them would not be able to do it. I wouldn’t help but get angry and quarrel to her. Maybe she saw that I was unhappy, so she was completely unwilling to do it later. She didn't even bother to pretend and started to treat it with crying. At noon, she couldn't do anything and was crying there. Then to now, I found that the relationship between mother and daughter was too bad, and I was discouraged and ignored her, and then I stopped doing a set of papers. So she stayed on the sofa at noon to play with her grandparents' mobile phones, sometimes playing games, sometimes chatting with people who don't know if they are classmates, and even scolding each other for SB in conversation.
I have reflected on it and have reflected on it many times. Until now, I don’t even know what to feel to face my daughter. Although my husband and I did not graduate from a prestigious university, we both went to good universities and had good jobs in Zhengzhou. My husband and I were both very hardworking people. My husband never played games. Apart from work, he just accompanied his children and then studied. I am also the kind of person who is very serious about work and study, but why did I raise such a daughter? I thought about it countless times but couldn't get the answer.
My daughter showed her talent for science when she was young. She always scored in mathematics in the class and signed up for training classes outside, and her grades were far ahead. Chinese and English are also good, and I will do my homework as soon as possible after school. She has always been a role model for all my friends and children. Don’t worry about my studies. She was once the pride of my husband and I. But after the epidemic started to take online classes, it gradually changed. She learned to play games, chatted with strangers on the Internet, scolded her classmates, and said her brother at home either: Oh, you are awesome. Or it's: Go to death (shit).It’s okay, just doing some weird movements and dancing, which is very ugly. When I encounter happy or unhappy people, I will make some weird expressions. These expressions are particularly ugly, but she doesn’t think that she seems to think it’s very good, and she also said that the classmates in the class are like this, and I am a generation gap.
It is said that during the rebellious period, children will annoy parents and their discipline, and they will be inexplicably upset and want to get angry. But has anyone ever considered the feelings of parents during the rebellious period of their children? She may annoy me, but I feel like I'm annoyed her even more. I would think to myself: How could I give birth to such a stupid child? I even wondered if it would be better if it weren't for her family? She is lazy and the house is messy and doesn’t know how to clean it up. She doesn’t even say that she doesn’t even wash her hair or take a shower. Her hair is so oily that makes me sick. I don’t know if it’s because I’m not a qualified mother. I often dislike her like this. I loved her so much before, but what’s wrong with me now? I just passed my zodiac year and I am not yet in menopause, but why do I annoy her and hate her so much? Even though she is my daughter, I can't find any shadow of me in her, and I don't look like me at all. I often get stuck in thinking, where did the cute, naughty, hardworking, smart and sensible little girl go before? Who stole her or took her body?
I would also wonder if it was caused by family reasons? Although my husband and I have a good relationship, they have always lived with my parents-in-law. My mother-in-law has a strong personality and wants to take care of everything at home. She yells every day, while my father-in-law has a lot of big principles and has no principles in doing things. Could this be the reason? Has she been inherited from another generation? Has inherited all the shortcomings of my parents-in-law? But my husband is very good, there are not so many problems. It’s because I really asked her too much, but she didn’t do this before. Compared with many parents, my requirements are already very low. Do you want me to really stop caring about her?
Every time I take care of it too tightly, my husband will feel distressed and tell me privately that I heard that some mothers take care of it too tightly, and the children and mothers both fight. Every time my husband says this, I will get angry with him, annoyed that he doesn’t understand my mood and expectations for his daughter. My husband and I were never angry before, but I felt that because of her, my feelings for my husband were almost exhausted. Her husband has low requirements and hopes that she has good grades. She always thinks she knows how to learn, but her husband doesn't know that she doesn't learn at all and doesn't work hard at all. If you say too much, my husband is annoyed. My father-in-law will also talk about me. He will say that she is very obedient and well-behaved, and she will listen to whatever she says. But they didn't know that he just listened and didn't act at all.
Once the daughter’s grades were poor, her father-in-law was talking, saying why she was poor again. Every time I fucking want to reply: Who knows how the fucking exam is so bad? She doesn't work hard at all, how could she do well in the exam? But I always hold it back because my educational view does not allow me to respond to my parents like this. But I really want to scold people. Everyone thinks that I am a college teacher and my daughter is not good, so I can just teach her. She is so smart and has a good foundation. She must have worked hard and achieved better grades. But I want to say, if her mother's studies were so simple, why wouldn't everyone in the world get into Tsinghua University and Peking University?
Last year, she chatted with a classmate. She was the principal of a training school and taught mathematics for almost twenty years, but she called me and talked about her child. There was a sentence that I was very impressed by, and she said: Do you know? I have taught so many students over the past ten years, and I never thought that my child would be the worst and stupidest one among the students I teach. I don’t know what’s going on? I can't change him. I have tried many methods. Now I can only comfort myself every night. This may be fate, right? ...
Is my daughter so destined? A poor student? I'm really unwilling to give up, although I still have no better way. I don’t want to hear what those experts say, you should treat your children well and treat them gently, otherwise you will regret it in the future.I've read a lot of books in my fucking way. Is it good for me to be a scholarly family? But if I don’t strictly require her, she won’t learn at all. I hate those who say that their children don’t study, so they will still have food to eat in the future. I just want to say that this is not your child, or that you don’t have such a child. You just sit and talk without a back pain. If this is someone else's child, I would say the same, but this is my own child. I can't avoid
In fact, since the epidemic in the past three years, once the classes are online, my daughter's grades have improved. Although she can't get into the top three, she can almost work hard to get back to the top 10 and is in good condition. However, once the epidemic is taking online classes, it seems that it will not work. Then she keeps repeating this and it seems that it will be difficult to get into it. I communicated with the teacher and hoped that the teacher would be more strict in class, but the teacher said: Children rely on self-consciousness, and none of them can get better by relying on the teacher's management of grades all day long. Sometimes I dare not say much, for fear that the teacher will be annoyed or that the teacher will feel that the parents have too many things, so I will be disrespectful to the children.
However, the epidemic in Zhengzhou is probably not offline before the New Year. This year is already a graduating class, the most critical year. If I keep wasting this, I don’t know what will happen to my daughter in junior high school next year. Will she regret it because of her lack of effort today? My daughter should go to junior high school next year. It seems that it is me, not her, who should go to junior high school.
I wonder if anyone has the same mentality as me, or is I really not a qualified mother?
